From Craigslist - A woman who has 197 things she wants you to know (and can't possible argue with):
1. You’ll never have to worry about driving illegally in the carpool lane again
2. The taste of your tongue is all I've ever needed
3. I've got a shiny new Blockbuster card waiting just for you
4. I promise not to use your back to keep my feet warm
5. I'll let you push me on the swings
6. I always put the cap back on the toothpaste
7. I'll stash little notes for you where you'll least expect them
8. We’ll make history together
9. Because no other pirate's tongue can "shiver me timber" quite like yours
10. Sleeping alone just sucks.... period!
11. When you're around me I've got the sex drive of a 16 year old boy
12. There isn't anything I feel I can't tell you
13. I wish I could give you all of my firsts
14. All I can offer you is all of my lasts
15. You’re safe with me
16. I'll wait for you even if you're late
17. I'll lick the envelope for you
18. You've seen the monsters under my bed, and you're still here
19. I'll let you sneak a taste when I'm cooking
20. I know CPR
21.I won't make you wear lame sweaters when we go to family Christmas parties
22. You f******* turn me on!
23. You love my dorkiness
24. When you are trying to keep count, I will try and mess you up
25. You’re magically delicious
26. I suck at strip poker
27. I’ll hold your coffee for you when you’re driving
28. Around you dry panties are a thing of the past
29. I promise not to burn the house down while you’re gone
30. If you wash the car with me I promise to wear a white T-shirt for you
31. I’ll make you Mickey Mouse pancakes
32. I won’t bite unless you want me to
33. Sleeping in has a whole new meaning now that we are doing it together
34. I’ll circle your birthday on my calendar
35. I'll cover you up and kiss your forehead when you fall asleep watching TV
36. I'll carve your initials in a tree
37. I won’t swear around your family
38. I’ve never been Punk’d
39. If you pick me a flower, I’ll wear it in my hair
40. I come with an extended warranty
41. I’ll grant you three wishes
42. I’ll buy you a lap dance
43. I didn't vote for either George Bush
44. I don't tear the tags off my mattresses 'til I get home
45. I always stop to pet dogs outside of grocery stores
46. I'm likely to have a different hair color every time you see me
47. I'm slippery when wet
48. I only use the rail when I walk down the stairs 30% of the time (I love to walk the line ya know)
49. I've never read Playboy for the articles
50. I'll make you laugh
51. I've never been in one of Tommy Lee's movies
52. I'll never undercook the eggs
53. I'll never drink your last beer
54. I can make a mean pot of chili
55. I'll pretend I didn't see you look at that chick with the big
b@@bs56. I'll always be impressed with how strong you are
57. I know that handcuffs aren't just for the cops
58. I don't recycle
59. I do know how many licks it takes to get to the center of a tootsie roll tootsie pop
60. I won't steal the Vicodin out of your medicine cabinet
61. I'll take care of you when you're sick
62. I'll make fun of you
63. I can give a kick a$$ back rub
64. I haven't been a house guest of O.J. Simpson
65. I like porn
66. I can't stand soap operas
67. I don't care if you leave the seat up
68. I pump my own gas
69. I don't give a s*** if I break a nail
70. I've got cookies
71. I don't chew tobacco
72. I take a shower every day
73. I like it when you pull my hair
74. I'll let you beat me at pool (LET you cause if I try, you're going down)
75. I don't care that you go out with the boys
76. I don't eat crackers in bed
77. I think it's hot when you come home all dirty from playing hard
78. I can't stand the mall
79. I don't care what music we listen to in the car
80. I've never eaten a bon-bon in my life
81. When you wash the dishes it turns me on
82. I have a big butt and I am proud of it
83. My heart will jump every time you walk through the door
84. I'll save everything you ever give me
85. I won't ever forget your birthday, and remind you when mine is coming
86. You just can't stop reading this!
87. I always use my nails to scratch a lottery ticket
88. I know where to put in the oil, and have even done it
89. I'll think you're just about the coolest person I know
90. I think pizza and a game at the sports bar down the street is the ideal date
91. What the h*** is "in the box"?
92. I always open a window when I paint
93. I've never been on America's Most Wanted
94. The only drama I have any part of is on t.v.
95. I know how to make a fire
96. I can tie a cherry stem with my tongue
97. I've got secret tattoos
98. My kisses will take your breath away
99. I don't care if you leave your socks on
100. I can't stand John Mayer
