 A real woman is a man’s best friend
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Joined: May 2006
Posts: 525
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OP
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Joined: May 2006
Posts: 525 |
A real woman is a man’s best friend.
She will never stand him up and never let him down.
She will reassure him when he feels insecure and comfort him after a bad day.
She will inspire him to do things he never thought he could do; To live without fear and forget regret.
She will enable him to express his deepest emotions and give in to his most intimate desires.
She will make sure he always feels as though he’s the most handsome man in the room and will enable him to be the most confident, sexy, seductive and invincible…
No, wait… sorry, I’m thinking of whiskey. It’s whiskey that does all that crap. Never mind.
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Re: A real woman is a man’s best friend
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Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 7,028 Likes: 8
New Tires
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New Tires
Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 7,028 Likes: 8 |
 Whiskey and a good dog, I get by with a little help from my fiends.
Every normal man must be tempted, at times, to spit on his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin slitting throats.
H. L. Mencken
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Re: A real woman is a man’s best friend
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Joined: Mar 2005
Posts: 2,419
Oil Expert
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Oil Expert
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I was reading that and was thinking the author is deluded, has he ever even met a woman!!! ... then the punch line cracked me up.
Cheers, Richard
~~~~~~~~~~~~
09 America, Staintune Pipes, K&N, Breathe, Hagon Nitros, AI & O2 removed, tune 20184 (modified), MTX-L a/f gauge
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Re: A real woman is a man’s best friend
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Joined: Sep 2010
Posts: 322
Adjunct
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Adjunct
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im drinking whiskey right now, and im stealing this...
"stupid's in the water these days, they're gonna drink it anyways, until they don't know right from wrong..."
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Re: A real woman is a man’s best friend
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Joined: Aug 2009
Posts: 1,669
Learned Hand
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Learned Hand
Joined: Aug 2009
Posts: 1,669 |
What about a woman that brings you Whiskey?
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Re: A real woman is a man’s best friend
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Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 7,629 Likes: 7
Monkey Butt
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Monkey Butt
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 7,629 Likes: 7 |
A woman drove me to drink and I didn't even have the decency to thank her. - W. C. Fields
We all like to think of ourselves as rugged individualists. But when push comes to shove most of us are sheep who do what we are told. Worst of all, a lot of us become unpaid agents of whoever is controlling the agenda by enforcing the current dogma on the few rugged individualists who actually exist.
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Re: A real woman is a man’s best friend
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Joined: Nov 2009
Posts: 713
Adjunct
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Adjunct
Joined: Nov 2009
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Have a heart that never hardens, a temper that never tires, a touch that never hurts. - Charles Dickens
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Re: A real woman is a man’s best friend
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Joined: Feb 2011
Posts: 2,146
Oil Expert
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Oil Expert
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I have an incredible wife AND plentiful good whiskey.
A good dog, too.
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Re: A real woman is a man’s best friend
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Joined: Aug 2009
Posts: 1,669
Learned Hand
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Learned Hand
Joined: Aug 2009
Posts: 1,669 |
WhiskEy or whisky. Is the reason Dwight drinks Scotch, or does the Scotch explain his intolerance of words with superfluous letters?  Anyway 
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Re: A real woman is a man’s best friend
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Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 1,836 Likes: 5
Learned Hand
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Learned Hand
Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 1,836 Likes: 5 |
Quote:
Whiskey and a good dog, I get by with a little help from my fiends.
Let's not forget a cigar. And lastly, one might then add any woman who can tolerate a man who reeks of wet dog, whiskey, and cigar.
2004 Triumph Speedmaster (J Lo) 2006 Yamaha Stratoliner (Adele)
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Re: A real woman is a man’s best friend
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Joined: Sep 2010
Posts: 8,393 Likes: 1
Second Wind
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Second Wind
Joined: Sep 2010
Posts: 8,393 Likes: 1 |
Must be an imaginary woman.
I have no faith in human perfectability. I think that human exertion will have no appreciable effect upon humanity. Man is now only more active - not more happy - nor more wise, than he was 6000 years ago.
Edgar Allan Poe
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Re: A real woman is a man’s best friend
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Joined: Nov 2009
Posts: 713
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Adjunct
Joined: Nov 2009
Posts: 713 |
No we're out here Locopony, I can assure you.
Have a heart that never hardens, a temper that never tires, a touch that never hurts. - Charles Dickens
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Re: A real woman is a man’s best friend
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Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 20,096 Likes: 2
Fe Butt
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Fe Butt
Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 20,096 Likes: 2 |
Quote:
WhiskEy or whisky. Is the reason Dwight drinks Scotch, or does the Scotch explain his intolerance of words with superfluous letters?
Anyway
Yep Matt, you've got it!
(...my motto...well, at least ANOTHER of my mottos has always been: "Consistency counts for SOMETHIN' in this world, ya know!") 
