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Revision of English Spelling
#507994 12/13/2012 6:11 AM
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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility.

As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5- year phase-in plan that would become known as "Euro-English".

In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c".. Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.

There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f".. This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter.

In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.

Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling.

Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away.

By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v".

During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensi bl riten styl.

Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi TU understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.

Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst plas.

If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl.

And for Dwight,this should create some hair pulling moments as they consider that it is not the "u" that is deemed superfluous, but rather the "o".

Re: Revision of English Spelling
dollarbill #507995 12/13/2012 9:33 AM
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My new venture: http://www.voglosounds.com
Re: Revision of English Spelling
dollarbill #507996 12/13/2012 12:30 PM
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So Bill, I guess this might be a case of..."Tudeh ze Oxford dikshunary, Tumoro ze verld", eh?!


Yep! Just like a good Single Malt Scotch, you might call me "an acquired taste" TOO.(among the many OTHER things you may care to call me, of course)
Re: Revision of English Spelling
Dwight #507997 12/13/2012 1:53 PM
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That's great. Must share.


08 America Rinehart exhaust, Clearview shield, Viking bags and magic carb's
Re: Revision of English Spelling
cmiman #507998 12/13/2012 8:51 PM
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Changing my name to Sin . . . .


I would be unstoppable if not for law enforcement and physics. 2002, Cardinal Red & Silver
Re: Revision of English Spelling
CynMcA #507999 12/13/2012 9:27 PM
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Stolen and sent directly to my German mates. thanks DollarB

Re: Revision of English Spelling
Celt #508000 12/13/2012 10:21 PM
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Jetzt verstehe ich komplete!


Karl Independence, MO '07 America, Cinnamon Girl (aka: Black Beauty) - Sit Down, Shut Up & Hang On
Re: Revision of English Spelling
Dwight #508001 12/13/2012 10:57 PM
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Quote:



So Bill, I guess this might be a case of..."Tudeh ze Oxford dikshunary, Tumoro ze verld", eh?!




No Dwight , the world is a bit further down the track, poor old Angela is busy trying to conquer Europe, Hitler tried by means of force, she is doing it by financial stealth.

After all it was the Germans who set up the Euro, to protect the deutschmark against the yankee dollar.

Thought you would like it.

Re: Revision of English Spelling
dollarbill #508002 12/14/2012 1:11 AM
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Loquacious
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Dinosaur.

"Oh Man I only ride 'em.I don't know what makes 'em work". Donald "Oddball" Sutherland

"Don't let the bastards get you down". Kris Kristofferson

"I am only paranoid because everyone is against me". Larry [Frank Burns] Linville
Re: Revision of English Spelling
findlay13 #508003 12/16/2012 7:00 AM
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I live in the sun downunder
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I live in the sun downunder
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What are we going to do down here?

Most Australians don't understand English now, what hope for the future


FrankW Ex Speedmaster rider, went to the Dark Side now riding an America.
Re: Revision of English Spelling
dollarbill #508004 12/16/2012 2:32 PM
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Hmmm, dublplus good nuspeek!


Let's hope there's intelligent life somewhere in space 'cause it's buggar all down here. -- Monte Python

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