Have a mate called Bill around the corner who has 4 HD showbikes plus a 76 Bonny that he has restored. About 6 months ago Bill had a new neighbor called Biff move in next to him. Biff is one of those guys who has owned and done everything better than whatever you can come up with and drives Bill crazy! About 4 weeks back Bill bought a 05 Fat boy that he intended to onsell and make a few bucks. To his dismay who should turn up as the buyer but Biff and made him an offer he could not refuse. Never one to miss an opportunity I have drafted up the following to put in letter form in Bills mailbox tonight under the cover of darkness.TO THE HOUSEHOLDERS
In my capacity as President of the newly formed Bongaree ‘Ban the Biff” Society it is my duty to inform you of the following. A very strong rumour persists that a new outlaw MC is being formed in your locality. We believe that the proposed group will be known as the “Pentas Punishers” and could be a sleeper club for groups such as the infamous ‘Rock Machine” out of Canada. Our members are alarmed and concerned that the new club will be quickly patched over by a group such as this.
We believe the proposed MC has the full support of the infamous over seventies electric scooter drag club known as the “Let it all hang out Brigade” who are based on the Island. This group of rebels are well known to locals and their latest outrage of riding over the Bribie bridge whilst standing upright on their scooters clad only in white tennis shoes and panama hats has been reported to the local police dept. A local vicar’s wife returning from choir practice in Caboolture had the misfortune to meet these hellions on the bridge and has suffered a nervous breakdown as a result. Needless to say the choir practice has been cancelled until further notice! Local authorities believe this group is holed up in the “Eden on Bribie” Rest Home and are conducting further enquiries in that area. They can be identified by the slogan on their scooters which reads “Death before it all sags too much”-all sightings should be reported to authorities. Their involvement in a local drug ring supplying milo laced with meth amphetamines’ to rest homes has been well documented and also under police investigation.
Reports have also surfaced that local residents are purchasing large powerful American motorcycles in readiness for when the MC hits the road so to speak. At present these are stored behind garage doors but our members are convinced that our peaceful area will soon be terrorised by the roar of American iron and the activities that these groups indulge in.
Our group would advise that locals should restrict the movements of teenage daughters and also improve security arrangements for liquor cabinets and hand guns.
The President
Bongaree “Ban the Biff “Society
