Bonneville America Forums Forums Off Topic Discussion Forums Lounge Hypocrisy?

Hello all,
I'm not sure that any of this will interest you, but I need to get it off of my chest.
I've been deemed to be in need of sensitivity training at work. It seems that
honesty is never the correct policy when you are on the clock. I've always tried
to be respectful of others, but everyone that knew me also knew that if you ask
me a direct question that you will receive a direct answer, and that I do not
pretend to be anything other than what I am.

Recently my grandfather has been diagnosed with stage four terminal cancer.
(There are only four stages, and the fourth is usually deemed to be that last
year or two.)

These two combined have put me in a terrible fix. I'm being watched. I have
to talk to known coworkers as well as new ones cheerfully and, no mater what,
tell them that I am wonderful and that life is great so as not to upset their day.
The problem is that I know I'm being forced to lie. I've never felt more like
a hypocrite in my life, hiding behind a smile all the while dieing inside and
wanting to avoid anyone I don't have to deal with.

That stinks, having to be nice when you are going through the illness of your grandfather. Do your supervisors know your personal situation? I guess most have to be professional at their place of employment no matter what's going on with your life. I tend to be a little too "honest" at work and have run off two case managers from my office. Since I work for the State and have been there almost 20 years you almost have to kill someone or steal something before you can be fired though.

Tim I fully agree with your thoughts. I had testicular cancer a few years ago I went to the hospital had all the tests and it was confirmed. To say I was in deep shock is an understatement.

I went into work to advise them of what was happening and that I would be off work for a period time. My boss a woman was initialy supportive of my situation. later I found out that she was under the impression that I would be back to work before my operation and off for a couple of days !!!

I was in deep shock didnt want to talk to any body or have anthing to with any body outside my close circle of friends. I had the op then the Chemo. Ny work phoned up wanting me to visit the occupational health people. They wanted me to talk about my feelings.

I dont talk about feelings or discuss my thoughts with any body its not the way things are done on the west coast of Scotland. To be open with people is not in my nature I keep my thoughts and feelings private. I refused the invite and was told my attitude was wrong. I must admit to having what can only be determined as a "moment" I told them to get lost. I was threatened with action being taken against me for being "negative" and "uncooperative". At this point I drew a comparison with breast cancer and asked if women are treated the same way I asked them if women felt if they were less feminine because of a loss of a breast could it not be considered that a man would be equally as disturbed by the loss of a bollock. I drew comparisons between each loss. I was met with a stoney silence nobody in the room knew how to answer me. I returned to work after 6 months where people whom I considered colleagues avoided me as it was put about that I was obstructive and awkward. I will admit to never have been the easiest person to deal with and I dont suppose my manner endears me to a lot of sycophants. I work for a huge company which says a lot about its equal opportunities and care for staff. The reality is like most large corporations the main interest is the revenue generated.

The shareholder love to see all these glossy adverts and brochures as long as they do not detract from the earnings per share. Now Hp is going through another major restructuring in Europe. I am supposed to be happy and nice to all my colleagues. I am eventually going to be a victim of the cost cutting. Do I wish to be nice to people...not really. One problem I have is why do companies expect us to like our colleagues. We work beacause we have to we end up with colleagues we would never choose to be friends with in a million years. I choose my friends I have my colleagues forced upon me.

If So Tim all I can say is be honest with yourself if asked tell the truth dont sugar coat your pain for any body if they are unsympathetic to your situation then it will show you exactly what or how low companies / employees will stoop to show how "caring" they are.

One thing remains constant you can always come on here and ****** and moan away to your hearts content. This lot in here will offer support and the tear you a new one all in good fun and in a caring manner.

A week ago , Linda at Waldom Electric died of cancer. No one at my work, or at Waldom knew she had cancer, except maybe the owners of the company. She knew she had the cancer but refused the chemo for whatever reasons. She was always positive and cheerful, a joy to talk to. She went home early one day, and a week later she was dead. She is missed very much by all that knew her.

Well, here comes Mr. insensitive.

If you were not you, what would you tell the guy that posted this?

You wasted the gift of life today failing to celebrate the very gift you got. You won't get more than you can carry. You also won't get today back.

Your grandfather is doing the hard part of this deal yaknow.

Smile, you are getting another gift in the morning, what you plan to do with it is up to you. When the sun shines on your face, you can curse the sun or enjoy its warmth. Its all about choices.

