 I couldn't think of a name for this thread.
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Second Wind
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Second Wind
Joined: Sep 2010
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You're going laugh out loud when you read these stories:
A DC 'airport ticket agent' offers some examples of why the US is in so much trouble!
1. I had a New Hampshire Congresswoman (Carol Shea-Porter) ask for an aisle seat so that her hair wouldn't get messed up by being near the window. (On an airplane!)
2. I got a call from a Kansas Congressman's (Moore) staffer (Howard Bauleke), who wanted to go to Cape Town. I started to explain the length of the flight and the passport information, and then he interrupted me with, ‘I'm not trying to make you look stupid, but Cape Town is in Massachusetts ..''
Without trying to make him look stupid, I calmly explained, ''Cape Cod is in Massachusetts , Cape Town is in South Africa ..'' His response -- click..
3. A senior Vermont Congressman (Bernie Sanders) called, furious about a Florida package we did. I asked what was wrong with the vacation in Orlando . He said he was expecting an ocean-view room. I tried to explain that's not possible, since Orlando is in the middle of the state.
He replied, 'Don't lie to me!, I looked on the map, and Florida is a very THIN state!!'' (OMG)
4. I got a call from a lawmaker's wife (Landra Reid) who asked, ''Is it possible to see England from Canada ?''
I said, ''No.''
She said, ''But they look so close on the map'' (OMG, again!)
5. An aide for a cabinet member (Janet Napolitano) once called and asked if he could rent a car in Dallas. I pulled up the reservation and noticed he had only a 1-hour layover in Dallas ... When I asked him why he wanted to rent a car, he said, ''I heard Dallas was a big airport, and we will need a car to drive between gates to save time.'' (Aghhhh)
6. An Illinois Congresswoman (Jan Schakowsky) called last week. She needed to know how it was possible that her flight from Detroit left at 8:30 a.m., and got to Chicago at 8:33 a.m.
I explained that Michigan was an hour ahead of Illinois, but she couldn't understand the concept of time zones. Finally, I told her the plane went fast, and she bought that.
7. A New York lawmaker, (Jerrold
Nadler) called and asked, ''Do airlines put your physical description on your bag so they know whose luggage belongs to whom?'' I said, 'No, why do you ask?'
He replied, ''Well, when I checked in with the airline, they put a tag on my luggage that said (FAT), and I'm overweight. I think that's very rude!''
After putting him on hold for a minute, while I looked into it. (I was dying laughing). I came back and explained the city code for Fresno , Ca. is (FAT - Fresno Air Terminal), and the airline was just putting a destination tag on his luggage..
8. A Senator John Kerry aide (Lindsay Ross) called to inquire about a trip package to Hawaii . After going over all the cost info, she asked, ''Would it be cheaper to fly to California and then take the train to Hawaii ?''
9. I just got off the phone with a freshman Congressman, Bobby Bright from Ala. who asked, ''How do I know which plane to get on?''
I asked him what exactly he meant, to which he replied, ''I was told my flight number is 823, but none of these planes have numbers on them.''
10 Senator Dianne Feinstein called and said, ''I need to fly to Pepsi-Cola , Florida . Do I have to get on one of those little computer planes?''
I asked if she meant fly to Pensacola and fly on a commuter plane.
She said, ''Yeah, whatever, smarty!''
11 Mary Landrieu, La. Senator, called and had a question about the documents she needed in order to fly to China . After a lengthy discussion about passports, I reminded her that she needed a visa. "Oh, no I don't. I've been to China many times and never had to have one of those.''
I double checked and sure enough, her stay required a visa. When I told her this she said, ''Look, I've been to China four times and every time they have accepted my American Express!''
12 A New Jersey Congressman (John Adler) called to make reservations, ''I want to go from Chicago to Rhino, New York .''
I was at a loss for words. Finally, I said, ''Are you sure that's the name of the town?''
'Yes, what flights do you have?'' replied the man.