Yep! Just like a good Single Malt Scotch, you might call me "an acquired taste" TOO.(among the many OTHER things you may care to call me, of course)
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Re: A real woman is a man’s best friend
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Joined: Sep 2010
Posts: 8,393 Likes: 1
Second Wind
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Second Wind
Joined: Sep 2010
Posts: 8,393 Likes: 1 |
I can honestly say that most of the resentments in my life have had something to do with a woman. At least half of them anyway. Nearly all the drama in my life has been due to a woman.
I have no faith in human perfectability. I think that human exertion will have no appreciable effect upon humanity. Man is now only more active - not more happy - nor more wise, than he was 6000 years ago.
Edgar Allan Poe
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Re: A real woman is a man’s best friend
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Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 7,028 Likes: 8
New Tires
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New Tires
Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 7,028 Likes: 8 |
Quote:
I can honestly say that most of the resentments in my life have had something to do with a woman. At least half of them anyway. Nearly all the drama in my life has been due to a woman.
And most bar fights.
Every normal man must be tempted, at times, to spit on his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin slitting throats.
H. L. Mencken
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Re: A real woman is a man’s best friend
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Joined: Sep 2010
Posts: 8,393 Likes: 1
Second Wind
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Second Wind
Joined: Sep 2010
Posts: 8,393 Likes: 1 |
No I can say I learned the first time on that one. You can't win like that. If you kick his butt she has sympathy for him and you are a jerk. If you are like me you aint gonna quit till ya win. So you lose because you win.
I have no faith in human perfectability. I think that human exertion will have no appreciable effect upon humanity. Man is now only more active - not more happy - nor more wise, than he was 6000 years ago.
Edgar Allan Poe
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Re: A real woman is a man’s best friend
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Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 20,096 Likes: 2
Fe Butt
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Fe Butt
Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 20,096 Likes: 2 |
Quote:
I can honestly say that most of the resentments in my life have had something to do with a woman. At least half of them anyway. Nearly all the drama in my life has been due to a woman.
WOW Chad! After THIS statement, I THINK I have the PERFECT song for ya here to describe the "angst" you must feel...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8a_T3U1rg2I
Yep! Just like a good Single Malt Scotch, you might call me "an acquired taste" TOO.(among the many OTHER things you may care to call me, of course)
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Re: A real woman is a man’s best friend
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Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 3,937
Loquacious
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Loquacious
Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 3,937 |
Quote:
Quote:
I can honestly say that most of the resentments in my life have had something to do with a woman. At least half of them anyway. Nearly all the drama in my life has been due to a woman.
WOW Chad! After THIS statement, I THINK I have the PERFECT song for ya here to describe the "angst" you must feel...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8a_T3U1rg2I
Or G N' R
"used to lover her"
And you may see me tonight
With an illegal smile
J. Prine
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Re: A real woman is a man’s best friend
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Joined: Feb 2011
Posts: 2,146
Oil Expert
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Oil Expert
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How about a best friend that is a 2nd degree black belt in TKD as well as a kickboxing instructor, owns 2 motorcycles including the sweetest Bonneville you've ever seen, rides mountain bikes when they're not motorcycling, likes camping even more than you do, never talks bull$hit, loves adventure travel to weird places in the middle of nowhere that require 15 mile hikes, only wants to live in a log cabin, wouldn't go on a Carnival cruise on a bet but would parasail to a deserted island and forage for food, can't spoil you enough (which is cool because she makes boatloads of money), has a 36" inseam and is smokin' hot?
That, my friends, is why I am perfectly content to live out my life in my tube in the Matrix. I know this probably can't real but it is a damn fine illusion. Either that or I was frickin' Ghandi in a previous life.
Whatever.
I don't care.
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Re: A real woman is a man’s best friend
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Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 20,096 Likes: 2
Fe Butt
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Fe Butt
Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 20,096 Likes: 2 |
Ya know guys, once I saw the title of this thread, I just KNEW there would EVENTUALLY be a "Love Letter" posted in it that would be postmarked from "Western NC"!!! (...yes yes, Chet...you live "The Life of Riley"...I THINK we all know that by now, ol' buddy!)
Yep! Just like a good Single Malt Scotch, you might call me "an acquired taste" TOO.(among the many OTHER things you may care to call me, of course)
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Re: A real woman is a man’s best friend
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Joined: Feb 2011
Posts: 2,146
Oil Expert
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Oil Expert
Joined: Feb 2011
Posts: 2,146 |
That Riley guy must have big guns and a sack full of...well, you know.
I know. I'm a sap. But it's all too good. If it goes to $hit I'm a goner. I'm the poster child for for STFU.
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Re: A real woman is a man’s best friend
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Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 7,028 Likes: 8
New Tires
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New Tires
Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 7,028 Likes: 8 |
Nothing wrong with being lucky in love, ole man.
