Congradulations!!!
He is something you are going to need in the future:
-----------------------------------------------------------
APPLICATION FOR PERMISSION TO DATE MY DAUGHTER
NOTICE: THIS APPLICATION WILL BE INCOMPLETE AND REJECTED UNLESS ACCOMPANIED BY A COMPLETE FINANCIAL STATEMENT, JOB HISTORY, LINEAGE, CRIMINAL HISTORY, DRIVING HISTORY AND PSYCHOLOGICAL EVALUATION.
1. Name, Date of Birth
2. Height, Weight, IQ, GPA
3. Social Security #, Driver's License #
4. Home Address
5. Telephone # Pager # Cell #
6. Do you have one male and one female parent? If NO, explain
7. How fast can you run 40 yards? Two miles?
8. Do you own? A) A Van B) A Motorcycle C) A Waterbed
9. Is any part of your body pierced? (Includes earrings) Tattooed?
NOTE: IF YOU ANSWERED YES TO ANY PART OF QUESTION 8 OR 9 DISCONTINUE THE APPLICATION PROCESS AND LEAVE THE PREMISES!
10. What does LATE mean to you?
11. What does DON'T TOUCH MY DAUGHTER mean to you?
12. What does ABSTINENCE mean?
13. Church you attend, How often attended
14. Best time to interview your Minister, Mother, Father
15. Answer by filling the blanks. Please answer freely. All answers are confidential.
a. The last place on my body I would like to be shot is
b. If beaten, the last bone I would like broken is
c. A woman's place is in the
d. The one thing I hope this application does not ask me about is
e. In the event of my untimely death notify
f. My greatest fear is
g. When I meet a girl, the first thing I notice about her is her
IF THE ANSWER TO "g." BEGINS WITH THE LETTER "B" DISCONTINUE THE APPLICATION PROCESS AND LEAVE THE PREMISES. IT IS ADVISED TO KEEP YOUR HEAD DOWN AND RUN IN A SERPENTINE FASHION!
16. What do you want to be IF you grow up?
17. Have you ever been fingerprinted? Had a DNA sample recorded?
18. Your dentist is
I SWEAR THAT ALL INFORMATION SUPPLIED ABOVE IS CORRECT TO THE BEST OF MY KNOWLEDGE UNPER PENALTY OF DEATH, DISMEMBERMENT, NATIVE AMERICAN ANT TORTURE, CRUCIFIXION, ELECTROCUTION, CHINESE WATER TORTUR AND RED HOT POKERS.
SIGNATURE
Thank you for your interest. Please allow four to six years for processing. You will be contacted in writing if you are approved. Please do not try to call or write. (It could cause disqualification and injury to your body).
------------------------------------------------------------
