 The height of British intellectual talent
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Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 768
3/4 Throttle
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OP
3/4 Throttle
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 768 |
An Australian mate just emailed this to me. What can I say...?
The height of British intellectual talent
The wonders of a modern education...
UNIVERSITY CHALLENGE (BBC2)
Jeremy Paxman: What is another name for 'cherrypickers' and 'cheesemongers'?
Contestant: Homosexuals.
Paxman: No. They're regiments in the British Army who will be very upset with you.
BEG, BORROW OR STEAL (BBC2)
Jamie Theakston: Where do you think Cambridge University is?
Contestant: Geography isn't my strong point.
Theakston: There's a clue in the title.
Contestant: Leicester .
BBC NORFOLK
Stewart White: Who had a worldwide hit with What A Wonderful World?
Contestant: I don't know.
White: I'll give you some clues: what do you call the part between your hand and your elbow?
Contestant : Arm.
White: Correct. And if you're not weak, you're...?
Contestant: Strong.
White: Correct - and what was Lord Mountbatten's first name?
Contestant: Louis.
White: Well, there we are then. So who had a worldwide hit with the song What A Wonderful World?
Contestant: Frank Sinatra?
LATE SHOW (BBC MIDLANDS )
Alex Trelinski: What is the capital of Italy ?
Contestant: France .
Trelinski: France is another country. Try again.
Contestant: Oh, um, Benidorm.
Trelinski: Wrong, sorry, let's try another question. In which country is the Parthenon?
Contestant: Sorry, I don't know.
Trelinski: Just guess a country then.
Contestant: Paris .
THE WEAKEST LINK (BBC2)
Anne Robinson: - Oscar Wilde, Adolf Hitler and Jeffrey Archer have all written books about their experiences in what: - Prison, or
the Conservative Party?
Contestant: The Conservative Party.
BEACON RADIO ( WOLVERHAMPTON )
DJ Mark: For £10, what is the nationality of the Pope?
Ruth from Rowley Regis: I think I know that one. Is it Jewish?
GWR FM ( Bristol )
Presenter: What happened in Dallas on November 22, 1963?
Contestant : I don't know, I wasn't watching it then.
RTE RADIO 2FM ( IRELAND )
Presenter: What is the name of the long- running TV comedy show
about pensioners: Last Of The...?
Caller: Mohicans.
PHIL WOOD SHOW (BBC RADIO MANCHESTER )
Phil: What's 11 squared?
Contestant: I don't know.
Phil: I'll give you a clue. It's two ones with a two in the middle.
Contestant: Is it five?
RICHARD AND JUDY
Q: Which American actor is married to Nicole Kidman?
A: Forrest Gump.
RICHARD AND JUDY
Leslie: On which street did Sherlock Holmes live?
Contestant: Er. . .
Leslie: He makes bread . . .
Contestant: Er . ...
Leslie: He makes cakes . . .
Contestant: Kipling Street ?
LINCS FM P HONE-IN
Presenter: Which is the largest Spanish-speaking country in the world?
Contestant: Barcelona .
Presenter: I was really after the name of a country.
Contestant: I'm sorry, I don't know the names of any countries in Spain .
NATIONAL LOTTERY (BBC1)
Question: What is the world's largest continent?
Contestant: The Pacific
ROCK FM ( PRESTON )
Presenter: Name a film starring Bob Hoskins that is also the name of a famous painting by Leonardo da Vinci.
Contestant: Who Framed Roger Rabbit?
THE BIGGEST GAME IN TOWN (ITV)
Steve Le Fevre: What was signed, to bring World War I to an end in 1918?
Contestant: Magna Carta?
JAMES O'BRIEN SHOW (LBC)
O'Brien: How many kings of England have been called Henry?
Contestant: Er, well, I know there was a Henry the Eighth ... ER…ER ... Three?
CHRIS SEARLE SHOW (BBC RADIO BRISTOL )
Searle: In which European country is Mount Etna ?
Caller: Japan .
Searle : I did say which European country, so in case you didn't hear that, I can let you try again.
Caller: Er .... Mexico ?
PAUL WAPPAT (BBC RADIO NEWCASTLE )
Paul Wappat: How long did the Six-Day War between Egypt and Israel last?
Contestant (after long pause): Fourteen days.
DARYL DENHAM'S DRIVETIME (VIRGIN RADIO)
Daryl Denham: In which country would you spend shekels?
Contestant: Holland ?
Denham: Try the next letter of the alphabet.
Contestant: Iceland ? Ireland ?
Denham (helpfully): It's a bad line. Did you say Israel ?
Contestant: No.
PHIL WOOD SHOW (BBC GMR)
Wood: What 'K' could be described as the Islamic Bible?
Contestant: Er. .. .
Wood: It's got two syllables . . . Kor . . .
Contestant: Blimey?
Wood: Ha ha ha ha, no. The past participle of run . . .
Contestant: (Silence)
Wood: OK, try it another way. Today I run, yesterday I . . .
Contestant: Walked?