Every normal man must be tempted, at times, to spit on his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin slitting throats.
H. L. Mencken
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Re: A real woman is a man’s best friend
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Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 20,096 Likes: 2
Fe Butt
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Fe Butt
Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 20,096 Likes: 2 |
Nah, just joshin' ya a bit, that's all.
(...actually I would MUCH rather read about a successful marriage, than read all the bellyachin' some guys wanna do about their Ex's...'cause in those second cases, ALL I wanna do is say somethin' to 'em like, "Well Moron! YOU married her!")
Yep! Just like a good Single Malt Scotch, you might call me "an acquired taste" TOO.(among the many OTHER things you may care to call me, of course)
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Re: A real woman is a man’s best friend
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Joined: Feb 2011
Posts: 2,146
Oil Expert
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Oil Expert
Joined: Feb 2011
Posts: 2,146 |
OK, I did have to kill the first couple but I have high hopes for this one.
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Re: A real woman is a man’s best friend
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Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 6,821
Bar Shake
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Bar Shake
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 6,821 |
Quote:
Quote:
Quote:
I can honestly say that most of the resentments in my life have had something to do with a woman. At least half of them anyway. Nearly all the drama in my life has been due to a woman.
WOW Chad! After THIS statement, I THINK I have the PERFECT song for ya here to describe the "angst" you must feel...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8a_T3U1rg2I
Or G N' R
"used to lover her"
I had the same thought.
Here ya go.
G.N.R.
Contra todo mal, mezcal; contra todo bien, también
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Re: A real woman is a man’s best friend
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Joined: Sep 2010
Posts: 8,393 Likes: 1
Second Wind
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Second Wind
Joined: Sep 2010
Posts: 8,393 Likes: 1 |
Women are like rose bushes covered in flowers. You see them, they look good but if ya get too close they claw, scratch, and snagg your clothes. They hang on for dear life and rip you to shredds if ya try to get away. So its tear away at cost of flesh and blood, or die in its strangling embrace of flesh rending razor claws.
I have no faith in human perfectability. I think that human exertion will have no appreciable effect upon humanity. Man is now only more active - not more happy - nor more wise, than he was 6000 years ago.
Edgar Allan Poe
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Re: A real woman is a man’s best friend
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Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 6,821
Bar Shake
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Bar Shake
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 6,821 |
Almost poetic there Chad. Sorry that's been your experience, but from others that I know it's not unique  That has definitely not been my experience as I've been married for 35 years to a delightful woman 
Contra todo mal, mezcal; contra todo bien, también
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Re: A real woman is a man’s best friend
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Joined: Sep 2010
Posts: 8,393 Likes: 1
Second Wind
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Second Wind
Joined: Sep 2010
Posts: 8,393 Likes: 1 |
Woman is the most fiendish instrument of torture ever devised to bedevil the days of man.
I have no faith in human perfectability. I think that human exertion will have no appreciable effect upon humanity. Man is now only more active - not more happy - nor more wise, than he was 6000 years ago.
Edgar Allan Poe
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Re: A real woman is a man’s best friend
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Joined: Feb 2011
Posts: 2,146
Oil Expert
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Oil Expert
Joined: Feb 2011
Posts: 2,146 |
Quote:
Woman is the most fiendish instrument of torture ever devised to bedevil the days of man.
Sure, but there can be a downside, too.
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Re: A real woman is a man’s best friend
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Joined: Sep 2010
Posts: 8,393 Likes: 1
Second Wind
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Second Wind
Joined: Sep 2010
Posts: 8,393 Likes: 1 |
In short, I wish I didn't know now what I didn't know then.
I have no faith in human perfectability. I think that human exertion will have no appreciable effect upon humanity. Man is now only more active - not more happy - nor more wise, than he was 6000 years ago.
Edgar Allan Poe
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Re: A real woman is a man’s best friend
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Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 12,964
Stickman Yogi
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Stickman Yogi
Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 12,964 |
Quote:
How about a best friend that is a 2nd degree black belt in TKD as well as a kickboxing instructor, owns 2 motorcycles including the sweetest Bonneville you've ever seen, rides mountain bikes when they're not motorcycling, likes camping even more than you do, never talks bull$hit, loves adventure travel to weird places in the middle of nowhere that require 15 mile hikes, only wants to live in a log cabin, wouldn't go on a Carnival cruise on a bet but would parasail to a deserted island and forage for food, can't spoil you enough (which is cool because she makes boatloads of money), has a 36" inseam and is smokin' hot?
That, my friends, is why I am perfectly content to live out my life in my tube in the Matrix. I know this probably can't real but it is a damn fine illusion. Either that or I was frickin' Ghandi in a previous life.
Whatever.
I don't care.
WOW! Nothing but respect. The next time you return to Super Natural BC, I want to meet you two!!! 
