 Democrat, Republican, or Southerner?
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Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 601
Adjunct
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OP
Adjunct
Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 601 |
Are you a Democrat, Republican or Southerner? Here is a little test that will help you decide. The answer can be found by posing the following question:
You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children. Suddenly, an Islamic Terrorist with a huge knife comes around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, praises Allah, raises the knife, and charges at you.
You are carrying a Glock cal 40, and you are an expert shot. You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family. What do you do?
Democrat's Answer:
Well, that's not enough information to answer the question!
Does the man look poor? Or oppressed?
Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack?
Could we run away?
What does my wife think?
What about the kids?
Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out ofhis hand?
What does the law say about this situation?
Does the Glock have appropriate safety built into it?
Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does this send to society and to my children?
Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to wound me?
If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while he was stabbing me?
Should I call 9-1-1?
Why is this street so deserted? We need to raise taxes, have a paint and weed day and make this happier, healthier street that would discourage such behavior.
This is all so confusing! I need to debate this with some friends for few days and try to come to a consensus.
Republican's Answer:
BANG!
Southerner's Answer:
BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! click.....(sounds of reloading).
BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! click
Daughter: "Nice grouping, Daddy! Were those the Winchester Silver Tips or Hollow Points?
Son: Can I shoot the next one??
Wife: You ain't taking that to the Taxidermist!
MIKE
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Re: Democrat, Republican, or Southerner?
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Joined: Mar 2005
Posts: 2,047
Oil Expert
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Oil Expert
Joined: Mar 2005
Posts: 2,047 |
Republican, a well placed bullet saves amo for the rest of the walk down the street.
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Re: Democrat, Republican, or Southerner?
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Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 592
Adjunct
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Adjunct
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 592 |
Is that a funny, or a fact, or a funny fact?
P.S. I am southern
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Re: Democrat, Republican, or Southerner?
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Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 303
Adjunct
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Adjunct
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 303 |
Southerner, but I still would strap him to my car hood and take him to the taxidermist. Later in life, I would drink my PBR and remember the day.No telling how many wifes would have called my double wide home by then.
Mark
A Dyslexic Man Walks Into A Bra
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Re: Democrat, Republican, or Southerner?
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Joined: May 2005
Posts: 403
Adjunct
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Adjunct
Joined: May 2005
Posts: 403 |
Some folks won't get your sense of humor but...Im crying with laughter so much that my stomach hurts.... 
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Re: Democrat, Republican, or Southerner?
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Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 18,825
"Lighten up, Francis."
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"Lighten up, Francis."
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 18,825 |
Hmmmm, the southerner in that story sounds a lot like a Montanan.
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Re: Democrat, Republican, or Southerner?
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Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 12,164 Likes: 1
Should be Riding
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Should be Riding
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 12,164 Likes: 1 |
According to that scenario, I must be a republican. I don't have time to mess around. Get the job done and move on. 
This is one I have to pass around!
Soren
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Re: Democrat, Republican, or Southerner?
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Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 601
Adjunct
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OP
Adjunct
Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 601 |
To the Republican, the one shot means "take care of business and move on". But the Southerner takes his time, and savors the sport!
MIKE
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Re: Democrat, Republican, or Southerner?
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Joined: Mar 2006
Posts: 2,527
Loquacious
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Loquacious
Joined: Mar 2006
Posts: 2,527 |
I dont think anyone needs to ask which one I am.
"Proud to be an Infidel" ... "100% pure American Jingoist"
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Re: Democrat, Republican, or Southerner?
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Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 3,606 Likes: 2
Loquacious
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Loquacious
Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 3,606 Likes: 2 |
I'm just a cheap "yankee" can't see waisting any more $$$ than required...so I would Prob skip the reload!
THE VOICE OF REASON
per: Stewart
AF&AM/Shriner/Scoutmaster
130/45 TBS 2shim SS Uni 18/42
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Re: Democrat, Republican, or Southerner?
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Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 670
Adjunct
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Adjunct
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 670 |
Yup, skip the reload. Check his pockets for ID, call a few friends and haul his carcass over to his house to see if there are anymore targets available. Guess I'll have to take Diversity training over. I think I'm on a weekly schedule! later, Tom.
But, what do I know?
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Re: Democrat, Republican, or Southerner?
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Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 6,308 Likes: 4
Worn Saddle
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Worn Saddle
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 6,308 Likes: 4 |
I love it, humor has no boundries!
