Pretty much anything Frank Booth said in "Blue Velvet."
Lester Burnham in "American Beauty" has some great stuff too.
Lester Burnham: [narrating] That's my wife, Carolyn. See the way the handle on her pruning shears matches her gardening clogs? That's not an accident.
Carolyn Burnham: Uh, who's car is that out front?
Lester Burnham: Mine. 1970 Pontiac Firebird. The car I've always wanted and now I have it. I rule!
Lester Burnham: Look at me, jerking off in the shower... This will be the high point of my day; it's all downhill from here.
Lester Burnham: Then I guess I'll have to throw in a sexual harassment charge.
Brad Dupree: Against who?
Lester Burnham: Against YOU. Can you prove that you didn't offer to save my job if I let you blow me?
Brad Dupree: Man, you are one twisted f&ck.
Lester Burnham: No, Brad; I'm just an ordinary guy who has nothing left to lose.
[at the dinner table]
Carolyn Burnham: Your father and I were just discussing his day at work. Why don't you tell our daughter about it, honey?
Lester Burnham: Janie, today I quit my job. And then I told my boss to go f&ck himself, and then I blackmailed him for almost sixty thousand dollars. Pass the asparagus.