THE VAULT
Melanie Sykes: What is the name given to the condition where the sufferer can fall asleep at any time?
Contestant: Nostalgia.
LUNCHTIME SHOW (BRMB)
Presenter: What religion was Guy Fawkes?
Contestant: Jewish.
Presenter: That's close enough.
STEVE WRIGHT IN THE AFTERNOON (BBC RADIO 2)
Wright: Johnny Weissmuller died on this day. Which jungle-swinging character clad only in a loin cloth did he play?
Contestant: Jesus
Sometimes it takes a whole tank full of fuel before you think straight
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Re: The height of British intellectual talent
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Joined: Feb 2008
Posts: 973
3/4 Throttle
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3/4 Throttle
Joined: Feb 2008
Posts: 973 |
Nice one Dafydd.  Being fortunate enough to meet a great many members of the Great British public in my day to day buisness it would appear that some of the people quoted above may be the more enlightend individuals who roam our land. At least they were clever enough to get onto the tv and radio shows in the first place. 
Before the war on terror, if I saw an unattended package I used to think "I'll be having that!"
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Re: The height of British intellectual talent
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Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 20,096 Likes: 2
Fe Butt
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Fe Butt
Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 20,096 Likes: 2 |
Eeh, that's nothin', Dave!!!  I invite you to go to "YouTube", and in that little space on that website where it says "Search", well, just type in the words "Jay Leno's Jay Walking" in that little ol' box, and then just click on ANY ONE of those videos that will come up. And THEN, I "think" you'll realize after viewing ANY of those videos that we YANKS have got you Brits "beat by a country mile" when it comes to REALLY DUMB FOLKS!!!  (...who SURPRISINGLY have no qualms about showing millions of OTHER folks out there how STUPID they are...'cause of course, that's THEIR "15 minutes of fame") 
Yep! Just like a good Single Malt Scotch, you might call me "an acquired taste" TOO.(among the many OTHER things you may care to call me, of course)
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Re: The height of British intellectual talent
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Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 23,186 Likes: 55
Fe Butt
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Fe Butt
Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 23,186 Likes: 55 |
The song in the background kept me watching this one. The answer to what's diction cracked me up. By the way Pink Floyd, Shine on You Crazy Diamond is in the back ground if I remember the title right. amateur jaywalking
I learned all I need to know about life by killing smart people and eating their brains.
Eat right ,Exercise ,Stay fit, Die Anyway!
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Re: The height of British intellectual talent
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Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 23,186 Likes: 55
Fe Butt
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Fe Butt
Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 23,186 Likes: 55 |
I was watching these jaywalking clips and this allstar clip killed me. I'm sure even our non-American members can get many of these questions that these 3 miss! jaywalking allstar
I learned all I need to know about life by killing smart people and eating their brains.
Eat right ,Exercise ,Stay fit, Die Anyway!
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Re: The height of British intellectual talent
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Joined: Dec 2007
Posts: 211
Adjunct
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Adjunct
Joined: Dec 2007
Posts: 211 |
All I have to say is that first item immediately made me think of The Young Ones: "Its only university challenge Rick! Its only university challenge!" LOL.
2007 Custom America with BUBs
I make my own parts cause I cant afford to buy theirs.
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Re: The height of British intellectual talent
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Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 6,821
Bar Shake
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Bar Shake
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 6,821 |
Quote:
Eeh, that's nothin', Dave!!!
I invite you to go to "YouTube", and in that little space on that website where it says "Search", well, just type in the words "Jay Leno's Jay Walking" in that little ol' box, and then just click on ANY ONE of those videos that will come up. And THEN, I "think" you'll realize after viewing ANY of those videos that we YANKS have got you Brits "beat by a country mile" when it comes to REALLY DUMB FOLKS!!!
(...who SURPRISINGLY have no qualms about showing millions of OTHER folks out there how STUPID they are...'cause of course, that's THEIR "15 minutes of fame")
Some of their "15 minutes" last for years.....I'm thinking, um......about eight????? 
Contra todo mal, mezcal; contra todo bien, también
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Re: The height of British intellectual talent
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Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 20,096 Likes: 2
Fe Butt
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Fe Butt
Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 20,096 Likes: 2 |
Yep! Just like a good Single Malt Scotch, you might call me "an acquired taste" TOO.(among the many OTHER things you may care to call me, of course)
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Re: The height of British intellectual talent
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Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 20,096 Likes: 2
Fe Butt
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Fe Butt
Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 20,096 Likes: 2 |
Oh...and just one more thing here folks.... God Bless the American Educational System!!!    (yep...may it long continue to be the "shining beacon of knowledge" that it has become!!!!)
Yep! Just like a good Single Malt Scotch, you might call me "an acquired taste" TOO.(among the many OTHER things you may care to call me, of course)
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Re: The height of British intellectual talent
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Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 7,629 Likes: 7
Monkey Butt
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Monkey Butt
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 7,629 Likes: 7 |
Remember, many of these people VOTE! 