A word to the wise is not necessary. It is the stupid ones who need the advice.
Pat
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Re: Democrat, Republican, or Southerner?
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Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 11,126 Likes: 13
Should be Riding
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Should be Riding
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 11,126 Likes: 13 |
Quote:
Republican, a well placed bullet saves amo for the rest of the walk down the street.
Dang Matt. Do you think that Southerner Republicans don't carry several clips?
Blowing gravel off rural roads
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Re: Democrat, Republican, or Southerner?
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Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 3,954
Loquacious
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Loquacious
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 3,954 |
Now see, I think this whole thing is missing the point. I think we should be helping American industry, and so would recommend running the perp over with a Chevy, and then backing over him to see if the back-up warning alarm worked...
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Re: Democrat, Republican, or Southerner?
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Joined: Mar 2006
Posts: 2,527
Loquacious
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Loquacious
Joined: Mar 2006
Posts: 2,527 |
Quote:
Now see, I think this whole thing is missing the point. I think we should be helping American industry, and so would recommend running the perp over with a Chevy, and then backing over him to see if the back-up warning alarm worked...
Or hit the perp with a few cruise missiles to help ensure future contracts for Raytheon here in Tucson...lots of people who help manufacture those missiles need to retire ya know.
And we need to keep building submarines. I'd personally like to see at least two boats a year to be manufactured for the next fifteen years with follow on spare ship sets of submarine hydraulics as well. That'd ensure my retirement nicely I believe.
It seems every time someone feels a need to cut back on defense spending the towel heads get ugly somewhere in the world and put a damper on cutting back the ole military industrial complex.
The bullets and bombs industry is doing well with no apologies for anything.
Its a pain to lose anyone in this war but I do take pleasure in helping supply the bombs and bullets part.
I expect Israel will be ordering some more rubber bullets shortly.
The towel heads may have some problems with re-supply in that little ongoing fire-fight. They will have to hump those rockets in by camel soon at the rate Israel is blowing up bridges, roads, and infrastructure.
The camels union is going to be unhappy!
"Proud to be an Infidel" ... "100% pure American Jingoist"
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Re: Democrat, Republican, or Southerner?
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Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 8,639 Likes: 3
Old Hand
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Old Hand
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 8,639 Likes: 3 |
With an M1911-A1, all it takes is 1 round in the middle to knock him on his arse and one between the eyes to make him look better.
Let's hope there's intelligent life somewhere in space 'cause it's buggar all down here. -- Monte Python
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Re: Democrat, Republican, or Southerner?
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Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 6,681 Likes: 1
Bar Shake
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Bar Shake
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 6,681 Likes: 1 |
That's Hilarious Hey I'm a Democrat and a social worker with some military and and weapons experience. I'd just put a clean one between his eyes and move on... Hollow points are dang expensive 
"Catching a yellow jacket in your shirt at seventy miles per hour can double your vocabulary" Author unknown
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Re: Democrat, Republican, or Southerner?
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Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 7,630 Likes: 7
Monkey Butt
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Monkey Butt
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 7,630 Likes: 7 |
Quote:
That's Hilarious Hey I'm a Democrat and a social worker with some military and and weapons experience. I'd just put a clean one between his eyes and move on... Hollow points are dang expensive
My Mom was a supervisory social worker, a Democrat, prior military with just a little weapons training. She was a crummy shot so she kept a ball bat in the house. Between her and the three good sized dogs she had when she was older I would not have wanted to be a stranger breaking into her house at night. 
We all like to think of ourselves as rugged individualists. But when push comes to shove most of us are sheep who do what we are told. Worst of all, a lot of us become unpaid agents of whoever is controlling the agenda by enforcing the current dogma on the few rugged individualists who actually exist.
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Re: Democrat, Republican, or Southerner?
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Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 2,664
Loquacious
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Loquacious
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 2,664 |
Quote:
But the Southerner takes his time, and savors the sport!
Southerner, for sure.
Most would shoot and go on and do something else. A southerner will shoot, then back up and look at it - then flip it over with his foot. Oh yes, "Take the knife!".
Ride Safe,
Dennis
Triumph, it's how I live and what I ride.
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Re: Democrat, Republican, or Southerner?
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Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 26
Greenhorn
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Greenhorn
Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 26 |
When we Southerner's shoot something, we either mount or deep fry it.
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Re: Democrat, Republican, or Southerner?
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Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 287
Adjunct
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Adjunct
Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 287 |
silvertips are hollow points
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