Bonneville America Forums Forums Off Topic Discussion Forums Lounge A coffee / keyboard moment

(relayed from Rick Wakeman show on Planet Rock on Saturday morning, but had to share )

"...When I was young, money was much tighter; I lived in a cheap flat, drove a cheap old car, watched a 10" black and white TV and slept on a sofabed - but each night it was with a hot 21-year old.

Now, I have a £250k house, new fast car, 50" plasma TV and huge bed - but I share it with a 45-year old woman.

However, all is not lost; my wife has given me a way back to my youth - she says that if I go out and find myself a hot 21 year old to sleep with, she will make sure I will once again be short of money, living in a cheap flat, driving a cheap old car, watching a 10" black and white TV and sleeping on a sofabed..."

If she is like my ex, it would be worth it.

Sounds like a good deal to me

That's a good one. Ahhh yes, back to the simple life!!

Hmmm... I know that's supposed to be a joke - and vaguely recall a time when it was once funny. However, as one who just took up that offer and find myself adjusting to the loss of the comforts of the old home and adjusting to the DIS-comforts of the new one, I must say that most of the humor has long worn off. It has been about 9 months of painful realization that the 'price of happiness' sometimes is the very happiness one seeks. Anyway, I have begun to crawl out from the dark abyss I'd placed myself and am just beginning to recover from, and adjust to some of the losses – the greatest of which was becoming a virtual ‘non-person’ in the eyes of my two adult daughters with whom I’d had a very long and very close relationship. I say all this, not for any sympathy, pity, or words of encouragement. I say it only as a warning to those that may be considering a later life change in direction and are ill prepared for the unforeseen changes in lifestyle and the costs which come with it - Of which monetary concerns are the least. I won’t say “Don’t do it” because even I still have a glimmer of optimism for the future. However, do yourself a favor - Read a few books and do some research, and exhaust all resources (including professional help) before you pack your bags.

Along the same lines......(a bit repetitive)


Artist: Aaron Lines
Title: Cheaper To Keep Her Lyrics

Your Down on your luck
You Just lost your Truck
You Can't afford another beer
Your Credit cards don't work
Whole world thinks your a jerk
You're wondering how you wound up here

It would have been cheaper
to keep her around
It would have been better to let her keep you down
Living with a crazy wife beats an empty bank account

It would have been cheaper to keep her around

Now you're sleeping on the couch at your best friends house watching Columbo
Eating cold pizza in your underwear, just remember I told you so

It would have been cheaper
to keep her around
It would have been better to let her keep you down
Living with a crazy wife beats an empty bank account
It would have been cheaper to keep her around

Oooh

So if you're thinking about saying adios, take it from a fool who knows
She's going to serve you papers make you pay through the nose
When her lawyer gets through with you you'll have to move to Mexico

It would have been cheaper
to keep her around
It would have been better to let her keep you down
Living with a crazy wife beats an empty bank account
It would have been cheaper to keep her around


It would have been cheaper to keep her around
Down on your luck
You Just lost your Truck
You Can't afford another beer
Your Credit cards don't work
Whole world thinks your a jerk
You're wondering how you wound up here

It would have been cheaper
to keep her around
It would have been better to let her keep you down
Living with a crazy wife beats an empty bank account

It would have been cheaper to keep her around

Now you're sleeping on the couch at your best friends house watching Columbo
Eating cold pizza in your underwear, just remember I told you so

It would have been cheaper
to keep her around
It would have been better to let her keep you down
Living with a crazy wife beats an empty bank account
It would have been cheaper to keep her around

Oh

So if you're thinking about saying adios, take it from a fool who knows
She's going to serve you paper

When her lawyer gets through with you you'll have to move to Mexico

It would have been cheaper
to keep her around
It would have been better to let her keep you down
Living with a crazy wife beats an empty bank account
It would have been cheaper to keep her around


It would have been cheaper
to keep her around

Rascal Flatts has got it figured out,

"...you wanna know what you get
When you play a country song backwards

You get your house back
You get your dog back
You get your best friend Jackson back
You get your truck back
You get your hair back
You get your first and second jobs back
Your front porch swing
Going ding ling ,ling,ling
Your bling bling bling and a diamond ring
Your get your farm with a barn and a boat and the harley
That old black cat named Charlie
Sounds a little crazy, a little scattered and absurd
But that's what you get when you play a country song backwards..."

Me and Loretta, we now talk much more
We're together as we stare thru the back door screen
Though all the news still repeats itself
Its that forgotten dream
That we've BOTH seen
J.P.

Jim...Rascal Flatts? Seriously? C'mon...and here I always thought you were an okay guy...