101. I never drive faster than 30 mph in a school zone
102. My weird habits you'll find adorable
103. You'll sleep better when I'm next to you
104. I'd f*** Angelina Jolie too
105. I'll thank you every time you open the door
106. I'll never waste your love
107. I'll laugh at every joke even when it's not funny (but only in public - when we're alone I'll tell you if it's not funny)
108. I'd never give you s*** in front of your friends
109. It gets better every time
110. Use as much salt as you want I don't care
111. I won't ever let you leave for work in the morning without your lunch
112. I'll help you find your keys
113. I don't stop and ask for directions either
114. I don't have a big brother, so you don't have to worry about getting your a$$ kicked ever
115. We can watch your movie first
116. I don't need batteries
117. I once ate a cricket
118. I eat red meat
119. I'll clean the house perfect every time your mom comes
120. I'll always have smooth legs
121. I like it when my hair gets messed up
122. I used to be able to put my feet behind my neck
123. My family is just as f'ed up as yours
124. I don't want to get married any time soon
125. I like horror movies
126. I smell pretty good (Kind of citrusy and pina-coladaee)
127. I don't litter
128. When I can I give to charity
129. I can be ready in 10 minutes or less
130. I lose at arm wrestling every time
131. I look both ways before I cross the street
132. I never look directly into the sun
133. I'll look cute in your shirt
134. I'm not a virgin
135. You're hotter and more hilarious than anyone I know
136. I won't ever leave makeup on your shoulder
137. I've never hung a pair of panty hose on the shower rack in my life
138. I like it when you call me a ****** in bed
139. I can balance a check book
140. I'll help you not to forget your mom's birthday
141. I would never yell "fire" in a crowded theatre
142. I'm really good at sneaking food into the movies
143. I was the second grade spelling bee champ
144. I'll never say "nothing's wrong" when there really is
145. I know how to hold my own hair back when I get sick
146. I've never cried over spilt milk
147. I have never stabbed anyone in the eye
148. I can count to 100 by 5's
149. I've never smuggled drugs out of the country
150. I don't care if you eat dinner without a shirt
151. I think it's hot when you......(whack the talley)
152. I never overload the washer
153. What else have you got to do?
154. I know that whipped cream goes on more than sundaes
155. I've never auditioned for American Idol
156. I don't eat yellow snow
157. I like it when you talk to your friends about me in bed
158. My Sunday morning breakfasts will change your life
159. My chin fits 'just right' in your shoulder when you hold me close
160. I'll understand if you get jealous
161. I'm just that good
162. I never had sexual relations with Bill Clinton
163. You're getting very sleepy...
164. I've never been on Jerry Springer
165. I may have already won $10,000,000.
166. You won't be able to get me out of your head
167. I know that sticks are better than automatics
168. I'll let you drive every time if you want
169. I buy a new toothbrush every time the blue wears down
170. I know that objects in the mirror are bigger than they appear
171. Flowers will get you laid every time
172. I've never gotten caught lip synching on SNL
173. I have a $3.24 credit at PayLess Shoes
174. I never leave the engine running while I'm pumping gas
175. I never run with scissors
176. I've taken the Coke/Pepsi challenge and won
177. Almost every time I have a winning bottle top
178. I know how to keep a secret
179. If you spell something wrong I just think it's cute
180. I've never failed a survey
181. I can almost every time find Waldo
182. I never put my fingers in the light socket
183. I'm a Cancer
184. I have all my shots
185. It's okay, I don't really expect you to last longer than 10 minutes anyways
186. I'm pretty ****** funny
187. I'm not a doctor and I've never played one on t.v. either
188. I don't care if you eat off my plate
189. None of my friends are guys I used to have sex with
190. When you're sleeping I'll always try to be quiet
191. I have never run out of gas (well I just f'ed myself there now, didn't I?)
192. I know the difference between they're, their, and there
193. You really kinda would dig having someone to cuddle with on the couch
194. I know how to get stains out of t-shirts
195. I know how to leave you satisfied and hungry for more every time
196. I'm really good at making lists
197. After reading this far you've already got too much time invested all ready - might as well e-mail me.
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