After some searching, I came back with, ''I'm sorry, sir, I've looked up every airport code in the country and can't find a rhino anywhere."
''The man retorted, ''Oh, don't be silly! Everyone knows where it is. Check your map!''
So I scoured a map of the state of New York and finally offered, ''You don't mean Buffalo , do you?''
The reply? ''Whatever! I knew it was a big animal.''
Now you know why the Government is in the shape it's in!
Could ANYONE be this DUMB? YES, THEY WALK AMONG US, ARE IN POLITICS, AND THEY CONTINUE TO BREED.
I don't write it, I just offer it for your consideration.
I have no faith in human perfectability. I think that human exertion will have no appreciable effect upon humanity. Man is now only more active - not more happy - nor more wise, than he was 6000 years ago.
Edgar Allan Poe
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How about dumb and dumber.....
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Joined: Dec 2007
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Re: How about dumb and dumber.....
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Learned Hand
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Learned Hand
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That was great! How bout "Loco's Loonies, Legislative Branch".
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Re: How about dumb and dumber.....
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Worn Saddle
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Worn Saddle
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Is this for REAL?!! If it is, I'm more worried than ever... 
Fidelis et Fortis
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Re: How about dumb and dumber.....
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Second Wind
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Second Wind
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I don't doubt anything after hearing one on the news being concerned that putting more troops on Guam could capsize the island. Along with many many other gaffes I have heard them spew on the news.
I have no faith in human perfectability. I think that human exertion will have no appreciable effect upon humanity. Man is now only more active - not more happy - nor more wise, than he was 6000 years ago.
Edgar Allan Poe
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Re: How about dumb and dumber.....
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Please don't let this be real...for the love of everything good in this country...don't let this be real...
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Re: I couldn't think of a name for this thread.
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Joined: Feb 2005
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Fe Butt
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Fe Butt
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Quote:
And there's always her position on Freedonia and the statement that we "need to take immediate action to help the people of Freedonia".
Sounds like Corrine done been watchin' WAY too many Marx Brothers movies!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dsw9jYU_rJI
(...OH, and btw...after over thirty years in the airline biz, many of them in a customer service position, TRUST ME here, NOTHIN' in this thread surprised me in the LEAST...and trust me AGAIN, the Politicos are just a drop in the freakin' BUCKET compared to the average airline customer today...yep, it's like a sizable percentage of 'em leave their freakin' brains AT HOME once they take off for the airport!!!)
Yep! Just like a good Single Malt Scotch, you might call me "an acquired taste" TOO.(among the many OTHER things you may care to call me, of course)
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Re: I couldn't think of a name for this thread.
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Loquacious
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Loquacious
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Quote:
(...OH, and btw...after over thirty years in the airline biz, many of them in a customer service position, TRUST ME here, NOTHIN' in this thread surprised me in the LEAST...and trust me AGAIN, the Politicos are just a drop in the freakin' BUCKET compared to the average airline customer today...yep, it's like a sizable percentage of 'em leave their freakin' brains AT HOME once they take off for the airport!!!)
Could it be that their just tryin' their best to "level the playin' field"? 
And you may see me tonight
With an illegal smile
J. Prine
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Re: I couldn't think of a name for this thread.
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Fe Butt
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Fe Butt
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Oh, and btw AGAIN...years ago when I began my airline "career", I was a reservation agent for TWA, and I once had some moron call up and say he "wanted to fly to Africa". I then told him that that's a big place and asked him which city in Africa he might be talkin' about. His response was..."Well, what's the CAPITAL of Africa?" (...that was when I did the same thing as this airline employee in this thread did..I hit the "hold button" on my phone, and started bustin' up BIG TIME as I stood up and told my fellow Res Agents sittin' around me what this moron had just asked me!!!)
Yep! Just like a good Single Malt Scotch, you might call me "an acquired taste" TOO.(among the many OTHER things you may care to call me, of course)
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Re: I couldn't think of a name for this thread.
