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Big Johnson Unveiled
#424900 02/06/2011 3:12 PM
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stevieB Offline OP
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At a press conference late Monday, the CEO of Johnson Marine, makers of Johnson outboard marine engines and other recreational equipment, unveiled a new line of heavyweight cruiser style motorcycles designed to compete head to head with industry leader Harley-Davidson.

Peter Long, Johnson brands marketing manager said, "We have studied the market and determined that Harley, while highly successful, has narrowly missed the mark when targeting motorcycle buyers". Long added, "We at Johnson are convinced that our product hits the target dead center and promises to draw sales away from Harley-Davidson in a way no other motorcycle has been able to accomplish".

The new line of bikes, marketed under the name Big Johnson Motorcycles, will, according to Long, deliver what Harley has only promised. "Our research show that this, a Big Johnson, is what Harley buyers are really after".

At the unveiling of the new line Monday, several current Harley owners agreed. "When I bought my Harley, what I really needed was a Big Johnson," said one Harley owner." But I see now that riding a Harley is no replacement for having a Big Johnson."

Manager Long also said that his company would follow the lead of Harley-Davidson and cash in on a huge market for non-motorcycle related products. "We realize that not every guy can have a Big Johnson," said Long, "But image is very important to people. If they don't have a Big Johnson, they at least want to project the image of having one."

Asked if he anticipated Big Johnsons showing up in the hands of Harley owners, Long said it was unlikely. "I just don't see the need to have a Harley if you have a Big Johnson," he said. "And I can't imagine someone who spends all their resources to acquire a Harley having a Big Johnson. I think it boils down to this - You either have a Harley, or you have a Big Johnson, but you are not likely to have both." "Given the choice," said Long, "I think most guys will opt for the Big Johnson."

Another force driving sales for the company will come from women. A survey of the wives and girlfriends of nearly 1,000 potential motorcycle buyers indicates less than 5% would approve of their partner spending $15,000 on a Harley Davidson. But, when asked if they would be willing to pay the same amount of money to get their partner a Big Johnson, nearly 4 out 5 thought that would be money well spent.

One female present at the product unveiling was quoted as saying, "There is no way I will let Lonnie drop 15 grand on another one of those Harleys, but 15 grand to get him a Big Johnson? Well, that's something we could both enjoy, and it's something he really needs."

Carla Roundheel, manager of the dealership network now being established, said her motto is simple. "I service what we sell."

Big Johnson Motorcycles will be traded on the stock exchange under the abbreviation PNSNV.

Re: Big Johnson Unveiled
stevieB #424901 02/06/2011 3:54 PM
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"Lighten up, Francis."
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Booo hissss


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Re: Big Johnson Unveiled
stevieB #424902 02/06/2011 4:31 PM
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Hey Steve,

I think your info might be a bit dated..... Note the date on the article..... Big Johnston Link.



If you were pulling my leg....I've been dupped


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69 BSA Firebird Scrambler
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Re: Big Johnson Unveiled
Gregger #424903 02/06/2011 4:37 PM
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Quote:


If you were pulling my leg....I've been dupped




really? duped? surely not.

okay I did steal it shamelessly from another website.

Re: Big Johnson Unveiled
stevieB #424904 02/06/2011 5:15 PM
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"Lighten up, Francis."
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I should have said "groan."


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Re: Big Johnson Unveiled
FriarJohn #424905 02/06/2011 7:55 PM
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Extremely old joke.


I learned all I need to know about life by killing smart people and eating their brains.
Eat right ,Exercise ,Stay fit, Die Anyway!
Re: Big Johnson Unveiled
The_Dog33 #424906 02/06/2011 8:01 PM
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It's been around a few years Stevie, that's all. Don't you hate it when that happens?


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Re: Big Johnson Unveiled
The_Dog33 #424907 02/06/2011 8:01 PM
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I didn't get it, can some one explain it to me?


I have no faith in human perfectability. I think that human exertion will have no appreciable effect upon humanity. Man is now only more active - not more happy - nor more wise, than he was 6000 years ago. Edgar Allan Poe
Re: Big Johnson Unveiled
Keith #424908 02/06/2011 8:03 PM
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It dont matter, if it makes one person smile its cool. I hadn't heard it before but then I am kept in the dark and fed...what is it they feed mushrooms again?

Re: Big Johnson Unveiled
stevieB #424909 02/06/2011 8:09 PM
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I never read that joke before.


I have no faith in human perfectability. I think that human exertion will have no appreciable effect upon humanity. Man is now only more active - not more happy - nor more wise, than he was 6000 years ago. Edgar Allan Poe
Re: Big Johnson Unveiled
StandingBull #424910 02/06/2011 8:20 PM
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Quote:

I didn't get it, can some one explain it to me?


Well, I guess you could rent some old John Holmes porno movies to get the idea. Or, I could just send you some shower scenes of me in the 2nd grade....


Fidelis et Fortis
Re: Big Johnson Unveiled
stevieB #424911 02/06/2011 8:57 PM
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It might be old. but it's new to me

I nearly wet myself at this bit

Quote:


Asked if he anticipated Big Johnsons showing up in the hands of Harley owners, Long said it was unlikely. "I just don't see the need to have a Harley if you have a Big Johnson," he said. "And I can't imagine someone who spends all their resources to acquire a Harley having a Big Johnson. I think it boils down to this - You either have a Harley, or you have a Big Johnson, but you are not likely to have both." "Given the choice," said Long, "I think most guys will opt for the Big Johnson."