Live to love, love to live.
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Re: A real woman is a man’s best friend
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Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 3,937
Loquacious
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Loquacious
Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 3,937 |
Quote:
Quote:
How about a best friend that is a 2nd degree black belt in TKD as well as a kickboxing instructor, owns 2 motorcycles including the sweetest Bonneville you've ever seen, rides mountain bikes when they're not motorcycling, likes camping even more than you do, never talks bull$hit, loves adventure travel to weird places in the middle of nowhere that require 15 mile hikes, only wants to live in a log cabin, wouldn't go on a Carnival cruise on a bet but would parasail to a deserted island and forage for food, can't spoil you enough (which is cool because she makes boatloads of money), has a 36" inseam and is smokin' hot?
That, my friends, is why I am perfectly content to live out my life in my tube in the Matrix. I know this probably can't real but it is a damn fine illusion. Either that or I was frickin' Ghandi in a previous life.
Whatever.
I don't care.
WOW! Nothing but respect. The next time you return to Super Natural BC, I want to meet you two!!!
He's GOT to live in a cardboard box, in an alley in the city, and certainly delusional. 
Now CHAD on the other hand, we need to take up donations for his care. 
(I'm thinkin' a good ol' romp with one of "Tiger-bloods" girls would either snap him out of it, OR push him over the edge!)
Peace.
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Re: A real woman is a man’s best friend
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Joined: Feb 2011
Posts: 2,146
Oil Expert
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Oil Expert
Joined: Feb 2011
Posts: 2,146 |
Quote:
Quote:
Quote:
How about a best friend that is a 2nd degree black belt in TKD as well as a kickboxing instructor, owns 2 motorcycles including the sweetest Bonneville you've ever seen, rides mountain bikes when they're not motorcycling, likes camping even more than you do, never talks bull$hit, loves adventure travel to weird places in the middle of nowhere that require 15 mile hikes, only wants to live in a log cabin, wouldn't go on a Carnival cruise on a bet but would parasail to a deserted island and forage for food, can't spoil you enough (which is cool because she makes boatloads of money), has a 36" inseam and is smokin' hot?
That, my friends, is why I am perfectly content to live out my life in my tube in the Matrix. I know this probably can't real but it is a damn fine illusion. Either that or I was frickin' Ghandi in a previous life.
Whatever.
I don't care.
WOW! Nothing but respect. The next time you return to Super Natural BC, I want to meet you two!!!
He's GOT to live in a cardboard box, in an alley in the city, and certainly delusional.
Entirely possible.
I don't care. Don't change my meds.
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Re: A real woman is a man’s best friend
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Joined: Feb 2011
Posts: 2,146
Oil Expert
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Oil Expert
Joined: Feb 2011
Posts: 2,146 |
Quote:
Quote:
How about a best friend that is a 2nd degree black belt in TKD as well as a kickboxing instructor, owns 2 motorcycles including the sweetest Bonneville you've ever seen, rides mountain bikes when they're not motorcycling, likes camping even more than you do, never talks bull$hit, loves adventure travel to weird places in the middle of nowhere that require 15 mile hikes, only wants to live in a log cabin, wouldn't go on a Carnival cruise on a bet but would parasail to a deserted island and forage for food, can't spoil you enough (which is cool because she makes boatloads of money), has a 36" inseam and is smokin' hot?
That, my friends, is why I am perfectly content to live out my life in my tube in the Matrix. I know this probably can't real but it is a damn fine illusion. Either that or I was frickin' Ghandi in a previous life.
Whatever.
I don't care.
WOW! Nothing but respect. The next time you return to Super Natural BC, I want to meet you two!!!
Keith, when I look at the possible (albeit unlikely) political changes at the top around here I look for greener pastures to relocate. BC is at the top of the list but I just don't think I could afford the places warm enough for me to survive. I absolutely LOVE where I live but, my goodness, BC is awesome.
It's kinda like the old joke, "You know how to make a small fortune in BC? Well, you off with a BIG fortune..."
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Re: A real woman is a man’s best friend
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Joined: Sep 2010
Posts: 8,393 Likes: 1
Second Wind
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Second Wind
Joined: Sep 2010
Posts: 8,393 Likes: 1 |
I think the problem is a matter of definition. You see love is a matter of degrees of how much torcher, pain, and suffering you are will to endure, at the hands of or on the account of said "loved" one.
So when I here someone say stuf like, "I want to fall in love one day". I hear, "I want to slip the leash of self preservation, and sanity to suffer greatly at the hands of someone one day. Because I have a sociopathic need to live codependantly with another who, also has a sociopathic need to live codependantly".
I have no faith in human perfectability. I think that human exertion will have no appreciable effect upon humanity. Man is now only more active - not more happy - nor more wise, than he was 6000 years ago.
Edgar Allan Poe
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