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Loquacious
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Loquacious
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I can see from the "Who's online" that it's coming!
And you may see me tonight
With an illegal smile
J. Prine
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Re: I couldn't think of a name for this thread.
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Joined: Feb 2005
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Fe Butt
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Fe Butt
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Quote:
Quote:
(...OH, and btw...after over thirty years in the airline biz, many of them in a customer service position, TRUST ME here, NOTHIN' in this thread surprised me in the LEAST...and trust me AGAIN, the Politicos are just a drop in the freakin' BUCKET compared to the average airline customer today...yep, it's like a sizable percentage of 'em leave their freakin' brains AT HOME once they take off for the airport!!!)
Could it be that their just tryin' their best to "level the playin' field"?
 Good one, erle.
But trust me AGAIN here. While admittedly during my airline "career" I DID work with some REAL "dim bulbs", SOMETIMES some of the CUSTOMERS would make THEM look like regular freakin' EINSTEINS in comparison!
Yep! Just like a good Single Malt Scotch, you might call me "an acquired taste" TOO.(among the many OTHER things you may care to call me, of course)
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Re: I couldn't think of a name for this thread.
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Joined: Sep 2010
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Second Wind
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Second Wind
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Leaders of the country should be a little bit more ......shall we say sharp than the average Joe Public. A little more edumacated, schoo-ed even, in the geography and cuocher of the peepels, an cuntry, they tryin to guvern.
What do I know though, right. I'm embarassed to know these people go to other nations and repesent us. They must be the reason most people from other countries think Americans are stupid.
I have no faith in human perfectability. I think that human exertion will have no appreciable effect upon humanity. Man is now only more active - not more happy - nor more wise, than he was 6000 years ago.
Edgar Allan Poe
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Re: I couldn't think of a name for this thread.
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Oil Expert
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I've seen all those quotes before but they were attributed to different people.
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Re: I couldn't think of a name for this thread.
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Fe Butt
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Fe Butt
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C'mon now, Chad! ANYONE with an IQ of over 115 knows better than to enter POLITICS!!! And btw AGAIN...have you ever watched the quiz show Jeopardy during the time they run their little "Celebrity" or "Political Movers and Shakers" special week? And, IF ya HAVE, did you happen to notice that approximately 78.9% of 'em are, well, pretty darn CLUELESS up there behind their little podium?! AND, not only THAT, but they EVEN dumb-down the freakin' QUESTIONS for 'em TOO!!! (...I rest my case!)
Yep! Just like a good Single Malt Scotch, you might call me "an acquired taste" TOO.(among the many OTHER things you may care to call me, of course)
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Re: How about dumb and dumber.....
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And they breathe our air and procreate!!
Very scary
Have a heart that never hardens, a temper that never tires, a touch that never hurts. - Charles Dickens
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Re: How about dumb and dumber.....
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Loquacious
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Loquacious
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Geography, not a strong suit.  Just cause you can afford to travel does not mean you know anything about where you are going.
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Re: I couldn't think of a name for this thread.
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Worn Saddle
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Worn Saddle
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Quote:
His response was..."Well, what's the CAPITAL of Africa?"
(...that was when I did the same thing as this airline employee in this thread did..I hit the "hold button" on my phone, and started bustin' up BIG TIME as I stood up and told my fellow Res Agents sittin' around me what this moron had just asked me!!!)
So, are ya gonna tell me the name of the capital OR NOT?! (Sheesh, I hate an unfinished thread.)
Fidelis et Fortis
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Re: I couldn't think of a name for this thread.
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Old Hand
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Old Hand
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Umm, Rhodesia maybe? Or is it Capetown? Oh wait, I got it, Motown.
Let's hope there's intelligent life somewhere in space 'cause it's buggar all down here. -- Monte Python
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Re: I couldn't think of a name for this thread.
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Learned Hand
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Learned Hand
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Quote:
Umm, Rhodesia maybe? Or is it Capetown? Oh wait, I got it, Motown.
