 Groaners
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Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 655
Adjunct
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OP
Adjunct
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 655 |
1. Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent
2. A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says, "I'll serve you, but don't start anything."
3. Two peanuts walk into a bar, and one was a salted.
4. A dyslexic man walks into a bra.
5. Man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and says: "A beer, please, and one for the road."
6. Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other: "Does this taste funny to you?"
7. "Doc, I can't stop singing 'The Green, Green Grass of Home.'" "That sounds like Tom Jones Syndrome." "Is it common?" "Well, "It's Not Unusual. . . "
8. Two cows are standing next to each other in a field. Daisy says to Dolly, "I was artificially inseminated this morning." "I don't believe you," says Dolly. "It's true, no bull!" exclaims Daisy.
9. An invisible man marries an invisible woman. The kids were nothing to look at either.
10 . I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day, but I couldn't find any.
11 . A man woke up in a hospital after a serious accident. He shouted, "Doctor, doctor, I can't feel my legs!" The doctor replied, "I know you can't - I've cut off your arms!"
12 . I went to a seafood disco last week and pulled a mussel.
13 . What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh.
14 . Two termites walk into a bar. One asks, "Is the bar tender here?"
15. I know your stuck at dyslexic.
Last edited by tatkin; 04/03/2006 10:14 PM.
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Re: Groaners
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Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 5,537
Check Pants
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Check Pants
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 5,537 |
You're not a Don & Mike fan by any chance? They open their radio show with "groaners". The Tom Jones one made me smile.
Al
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Re: Groaners
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Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 1,500
Learned Hand
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Learned Hand
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 1,500 |
Bad, bad, bad. 
Learning from my mistakes... again and again.
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Re: Groaners
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Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 4,541
Loquacious
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Loquacious
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 4,541 |
Groaners...., you weren't kidding.
Arsenalfan. AKA Mark Able
Seller of fine automobiles.
Jaguar, Land Rover, Porsche of Chattanooga
423-424-4000
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Re: Groaners
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Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 608
Adjunct
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Adjunct
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 608 |
Wow, spooky coincidence, tatkin. Just a couple of hours ago, I was writing about the problem of linguistic polysemy and using puns as an example of how certain types of humor are based solely on this phenomenon. The groaners you use are exactly the same as the ones I used in the article! Holy synchronicity, Batman! And re-reading what I've just written, I think I am turning into Frasier Crane. I feel a new screen name coming on.  Siggy
If life wasn't so pointless and absurd, I would take it more seriously.
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Re: Groaners
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Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 258
Adjunct
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Adjunct
Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 258 |
Love it!!! Number 4 was the best.
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Re: Groaners
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Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 6,308 Likes: 4
Worn Saddle
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Worn Saddle
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 6,308 Likes: 4 |
 Keep your day job! bad bad bad tatkin
A word to the wise is not necessary. It is the stupid ones who need the advice.
Pat
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