Bonneville America Forums Forums Off Topic Discussion Forums Lounge Blonde Joke

Three blondes (natural) died and found themselves standing before St. Peter. He told them that before they could enter the Kingdom, they had to tell him what Easter was.
 
The first blonde said, "Easter is a holiday where they have a big feast and we give thanks and eat turkey." St. Peter said, "Noooooo, that is Thanksgiving" and he banished her to ******.
 
The second blonde said, "Easter is when we celebrate Jesus' birth and exchange gifts."  St. Peter said, "Noooooo, that is Christmas" and he banished her to ******.
 
The third blonde said, she knows what Easter is, and St. Peter said, "So, tell me."
 
She said, "Easter is a Christian holiday that coincides with the Jewish festival of Passover. Jesus was having Passover feast with His disciples when he was betrayed by Judas, and the Romans arrested him. The Romans hung Him on the cross and eventually He died. Then they buried Him in a tomb behind a very large boulder.
 
St. Peter said, "Verrrrrry good."
 
Then the blonde continued, "Now every year the Jews roll away the boulder and Jesus comes out.  If he sees his shadow, we have six more weeks of basketball.."
 
St. Peter fainted

Well Soren, that DOES kind'a make ya wonder why that "Punxsutawney Jesus" thing never quite caught on, doesn't it???

Blond is driving through some farm land when she looks over to her right. There in the middle of a field is a blond rowing a boat. She pulls over and gets out of the car.

1st blond: Hey girl, what are you doing??

2nd blond: What's it look like? I'm rowing to shore!

1st blond: You dumb blond!! If I could swim, I'd come out there and kick your butt! You're doing it all wrong!

One blond walks up on another blond and sees her blowing in the tail pipe of her car for all she is worth. She asks what she is doing. The blond blowing on the exhaust explains a hail storm had dented her car and she is blowing on the pipe to try and pop the dents back out. The other blond starts laughing so hard her side hurt. The other blond asked why she was laughing. she replied "Dummy, you have to roll the windows up first!"

I know that gal.

A blind man walks into an all woman's bar. He sits at the bar for awhile chatting, then says "hey, anyone want to hear a blond joke?"

The entire bar gets deathly quiet.
Then the woman he had been talking to says "look because your blind we're going to give you a chance here. The bartender is blond and just picked up a baseball bat, the bouncer is blond, the woman on your left is blond and has a black belt in Kung-Fu, the woman on my right is blond and she's a professional boxer, I'm blond and I'm a Marine. Now are you sure you still want to tell that joke?"

The blind man thinks for a moment, then says "Nah, not if I'm going to have to explain it five times."

why doesnt a blonde look out the window in the morning?

Give her something to do in the afternoon

6 blonds go into a bar and order champagne. They put a small board on the table along with a paper box and start toasting. "83 days! 83 days".
This made the bartender curious, so he asked what is important about 83 days.
One of them said, "Well, we got tired of all the blond jokes and decided we should do something to show we aren't as dumb as people think. So, we decided to put this puzzle together in record time and with all of us working on it, it only took us 83 days. See here on the box? It says 2 to 5 years!"

First blond spots second blond across a river. Second blond yells across, "How do I get to the other side?"
First blond looking puzzled, "You're already on the other side."