Nooo, It can't be MOEtown, he lives in FL. Duh.
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Re: I couldn't think of a name for this thread.
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Loquacious
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Loquacious
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Quote:
Quote:
His response was..."Well, what's the CAPITAL of Africa?"
(...that was when I did the same thing as this airline employee in this thread did..I hit the "hold button" on my phone, and started bustin' up BIG TIME as I stood up and told my fellow Res Agents sittin' around me what this moron had just asked me!!!)
So, are ya gonna tell me the name of the capital OR NOT?! (Sheesh, I hate an unfinished thread.)
It's "A", dummies!
Sheesh! 
And you may see me tonight
With an illegal smile
J. Prine
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Re: I couldn't think of a name for this thread.
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Joined: Sep 2010
Posts: 8,393 Likes: 1
Second Wind
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Second Wind
Joined: Sep 2010
Posts: 8,393 Likes: 1 |
Isn't Toto the capital of Africa.
I have no faith in human perfectability. I think that human exertion will have no appreciable effect upon humanity. Man is now only more active - not more happy - nor more wise, than he was 6000 years ago.
Edgar Allan Poe
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Re: I couldn't think of a name for this thread.
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Loquacious
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Loquacious
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 Idiocracy.....! and don't forget the congressman that asked the head of the Marine Corps , if we put to many Marines on Guam, it might cause the island to tip over ! The movie Idiocracy was a documentary not a future set comedy,,, 
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Re: I couldn't think of a name for this thread.
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3/4 Throttle
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Karl
Independence, MO
'07 America, Cinnamon Girl (aka: Black Beauty) - Sit Down, Shut Up & Hang On
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Re: I couldn't think of a name for this thread.
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Learned Hand
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Learned Hand
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My favorite quote from Idiocracy: "Joe: Man, I could really go for a Starbucks, you know. Frito: Yeah, we'll I really don't think we have time for a hand job, Joe." Sorry for the derailment, but I couldn't help myself. 
~Brent
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"Nothing you can be is more terrible than what I am." ~ 2007 Black Speedmaster!!
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Re: I couldn't think of a name for this thread.
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My favorite gag from Idiocracy is 
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Re: I couldn't think of a name for this thread.
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Learned Hand
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Learned Hand
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Chad, I noticed you changed your sig... sorry, I've been out a while... But I thought of you when I saw this one... 
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Re: I couldn't think of a name for this thread.
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Well it's nice to know your politicians are just as incompetent as the dick heads we've got over here! 
I'd rather ride it than clean it!!!!
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Re: I couldn't think of a name for this thread.
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Second Wind
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Second Wind
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Well Garf, I think its a pandemic. I got rid of my TV because there is nothing entertaining on it anymore. Idiocy seemed to be the only thing that spewed forth from it. Even the news is no longer believable, because they load it so full of opinion, they even make up large bits of it. Everyone has an agenda it seems now days, and they have to publicise it.
I watched a Youtube video the other day where a couple of fellows took to an environmental awareness rally, to see what was up. They made a petition to have hydrogendioxcide banned and everyone at the rally they asked to sign the petition did it without question. Thats H2O or water. They blindly signed a petition to have a federal ban on water.
I have no faith in human perfectability. I think that human exertion will have no appreciable effect upon humanity. Man is now only more active - not more happy - nor more wise, than he was 6000 years ago.
Edgar Allan Poe
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Re: I couldn't think of a name for this thread.
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Monkey Butt
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Monkey Butt
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Quote:
Well Garf, I think its a pandemic. I got rid of my TV because there is nothing entertaining on it anymore. Idiocy seemed to be the only thing that spewed forth from it. Even the news is no longer believable, because they load it so full of opinion, they even make up large bits of it. Everyone has an agenda it seems now days, and they have to publicise it.
I watched a Youtube video the other day where a couple of fellows took to an environmental awareness rally, to see what was up. They made a petition to have hydrogendioxcide banned and everyone at the rally they asked to sign the petition did it without question. Thats H2O or water. They blindly signed a petition to have a federal ban on water.
