 English Humor!
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Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 645
Adjunct
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OP
Adjunct
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 645 |
After having their 11th child, a Liverpool couple decided that was enough, the husband went to his doctor and told him that he and his wife didn't want to have any more children.
The doctor told him there was a procedure called a vasectomy that would fix the problem but it was expensive. A less costly alternative was to go home, get a firework, light it, put it in a beer can, then hold the can up to his ear and count to 10.
The Scouser said to the doctor, "I may not be the smartest guy in the world, but I don't see how putting a firework in a beer can next to my ear is going to help me." "Trust me, it will do the job", said the doctor.
So the man went home, lit a banger and put it in a beer can. He held the can up to his ear and began to count: "1, 2, 3, 4, 5," at which point he paused, placed the beer can between his legs so he could continue counting on his other hand...
This procedure also works in Birmingham, parts of Essex, Sunderland, Aberdeen and anywhere in Wales.
Martyn
If you have to ask why I ride, you wouldn't understand the answer!
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 Re: English Humor!
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Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 18,825
"Lighten up, Francis."
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"Lighten up, Francis."
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 18,825 |
I'm pretty sure I've heard that one with good ol' American hillbillies before... 
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 Re: English Humor!
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Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 7,643
Monkey Butt
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Monkey Butt
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 7,643 |
Nice one Martyn, obviously a little slow on the uptake here in the UK.... 
Ray(UK)
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 Re: English Humor!
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Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 3,954
Loquacious
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Loquacious
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 3,954 |
Quote:
After having their 11th child, a Liverpool couple decided that was enough
OOOH, I thought that said Blackpool for a second there, sorry Ray!!! 
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 Re: English Humor!
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Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 2,254
Oil Expert
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Oil Expert
Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 2,254 |
aaahahahahahahaha 
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 Re: English Humor!
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Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 431
Adjunct
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Adjunct
Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 431 |
My favourite scouser joke:
The Ferrari Formula 1 Team sacked its entire pit crew yesterday. The announcement followed Ferrari's decision to take advantage of the UK Government's Youth Opportunity Scheme and employ people from Liverpool.
The decision to hire them was brought on by a recent documentary on how unemployed youths from Liverpool area were able to remove a set of wheels in less than six seconds without proper equipment, whereas Ferrari's existing crew can only do it in eight seconds, even with millions of Euros worth of high tech equipment.
Prime Minister Tony Blair went on record as saying this was a bold move by the Ferrari management, which demonstrated the international recognition of the UK under New Labour.
As most races are won and lost in the pits, Ferrari now have the advantage over every team.
However, Ferrari may have got more than they bargained for.
At the crew's first practice session, the Liverpool pit crew successfully changed the tyres in under six seconds, but within 12 seconds they had re-sprayed, re-badged, and sold the vehicle to the McLaren Team for a dozen bottles of Stella, a kilo of cannabis and some photos of Coulthard's bird in the shower.
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 Re: English Humor!
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Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 20,096 Likes: 2
Fe Butt
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Fe Butt
Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 20,096 Likes: 2 |
 Geez Simon! WHAT?! Did Tony forget that all one has to do is give the Liverpudlian youth a friggin' GUITAR, and they can MAKE MILLIONS!!!  Cheers, Dwight (what's come of the place, anyway???) 
Yep! Just like a good Single Malt Scotch, you might call me "an acquired taste" TOO.(among the many OTHER things you may care to call me, of course)
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 Re: English Humor!
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Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 7,643
Monkey Butt
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Monkey Butt
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 7,643 |
Quote:
Quote:
After having their 11th child, a Liverpool couple decided that was enough
OOOH, I thought that said Blackpool for a second there, sorry Ray!!!
Hey I am halfway there with 5, and three marriages 
Ray(UK)
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 Re: English Humor!
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Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 7,643
Monkey Butt
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Monkey Butt
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 7,643 |
Nice one Simon, copied that one and posted it via email.... 
Ray(UK)
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 Re: English Humor!
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Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 2,839 Likes: 3
Loquacious
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Loquacious
Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 2,839 Likes: 3 |
i was wondering if the guy might be a h.d. rider hahahahahahahahahahaha 
ENJOY!!!!! NEWT!!!!!
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