Too old to die young, too ugly to leave a good looking corpse
Re: Big Johnson Unveiled
stevieB #424912 02/06/2011 9:33 PM
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Hate it when that happens......


12 Rocket Roadster
03 Bonneville America
69 BSA Firebird Scrambler
73 Yamaha TX 750
Re: Big Johnson Unveiled
Gregger #424913 02/06/2011 10:00 PM
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Don't get me wrong, still made me smile.


I learned all I need to know about life by killing smart people and eating their brains.
Eat right ,Exercise ,Stay fit, Die Anyway!
Re: Big Johnson Unveiled
The_Dog33 #424914 02/07/2011 9:43 AM
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Second Wind
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I searched the net and couldn't find a motorcycle called big Johnson.


I have no faith in human perfectability. I think that human exertion will have no appreciable effect upon humanity. Man is now only more active - not more happy - nor more wise, than he was 6000 years ago. Edgar Allan Poe
Re: Big Johnson Unveiled
StandingBull #424915 02/07/2011 4:00 PM
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Quote:

I searched the net and couldn't find a motorcycle called big Johnson.




You will find it but it is really hard.

Re: Big Johnson Unveiled
stevieB #424916 02/07/2011 4:09 PM
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Quote:

Quote:

I searched the net and couldn't find a motorcycle called big Johnson.




You will find it but it is really hard.



Keep looking!



Live to love, love to live.
Re: Big Johnson Unveiled
Keith #424917 02/07/2011 4:27 PM
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"Lighten up, Francis."
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I think this thread gets the award for most rimshots.

Badump bump... tissshh...


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Re: Big Johnson Unveiled
FriarJohn #424918 02/07/2011 5:25 PM
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if you didn't get the joke when it said the Johnson brands marketing manager was Peter Long...well.....

Last edited by motorat; 02/07/2011 5:27 PM.
Re: Big Johnson Unveiled
motorat #424919 02/07/2011 6:50 PM
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"Lighten up, Francis."
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Much like Keith's last post there was a whole line of "Big Johnson" t-shirts in the 80s and/or 90s.


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Re: Big Johnson Unveiled
StandingBull #424920 02/07/2011 10:33 PM
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Quote:

I searched the net and couldn't find a motorcycle called big Johnson.




You could always go to a dealer and ask for a test ride on one


Too old to die young, too ugly to leave a good looking corpse
Re: Big Johnson Unveiled
brindle #424921 02/07/2011 10:37 PM
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Hey, Chad

If you're not funning with us and really don't get the joke, then for the love of God, PLEASE DO NOT DO WHAT I JUST SAID

I don't live that far from an international airport


Too old to die young, too ugly to leave a good looking corpse
Re: Big Johnson Unveiled
brindle #424922 02/07/2011 10:53 PM
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Second Wind
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There is a pic posted on here its like t-shirt art from the 70's.


I have no faith in human perfectability. I think that human exertion will have no appreciable effect upon humanity. Man is now only more active - not more happy - nor more wise, than he was 6000 years ago. Edgar Allan Poe
Re: Big Johnson Unveiled
brindle #424923 02/07/2011 10:53 PM
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Quote:

Quote:

I searched the net and couldn't find a motorcycle called big Johnson.




You could always go to a dealer and ask for a test ride on one



Whoe, hoe... that was good!! Yeah, I encourage everyone interested to ask for a test ride!


Live to love, love to live.
Re: Big Johnson Unveiled
Keith #424924 02/07/2011 10:56 PM
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"Excuse me Mr Dealer, Do you have a Big Johnson that I could go for a ride on?"

Re: Big Johnson Unveiled
stevieB #424925 02/07/2011 11:18 PM
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the ladies love throwing a leg over a Big Johnson


Always remember to be yourself. Unless you suck. Then pretend to be someone else.
Re: Big Johnson Unveiled
StandingBull #424926 02/07/2011 11:40 PM
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"Lighten up, Francis."
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Re: Big Johnson Unveiled
FriarJohn #424927 02/08/2011 9:10 AM
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Second Wind
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are you guys gay? ya'll been talkin alot about a mans genitals a lot. 3 pages worth.


I have no faith in human perfectability. I think that human exertion will have no appreciable effect upon humanity. Man is now only more active - not more happy - nor more wise, than he was 6000 years ago. Edgar Allan Poe
Re: Big Johnson Unveiled
StandingBull #424928 02/08/2011 11:48 AM
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Stickman Yogi
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Quote:

are you guys gay? ya'll been talkin alot about a mans genitals a lot. 3 pages worth.



Well ya know... when it's a Big Johnson, there's a lot to talk about. Doesn't 'come up' that often.


Live to love, love to live.
Re: Big Johnson Unveiled
StandingBull #424929 02/08/2011 12:46 PM
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"Lighten up, Francis."
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Quote:

are you guys gay? ya'll been talkin alot about a mans genitals a lot. 3 pages worth.




Heh, like bass players don't focus on their kak.


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Re: Big Johnson Unveiled
FriarJohn #424930 02/09/2011 4:44 AM
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Quote:

Heh, like bass players don't focus on their kak.




Hey! I resemble that remark!

~Brent


~Brent ----- "Nothing you can be is more terrible than what I am." ~ 2007 Black Speedmaster!!

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