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While you guy's were writing this jibberish. I was out riding ! !!!!

John,
Gibberish is serious business:

http://thinkzone.wlonk.com/Gibber/GibGen.htm

Quote:

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“A foolish man tells a woman to stop talking, but a wise man tells her that her mouth is extremely beautiful when her lips are closed.”

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Thats brilliant. But i wont be using that one on the wife anytime soon.

Long I know, but one of the lines popped into my head today...One of my favorites from a bathroom wall (Loo/Lou):

Deteriorata

Introduction

You are a fluke
Of the universe.
You have no right to be here.....
Deteriorata! Deteriorata!


Go placidly
Amid the noise and waste.
And remember what comfort there may be
In owning a piece thereof.


Avoid quiet and passive persons
Unless you are in need of sleep.


Ro-tate your tires.

Speak glowingly of those greater than yourself
And heed well their advice,
Even though they be turkeys.


Know what to kiss.....and when!

Consider that two wrongs never make a right
But that THREE.........do.


Wherever possible, put people on hold.


Be comforted that in the face of all aridity and disillusionment
And despite the changing fortunes of time,
There is always a big future in computer main-te-nance.


Chorus

You are a fluke
Of the universe.
You have no right to be here.
And whether you can hear it or not
The universe is laughing behind your back.


Remember the Pueblo.


Strive at all times to bend, fold, spindle and mu-ti-late.


Know yourself.
If you need help, call the FBI.


Exercise caution in your daily affairs,
Especially with those persons closest to you.
That lemon on your left, for instance.


Be assured that a walk through the ocean of most souls
Would scarcely get your feet wet.


Fall not in love therefore;
It will stick to your face.


Gracefully surrender the things of youth:
The birds, clean air, tuna, Taiwan
And let not the sands of time
Get in your lunch.


Hire people with hooks.


For a good time call 606-4311;
Ask for "Ken."


Take heart amid the deepening gloom
That your dog is finally getting enough cheese.


And reflect that whatever misfortune may be your lot
It could only be worse in Milwaukee.


Chorus

You are a fluke
Of the universe.
You have no right to be here.
And whether you can hear it or not
The universe is laughing behind your back.


Therefore, make peace with your god
Whatever you conceive him to be---
Hairy thunderer, or cosmic muffin.


With all its hopes, dreams, promises and urban renewal
The world continues to deteriorate.


GIVE UP!

Reprise

You are a fluke
Of the universe.
You have no right to be here.
And whether you can hear it or not
The universe is laughing behind your back.




--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Performed by National Lampoon on "National Lampoon Radio Dinner," a 1972 recording by Blue Thumb Records. Lyrics by Tony Hendra.

If your not living on the edge, your just taking up space!

Don't be so open minded your brains fall out.

an old boss of mine had this engraved on his zippo...

"A dog that ****** fast doesn't ****** long."

Why is my ride to work 20.3 miles,and the ride home is 42.7?

Greybeard- what a GREAT granny!

"Riding on a motorcycle can make you feel joyous, powerful, peaceful, frightened, vulnerable, and back out to happy again, perhaps in the same ten miles. It is life compressed, its own answer to the question, 'Why?'"
-Melissa Holbrook Pierson

Paula,

Did you see Steven Wright make a rare TV appearance on Letterman last night? I know you like him.

(a few of his one-liners I recall....)

"My friend is on the Ouija Board of Directors."

"My friend's kid has H.D.A.D.D.
His attention to detail doesn't last very long, but when it does, he's real clear about it."

(I wish I could remember more of them)

Steven Wright was on the Bob and Tom radio show this morning. He's going on tour this summer.

I'm glad to hear he'll be back in front of an audience again then, Stew!

His stuff, and his deadpan delivery, is just classic!

Definitely good news, although it doesn't seem he's coming anywhere near the East Coast! What, don't we need a laugh out here? If anywhere, he should START out here!!!


Here's a thought to ponder. Just traded my old 2000 Passat in for a 2006, a deal too good to pass up!! Full of gee-whiz techno-gadgets (scary!), a 200hp Direct-injected Turbo motor, electronic brakes, throttle and steering, and a "keyless" ignition. Not TRULY keyless, but you stick the whole key fob into the hole in the dash, and push it in like the old Pushbutton starters on race cars. All very slick! The ONLY key that came with the car is a plastic emergency key hidden inside of the key fob to be used as a last resort when the battery is completely kaputt, no metal keys whatsoever!
Well, on the pushbutton for the gas door, the glove box, and the fold-down rear seats, there is a normal keyed lock for "security". If there is no "real" key supplied with the car, why put in the locks? Was there a shortage of metal keys in Germany this year, or a surplus of locks?


As for the car so far, LOVE it. It somewhat softens the blow of not being able to go get my blue out of storage yet (family stuff in the way!!!) 50 extra horses over my old one, 207ft-lbs torque from 1800 rpm to redline, 6-speed tranny, same mpg as the old one despite increase in HP & Torque, sunroof, loaded for $4000 LESS than I paid for my much less loaded Passat wagon back in Dec. 1999, and $500 less than similarly equipped but smaller Jetta that I was looking at! Can't sneeze at that!

Well Greg...It sounds as if you DID sneeze at that, there'd be some kind'a robotic arm that would come out of the steering wheel and wipe that nose o' yours for you ANYWAY!!!

(Those "Huns" are AMAZING, ain't they?!)

I too am glad to see he's back. I would tell my fav. by him but it's pretty offencive. It's about babies.

"Those who like me love me; those who don't are in the long line."

You can't be too rich, too thin...

or have too much horsepower

My older son came up with this one while trying to discribe a friend of mine...

"He's a couple pickled herrings short of a bag of cement".

The one sentence never uttered just prior to a dirt nap:

"I wish I had worked more."

Heard a funny clip from Stephen Wright. "I wish my first word was 'quote' so on my death bed I could say 'end-quote'".

As a father of three, we had our obligatory "Daddy we want a dog" campaign, and yes, it's all on me now, and that's cool, because he is now one of my children, and a saint in the making among dogs. I wasn't really in the market for another mouth to feed, but always did have a soft spot for my three lil' daddy's girl darlins, but my most powerful motivator was the world's strongest; fear, and that on my gravestone they would have etched: "Here lay Dad, the summinabatch who wouldn't let us have a dawg."

Dust is a country accent.

The Wisdom of Larry the Cable Guy

1. A day without sunshine is like night.

2. On the other hand, you have different fingers.

3. 42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.

4. 99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.

5. Remember, half the people you know are below average.

6. He who laughs last thinks slowest.

7. Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.

8. The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese
in the trap.

9. Support bacteria. They're the only culture some people have.

10. A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

11. Change is inevitable, except from vending machines.

12. If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of payments.

13. How many of you believe in psycho-kinesis? Raise my hand.

14. OK, so what's the speed of dark?

15. When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

16. Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.

17. How much deeper would the ocean be without sponges?

18. Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.

19. What happens if you get scared half to death, twice?

20. Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?

21. Inside every older person is a younger person wondering, "What the
heck happened?"

22. Just remember -- if the world didn't suck, we would all fall off.

23. Light travels faster than sound. That's why some people appear bright
until you hear them speak.

24. Life isn't like a box of chocolates; it's more like a jar of
jalapenos. What you do today, might burn your ****** tomorrow.

#22...

# 16...words to live by. thank you Paula.