Good luck with yours.

Divinity Student:
Try Psalm 118.
Pay special attention to vs 24.



Ron: Right on friend. I know where you're coming from

There is a great deal of hypocrisy in modern workplaces as regards.....

political correctness when it comes to dealing with coworkers. If one is pretty much a tell it like it is type and you are dealing with what are often your atypical soft, weak sister , slackers who are always whining....

It can be tough. Add in some personal misfortune and it can be even tougher.

I am a long time shall we say tenured type so I often simply dont worry about the sensitivity issue.

I feel for you. There are many hardworking less than senstive types out there and often we are the backbone of the work force whethere we are in management directly or fill roles as informal leaders.

Keep your chin up but tread carefully. Its OK to NOT feel as though each day is a gift. Thats why we are human.

The hosana I cant wait to feel good every day and smile real big on the way to work types are a minority.

Most of us just cant wait for the weekend....we still do our jobs but we dont feel we have to put forward a "feel good" persona all the time. leave that to Human resource types and ****** kissers in training.

I've always found that when I'm down and depressed, a couple of hookers, a case of tequila and a mariachi band always seems to cheer me up.



Cheers,
Brad

Don't let it get you down
It's only castles burning
Find someone who's turning
And you will come around.
.... Neil Young

You know I am familiar with the Psalms and as simple as it is to pick a verse out of it,
I can see a theme throughout scripture of honesty. The joy of the Lord is not dependant
upon happiness, and those who confuse the two are mistaken. There are numerous
examples of people in scripture who were downcast at times, yet were not outside the
will of God.

The modern heresies of perpetual blessing and bliss are just that. More often than not
the Christian walk of faith demands a price of it’s sojourners. Dietrich Bonhoeffer
rallied against this idea in “The cost of Discipleship” as he confronted the German
Lutheran Church under the Nazi party as it diluted the gospel to exclude work
or hardship, and instead peddled cheap grace to the people, thus rendering the gospel
message useless.

Beyond that in times of distress or severe emotional turmoil, such as a dieing or dead
relative, the basic edicts of counseling are to refrain from trying to argue the persons
feelings. I’ve been in situations in which people question God; His existence, purpose,
or even weather He is simply afflicting them for some reason. The correct response is
to leave them to their musings and attempt to direct their own thoughts to reexamine
their position, not to attempt to confront them.

You started this thread to preach!

My goodness, we fell into that one for sure.

Maybe you didn't waste your day, but you wasted part of mine. I learn from my mistakes.

No, I didn't start this thread to preach. I responded to the replies I got from it.
I admit that I didn't care for what you had to say, but I responded without personal
attack or insinuation. I cannot say for sure, but it would seem from your two replies
that you came to this discussion with the intention of finding fault with whatever
I had to say. I’ll not get into a war over this but I would ask that you
question your motives and harsh overtones.

Yeah Rev....or should I say "kid", 'cause sorry my friend, but evidently you're not old enough to have learned, just like Ron here has, that whenever crap gets ya down in THIS life, then your best course of action is to try and find something, ANYTHING, that'll put a smile back on that face o' yours!!!

OH, and one more thing my young friend...IF you DO find that one thing, that ANYTHING, I was talkin' about above that'll put that friggin' SMILE back on your face, well... there's NO WAY on "God's green earth"(that's is IF you happen to believe in "The Guy") that THAT'S "Hypocritical", or in your case here, "disrespectful" to your granddad's condition....PERIOD!!!!

(NOPE, my young friend, NOT at ALL!!!)

I, for myself, appreciated your insight and comments, Rev.

This will be my last post in this thread, and I'm honestly not sure why I got this reaction.

#1 I posted to vent, not to have to validate my feelings.

#2 I didn't bring up theology, I simply responded to another post.

#3 I did not set out to attack anyone. If you feel that I did so then I apologize.
I, however, will not apologize for defending myself when provoked.

#4 I surely never thought that I would be assigned motive, blame or belittled
for anything I posted in this thread. I suppose I've learned better from this
experience.

I guess bikes is all we are here for and everything else is pretence!

And this is exactly why we don't allow politics and religion. People get upset/offended/whatever. For what it's worth, Rev, I didn't think you were preaching, but still religious discussions violate the AUP and should be taken to Private Messages, private email or where ever.