At a certain political convention a guy went around getting delegates to to tell why (on tape) they were in favor of a ban on all corporate profits.
We all like to think of ourselves as rugged individualists. But when push comes to shove most of us are sheep who do what we are told. Worst of all, a lot of us become unpaid agents of whoever is controlling the agenda by enforcing the current dogma on the few rugged individualists who actually exist.
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Re: I couldn't think of a name for this thread.
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New Tires
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New Tires
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Quote:
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Well Garf, I think its a pandemic. I got rid of my TV because there is nothing entertaining on it anymore. Idiocy seemed to be the only thing that spewed forth from it. Even the news is no longer believable, because they load it so full of opinion, they even make up large bits of it. Everyone has an agenda it seems now days, and they have to publicise it.
I watched a Youtube video the other day where a couple of fellows took to an environmental awareness rally, to see what was up. They made a petition to have hydrogendioxcide banned and everyone at the rally they asked to sign the petition did it without question. Thats H2O or water. They blindly signed a petition to have a federal ban on water.
At a certain political convention a guy went around getting delegates to to tell why (on tape) they were in favor of a ban on all corporate profits.
I always watch both conventions on C-SPAN, no opinion filters, spin or embargos of the speeches by "news" programs. Since the conventions are in English, I need no interpreters.
Every normal man must be tempted, at times, to spit on his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin slitting throats.
H. L. Mencken
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Re: I couldn't think of a name for this thread.
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Joined: Sep 2010
Posts: 8,393 Likes: 1
Second Wind
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Second Wind
Joined: Sep 2010
Posts: 8,393 Likes: 1 |
Quote:
Quote:
Well Garf, I think its a pandemic. I got rid of my TV because there is nothing entertaining on it anymore. Idiocy seemed to be the only thing that spewed forth from it. Even the news is no longer believable, because they load it so full of opinion, they even make up large bits of it. Everyone has an agenda it seems now days, and they have to publicise it.
I watched a Youtube video the other day where a couple of fellows took to an environmental awareness rally, to see what was up. They made a petition to have hydrogendioxcide banned and everyone at the rally they asked to sign the petition did it without question. Thats H2O or water. They blindly signed a petition to have a federal ban on water.
At a certain political convention a guy went around getting delegates to to tell why (on tape) they were in favor of a ban on all corporate profits.
Yet, we have a certain fellow in office who upon election, his net worth was a little over a million dollars. Now not quite four years later this fellows net worth is a little over eleven million dollars. The job don't pay that much. And how did he find the time to be that personally industrious, while taking upon his plate the enormous duty of public office? Ten million dollars net gain in less than four years is a fantastc gain.
I have no faith in human perfectability. I think that human exertion will have no appreciable effect upon humanity. Man is now only more active - not more happy - nor more wise, than he was 6000 years ago.
Edgar Allan Poe
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Re: I couldn't think of a name for this thread.
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Joined: Feb 2011
Posts: 2,146
Oil Expert
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Oil Expert
Joined: Feb 2011
Posts: 2,146 |
Quote:
Quote:
Quote:
Well Garf, I think its a pandemic. I got rid of my TV because there is nothing entertaining on it anymore. Idiocy seemed to be the only thing that spewed forth from it. Even the news is no longer believable, because they load it so full of opinion, they even make up large bits of it. Everyone has an agenda it seems now days, and they have to publicise it.
I watched a Youtube video the other day where a couple of fellows took to an environmental awareness rally, to see what was up. They made a petition to have hydrogendioxcide banned and everyone at the rally they asked to sign the petition did it without question. Thats H2O or water. They blindly signed a petition to have a federal ban on water.
At a certain political convention a guy went around getting delegates to to tell why (on tape) they were in favor of a ban on all corporate profits.
