 O.T. Good Excuse; may come in handy
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Joined: May 2006
Posts: 1,025
Learned Hand
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OP
Learned Hand
Joined: May 2006
Posts: 1,025 |
Ok, Beckys post reminded me of this thought I had... Thought I'd share... Ever get in trouble for leaving the toilet seat up? Here's the excuse... "Honey I know how us Men get sometimes. So I gave this some thought. You may think that Gentelman put the toilet seat down for the ladies because it's the polite thing to do, right? And that rotten bass turds like me leave it up because we don't think, right? Well, if a Rotten bass turd goes to the bathroom after me and he has a problem with "leaking" on the rim, he obviously is not capeable of picking up the seat if it were down before he relieved himself. That would leave your only clean seat, soiled by a Bass turd. I leave the seat up because I know it will be safe up there and no-one will mess with your clean seat. See honey, I'm always thinking about you."  When finished, DO NOT say, "I suggest you start putting it up when your done too." ...unless of course you like the whoopin.  And DO NOT gloat about yourself being the Gentelman. 
06BA,-AI,NoBfls,K&NPods,TBS,155/45,2 3/4Out,SidGapPlgs,Wirsnbrs
NawImPrityFknFarFrmOkMan
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 Re: O.T. Good Excuse; may come in handy
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Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 1,193
Learned Hand
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Learned Hand
Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 1,193 |
Delivered with charm and sincerity (oh, and perhaps along with a sparkly sumpin' in a lttle velvet box to demonstrate good intent), this would work until 2 AM when she FALLS IN!! (Think of the sparkly sumpin' as the "pre-apology".) What is it I was told...."A smart woman thoroughly enjoys a man's flattery while knowing better than to believe it." Tee- hee. 
"Let your soul shine,
It's better than sunshine,
It's better than moonshine,
****** sure better than rain."
-ABB
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 Re: O.T. Good Excuse; may come in handy
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Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 670
Adjunct
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Adjunct
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 670 |
Of course being the guy who has to put on the "Plumber hat" and expose some butt crack when there are plumbing problems, I eliminated this controversial subject in my house long ago. EVERYBODY PUTS THE SEAT AND LID DOWN. Open the toilet how you need to use it, and then PUT THE SEAT AND LID DOWN!!! That way that wonderful 'free' plumber doesn't have to break out the tongs, snake, and fowl language (not to mention butt crack) when 'somebody' accidentally drops something in the toilet and tries to flushe the evidence. Of course at my house like many across this planet, 'Nobody' did that!  later, Tom.
But, what do I know?
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 Re: O.T. Good Excuse; may come in handy
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Joined: Aug 2006
Posts: 2,555
Loquacious
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Loquacious
Joined: Aug 2006
Posts: 2,555 |
Ah yes one of my fondest memories of my first wife..... her about 1:00 am half drunk pants around ankles arms failing in the air, bare buns soaking in the cold toilet water, screaming death threats at the top of her lungs.....
god I miss that woman....
The percentage you're paying is too high-priced
While you're living beyond all your means
And the man in the suit has just bought a new car
From the profit he's made on your dreams
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 Re: O.T. Good Excuse; may come in handy
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Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 95
Member
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Member
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 95 |
LOL, sounds familiar.
The thing I never understood is why anyone would sit without first looking.
My philosophy is that thinking it's down when it's up is better than the other way around.
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 Re: O.T. Good Excuse; may come in handy
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Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 6,821
Bar Shake
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Bar Shake
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 6,821 |
Yeah Tom. Seat and lid down. I got into this habit when my children were small after reading about a toddler who was playing in the water, fell in headfirst, could not get out and drowned.
Contra todo mal, mezcal; contra todo bien, también
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 Re: O.T. Good Excuse; may come in handy
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Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 2,664
Loquacious
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Loquacious
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 2,664 |
Perfect reply Tom! At home, I leave the seat up to let everyone in this sea of estrogen I've swum in for 30 years know that my lone self did not dribble on the seat.
The best solution is to sit down and evacuate your bladder. While standing, there is not one corner, crack or crevice I've gone in that did not splatter stuff out of the bowl and onto my nekkid feet. It's OK to sit down to pee. Standing up is a convenience that males inherit by having the world as a urinal. If you have all that fuzzy crap around your crapper, it needs to be pee'd on to make you throw it away. Nasty!
