Just heard a good one on "The 5 o'clock Funnies"(an excerpt from a stand-up routine, recorded at a local comedy club) a daily segment on KLOS-FM, the local Classic Rock station in Los Angeles. Didn't catch the comic's name, but I thought the line was pretty funny AND appropriate for the holidays.....
"I never get anything fun for Christmas anymore. Last year my Aunt Betty have me a robe. I remember thinking after I opened the box it came in...Gee, I can't wait to get the flu so I can wear it."