Yet, we have a certain fellow in office who upon election, his net worth was a little over a million dollars. Now not quite four years later this fellows net worth is a little over eleven million dollars. The job don't pay that much. And how did he find the time to be that personally industrious, while taking upon his plate the enormous duty of public office? Ten million dollars net gain in less than four years is a fantastc gain.
I checked that one and it didn't pan out on some fact check sites. Where'd you come up with that?
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Re: I couldn't think of a name for this thread.
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Oil Expert
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That being said, if it had been true it would probably make him the poorest 50+ year old former president of the Harvard Law Review out there.
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Re: I couldn't think of a name for this thread.
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New Tires
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New Tires
Joined: Dec 2006
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Quote:
Quote:
Quote:
Well Garf, I think its a pandemic. I got rid of my TV because there is nothing entertaining on it anymore. Idiocy seemed to be the only thing that spewed forth from it. Even the news is no longer believable, because they load it so full of opinion, they even make up large bits of it. Everyone has an agenda it seems now days, and they have to publicise it.
I watched a Youtube video the other day where a couple of fellows took to an environmental awareness rally, to see what was up. They made a petition to have hydrogendioxcide banned and everyone at the rally they asked to sign the petition did it without question. Thats H2O or water. They blindly signed a petition to have a federal ban on water.
At a certain political convention a guy went around getting delegates to to tell why (on tape) they were in favor of a ban on all corporate profits.
Yet, we have a certain fellow in office who upon election, his net worth was a little over a million dollars. Now not quite four years later this fellows net worth is a little over eleven million dollars. The job don't pay that much. And how did he find the time to be that personally industrious, while taking upon his plate the enormous duty of public office? Ten million dollars net gain in less than four years is a fantastc gain.
It doesn't matter if it's true or not, considering all the money that's been created in the last three years, QE1, QE2 and soon QE3, that $10 million will only be worth a million. So, he would only be staying even.
Every normal man must be tempted, at times, to spit on his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin slitting throats.
H. L. Mencken
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Re: I couldn't think of a name for this thread.
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Posts: 8,393 Likes: 1
Second Wind
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Second Wind
Joined: Sep 2010
Posts: 8,393 Likes: 1 |
I don't know how you checked. I didn't say who. Maybe its not who you think it is. I weren't speaking of any president.
If it were he would certainly be the poorest president in recent history. Which I quess makes another point. If they are so against private corporation profits, How are they so rich? I can't think of any other way of getting rich.
I have no faith in human perfectability. I think that human exertion will have no appreciable effect upon humanity. Man is now only more active - not more happy - nor more wise, than he was 6000 years ago.
Edgar Allan Poe
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Re: I couldn't think of a name for this thread.
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Joined: Feb 2011
Posts: 2,146
Oil Expert
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Oil Expert
Joined: Feb 2011
Posts: 2,146 |
You are correct. My mistake and my apologies.
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Re: I couldn't think of a name for this thread.
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Joined: Sep 2010
Posts: 8,393 Likes: 1
Second Wind
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OP
Second Wind
Joined: Sep 2010
Posts: 8,393 Likes: 1 |
Its not a problem. With this particular political season at hand its easy to get caught up.
I have no faith in human perfectability. I think that human exertion will have no appreciable effect upon humanity. Man is now only more active - not more happy - nor more wise, than he was 6000 years ago.
Edgar Allan Poe
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Re: I couldn't think of a name for this thread.
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Joined: Sep 2010
Posts: 8,393 Likes: 1
Second Wind
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OP
Second Wind
Joined: Sep 2010
Posts: 8,393 Likes: 1 |
You got me curious so I did some looking and the fellow of who you speak is not easily pinned down they have him every where from 5million to 12 million.
I have no faith in human perfectability. I think that human exertion will have no appreciable effect upon humanity. Man is now only more active - not more happy - nor more wise, than he was 6000 years ago.
Edgar Allan Poe
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Re: I couldn't think of a name for this thread.
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Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 530
Adjunct
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Adjunct
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 530 |
I thought you lived in the UK?
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