Bonneville America Forums Forums Off Topic Discussion Forums Lounge Todays Joke

Bikers Malcolm, Frank, and Rod were waiting for entrance into Heaven.
St. Peter walked up to Malcolm and asked, "How many times did you cheat on your wife, and remember, I will know the truth." Malcolm thought for a moment and replied, "Well, sir, it must be around 40 times." "Fine," said St. Peter, "you may enter Heaven but you will be riding that silly old harley over there."

St. Peter approached Frank and asked the same question. Frank answered, "Sir, I do believe it couldn't have been more than 20 times. "Good," said St. Peter, "you may enter Heaven, also, and you will be riding that red 800 Kawasaki custom over there.

St. Peter stepped up to Rod and repeated the question. Without pause, Rod answered, "Never!"
St. Peter peered at him quizzically and said, "Never?" "I have never been unfaithful to my wife, sir" he replied. "Excellent," stated St. Peter. "You may enter Heaven and you will be riding that beautiful triumph bonny over there"
Grinning from ear to ear, Rod approaches the bike, but when he reaches the beautiful Triumph, he suddenly lays his head on the tank and begins to cry. St. Peter rushes over and asks, "What's the matter?

You have never cheated on you wife, you've gained entrance into Heaven, and you will be riding a choice Triumph for the rest of eternity." Rod replied between sobs, "See that woman over there on the old beat-up Harley?
That's my wife!"

Ok spud you started it.


3 married couples, Die in a plane crash.

All 3 couples arrive at the gates of Heaven at the same time. And are greeted By St Peter.

St Peter looks at the first couple for a moment then shouts.
"GREED GOLD MONEY WEALTH You do not belong here" "your whole lives were spent in the quest for riches, your lust for gold consumed you, all your waking moments were spent
in your quest for wealth,and you dreamt only of riches."
He looks at the man in particular and says "And YOU, your love of money was so strong you married a girl named PENNY"

"Be gone the both of you .....INTO THE VOID" he points to a distant darkness.The couple turn slowly and walk towards it.

The Second couple approach.
St Peter looks at them for a moment and again he shouts.

"BOOZE, ALCOHOL,THE DEMON RUM you do not belong here.
Your lives were spent in drunkeness,You took the Devil into your mouth to steal the brain god gave you.And now you expect entry into paradise? and you" he said to the man "your love of strong drink was so strong you married a girl named BRANDY"

"Be gone the both of you........INTO THE VOID"


The 3rd couple watching from a distance do not approach.
The man turns to the woman and says.

"Let's go FANNY we dont stand a chance"

A TBA rider sees his Harley Riding friend stopped at a red light. He pulls alongside and says "I thought I saw your name on a loaf of bread today at the food store, but when I got up close I realised it said 'Thick CUT'...."

Spud!- very good!

Hey Guys.....Couple of good ones....HeHe

50 bucks, same as in Town.

Here's one of my favorite jokes....

A rabbi and a priest get into a car accident and it's a bad one. Both cars are totally demolished, but, amazingly, neither of the clerics is hurt.

After they crawl out of their cars, the rabbi sees the priest's collar and says, "So you're a priest. I'm a rabbi. Just look at our cars. There's nothing left, but we are unhurt. This must be a sign from God. God must have meant that we should meet and be friends and live together in peace the rest of our days."

The priest replies, "I agree with you completely. This must be a sign from God."

The rabbi continues, "And look at this. Here's another miracle. My car is completely demolished, but this bottle of Mogen David wine didn't break. Surely God wants us to drink this wine and celebrate our good fortune." Then he hands the bottle to the priest.

The priest agrees, takes a few big swigs, and hands the bottle back to the rabbi. The rabbi takes the bottle, immediately puts the cap on, and hands it back to the priest. The priest asks, "Aren't you having any?"

"The rabbi replies, "No... I think I'll wait for the police."
.............................................

I always get a chuckle out of that.

This one tickles me too....

A cop pulls over a car load of nuns....

Cop: "Sister, this is a 65 MPH highway - why are you going so slow?"

Sister: "Sir, I saw a lot of signs that said 22, not 65."

Cop: "Oh sister, that's not the speed limit, that's the name of the highway you're on!"

Sister: "Oh! Silly me! Thanks for letting me know. I'll be more careful."

At this point the cop looks in the back seat where the other nuns are shaking and trembling.

Cop: "Excuse me, Sister, what's wrong with your friends back there? They're shaking something terrible."

Sister: "Oh, we just got off of highway 119."

Like the rabbi and the priest joke.....

Thanks, Andy, for the Harley joke. If anyone has really good Harley jokes, I certainly can use them. I spend all my time riding with HD friends who could definitetly use some ribbing.

I'm resisting the urge to say HD's are jokes in themselves.

Guess I didnt resist hard enough.

Do you know the difference between a Harley and a Hoover?


The position of the "DIRT BAG"!
Thank you, Thank you, Thank You...

BRAVO SPUD

Why do Harleys have those long fringed leather things hanging off the hand grips?


To shoo the flies off the chick ridin' on the back!