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 Something to offend everyone
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Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 386
Adjunct
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OP
Adjunct
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 386 |
SOMETHING TO OFFEND EVERYONE:
What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball?
Juan on Juan
What is the difference between a Harley and a Hoover ?
The position of the dirt bag
Why is divorce so expensive?
Because it's worth it.
Why is air a lot like sex?
Because it's no big deal unless you're not getting any
What do you call a smart blonde?
A golden retriever.
What do attorneys use for birth control?
Their personalities.
What's the difference between a girlfriend and wife?
45 lbs
What's the difference between a boyfriend and husband?
45 minutes
What's the fastest way to a man's heart?
Through his chest with a sharp knife.
Why do men want to marry virgins?
They can't stand criticism.
What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog?
After a year, the dog is still excited to see you.
What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying?
The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.
What's the difference between a porcupine and BMW?
A porcupine has the pricks on the outside.
What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant?
"Are you sure it's mine?"
Why does Mike Tyson cry during sex?
Mace will do that to you.
Why did OJ Simpson want to move to Arkansas ?
Everyone has the same DNA.
Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?
Breasts don't have eyes.
Why do drivers' education classes in Redneck schools use the car only on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays?
Because on Tuesdays and Thursdays, the Sex Ed class uses it.
Where does an Irish family go on vacation?
A different bar.
Did you hear about the Chinese couple that had a retarded baby?
They named him "Sum Ting Wong".
What would you call it when an Italian has one arm shorter than the other?
A speech impediment.
What does it mean when the flag at the Post Office is flying at half-mast?
They're hiring.
What's the difference between a southern zoo and a northern zoo?
A southern zoo has a description of the animal on the front of the cage along with... "a recipe".
Why is there no Disneyland in China ?
No one's tall enough to go on the good rides.
Women and cats will do as they please. Men and dogs should just get used to that fact and relax
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Re: Something to offend everyone
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Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 287
Adjunct
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Adjunct
Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 287 |
How many irish does it take to change a lightbulb...........5.............1 to hold the bulb and 4 to drink til the room spins..
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 Re: Something to offend everyone
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Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 2,626
Loquacious
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Loquacious
Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 2,626 |
How many therapists does it take to change a light bulb?
It only takes one, but it takes a long time, and the light bulb has to want to change.
Steelheart- '03 Speedmaster Black/Yellow
The Hayabusa Killa
16" Shorties/140 mains/Airbox drilled
Procom CDI
"There is no cure for Celibacy. But we can treat the symptoms."
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Re: Something to offend everyone
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Joined: Aug 2006
Posts: 2,555
Loquacious
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Loquacious
Joined: Aug 2006
Posts: 2,555 |
Whats the difference between a lawyer and a carp?
One is a scum sucking bottom feeder.
The other is a fish.
The percentage you're paying is too high-priced
While you're living beyond all your means
And the man in the suit has just bought a new car
From the profit he's made on your dreams
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Re: Something to offend everyone
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Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 431
Adjunct
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Adjunct
Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 431 |
What's uglier than an old Indian women with no teeth?
An old Indian women with one tooth.
Willy-2003 BA
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