Another point - I used to hate sitting down on a COLD public toilet. Then one day I happened to sit on a WARM one - YUCK! Shut up and go pee.
Paula, what do you think? I've dealt with the issue from differing views. One from the sensible wife who asked me, "Please leave the seat up, so I'll know I don't have to clean it?". The other from my 'dumber than a bag of hammers' sister in law who said, "Put the seat down after you use it". She must have fallen in a time or two. I can see it now - Jackie backing into a dark bathroom, pulling down her unmentionables, saying quietly, "Please let it be down, I really don't want to fall in!!!".
Ladies, please turn the light on and look at the thing - you'll see.
Do you hang your toilet paper roll over or under on the holder?
Ride Safe,
Dennis
Triumph, it's how I live and what I ride.
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 Re: O.T. Good Excuse; may come in handy
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Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 6,821
Bar Shake
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Bar Shake
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 6,821 |
Just pee into the shower, uses less water to flush and your aim doesn't have to be too good. 
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 Re: O.T. Good Excuse; may come in handy
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Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 2,664
Loquacious
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Loquacious
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 2,664 |
Ride Safe,
Dennis
Triumph, it's how I live and what I ride.
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 Re: O.T. Good Excuse; may come in handy
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Joined: May 2006
Posts: 1,025
Learned Hand
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OP
Learned Hand
Joined: May 2006
Posts: 1,025 |
Can't lie... I'm the one who, when a guest at a house, can not leave the bathroom toilet all pissed up before I leave. You know... When you walk in to go potty and see one of the "others" before you, missed... Then if you leave it, it looks like your the bass turd. I always grab some T.P. and do a quick wipe. Then put the seat down, lid and all. Guess it's my civic duty. Hey, if I helped drink the beer, it's the least I could do.  No, I'm not coming over. 
06BA,-AI,NoBfls,K&NPods,TBS,155/45,2 3/4Out,SidGapPlgs,Wirsnbrs
NawImPrityFknFarFrmOkMan
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 Re: O.T. Good Excuse; may come in handy
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Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 1,193
Learned Hand
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Learned Hand
Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 1,193 |
Dennis- 30 years in the "sea of estrogen"- love it! Applause, applause to you for bravely navigating such foreign, unfathomable, uncharted, and unpredictable waters! I think "Put the seat down" may harken back somehow to the days when men were supposed to flop their cloaks down on mud puddles so that those of us of the gentler sex wouldn't dirty our pretty little shoes while out walking. ( Me, I'd rather be carried over said mud puddle- nothing better than being lifted into the arms of a big strong man, plus the added bonus of no muddy cloak to wash later!  ) "If you sprinkle when you tinkle, please be neat and wipe the seat." Wise words, regardless of gender, although cutesy bathroom plaques has always seemed a little weird to me.....(Pre- apologies to any collectors of cutesy bathroom stuff.)
"Let your soul shine,
It's better than sunshine,
It's better than moonshine,
****** sure better than rain."
-ABB
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 Re: O.T. Good Excuse; may come in handy
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Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 6,821
Bar Shake
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Bar Shake
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 6,821 |
Quote:
"If you sprinkle when you tinkle, please be neat and wipe the seat." Wise words, regardless of gender, although cutesy bathroom plaques has always seemed a little weird to me.....(Pre- apologies to any collectors of cutesy bathroom stuff.)
Could become a diversion (if not hijacking). A couple of memorable ones:
"We aim to please. You aim too, please"
"All players with short bats are requested to stand closer to home plate"
Contra todo mal, mezcal; contra todo bien, también
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 Re: O.T. Good Excuse; may come in handy
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Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 2,839 Likes: 3
Loquacious
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Loquacious
Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 2,839 Likes: 3 |
when my son was about 4, he flushed an apple,(guess who had to pull the toilet from the floor to retrieve it) the lid and seat stay down to this day..... unless in use hahahahahaaha we thought there was a problem with the toilet, so i went and bought a new one but when i pulled the old one from the floor, there was the apple. he really didnt know he had done something wrong so i couldnt get to mad hahahahahaha but he has never tried it again hahahahahaha 
ENJOY!!!!! NEWT!!!!!
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