We all like to think of ourselves as rugged individualists. But when push comes to shove most of us are sheep who do what we are told. Worst of all, a lot of us become unpaid agents of whoever is controlling the agenda by enforcing the current dogma on the few rugged individualists who actually exist.
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Re: The height of British intellectual talent
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Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 768
3/4 Throttle
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OP
3/4 Throttle
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 768 |
Quote:
I was watching these jaywalking clips and this allstar clip killed me. I'm sure even our non-American members can get many of these questions that these 3 miss!
Reckon on about 7 through general knowledge. The blondes have an excuse tho...! 
Sometimes it takes a whole tank full of fuel before you think straight
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Re: The height of British intellectual talent
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Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 23,186 Likes: 55
Fe Butt
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Fe Butt
Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 23,186 Likes: 55 |
Cracked me up one girl voted for Obama and couldn't identify Biden, then another girl voted for McCain and when Leno held up a pic of him she said it was Dick Cheney. Sad part is they were both college students.
I learned all I need to know about life by killing smart people and eating their brains.
Eat right ,Exercise ,Stay fit, Die Anyway!
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Re: The height of British intellectual talent
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Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 18,825
"Lighten up, Francis."
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"Lighten up, Francis."
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 18,825 |
Quote:
Osama
Who? (answer and I'll lock this thread in a heartbeat)  
Would you like me to correct your typo?
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Re: The height of British intellectual talent
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Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 23,186 Likes: 55
Fe Butt
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Fe Butt
Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 23,186 Likes: 55 |
I fixed it but it was no typo.
I learned all I need to know about life by killing smart people and eating their brains.
Eat right ,Exercise ,Stay fit, Die Anyway!
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Re: The height of British intellectual talent
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Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 18,825
"Lighten up, Francis."
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"Lighten up, Francis."
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 18,825 |
DUDE! Weren't the smilies enough you let you know I was just messin' with you? I gotta work on my people skills. Or not.
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Re: The height of British intellectual talent
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Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 6,821
Bar Shake
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Bar Shake
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 6,821 |
Quote:
DUDE! Weren't the smilies enough you let you know I was just messin' with you? I gotta work on my people skills.
Or not.
I was scrolling kinda slow. I did get to your addendum before my jaw completely unhinged though.
(whew)
Contra todo mal, mezcal; contra todo bien, también
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Re: The height of British intellectual talent
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Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 18,825
"Lighten up, Francis."
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"Lighten up, Francis."
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 18,825 |
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Re: The height of British intellectual talent
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Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 6,821
Bar Shake
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Bar Shake
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 6,821 |
Um.. no, not really.
Contra todo mal, mezcal; contra todo bien, también
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Re: The height of British intellectual talent
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Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 51
Member
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Member
Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 51 |
Quote:
An Australian mate just emailed this to me. What can I say...?
The height of British intellectual talent
The wonders of a modern education...
UNIVERSITY CHALLENGE (BBC2)
Jeremy Paxman: What is another name for 'cherrypickers' and 'cheesemongers'?
Contestant: Homosexuals.
Paxman: No. They're regiments in the British Army who will be very upset with you.
BEG, BORROW OR STEAL (BBC2)
Jamie Theakston: Where do you think Cambridge University is?
Contestant: Geography isn't my strong point.
Theakston: There's a clue in the title.
Contestant: Leicester .
BBC NORFOLK
Stewart White: Who had a worldwide hit with What A Wonderful World?
Contestant: I don't know.
White: I'll give you some clues: what do you call the part between your hand and your elbow?
Contestant : Arm.
White: Correct. And if you're not weak, you're...?
Contestant: Strong.
White: Correct - and what was Lord Mountbatten's first name?
Contestant: Louis.
White: Well, there we are then. So who had a worldwide hit with the song What A Wonderful World?
Contestant: Frank Sinatra?
LATE SHOW (BBC MIDLANDS )
Alex Trelinski: What is the capital of Italy ?
Contestant: France .
Trelinski: France is another country. Try again.
Contestant: Oh, um, Benidorm.
Trelinski: Wrong, sorry, let's try another question. In which country is the Parthenon?
Contestant: Sorry, I don't know.
Trelinski: Just guess a country then.
Contestant: Paris .
THE WEAKEST LINK (BBC2)
Anne Robinson: - Oscar Wilde, Adolf Hitler and Jeffrey Archer have all written books about their experiences in what: - Prison, or
the Conservative Party?
Contestant: The Conservative Party.
BEACON RADIO ( WOLVERHAMPTON )
DJ Mark: For £10, what is the nationality of the Pope?
Ruth from Rowley Regis: I think I know that one. Is it Jewish?
GWR FM ( Bristol )
Presenter: What happened in Dallas on November 22, 1963?
Contestant : I don't know, I wasn't watching it then.
RTE RADIO 2FM ( IRELAND )
Presenter: What is the name of the long- running TV comedy show
about pensioners: Last Of The...?
Caller: Mohicans.
PHIL WOOD SHOW (BBC RADIO MANCHESTER )
Phil: What's 11 squared?
Contestant: I don't know.
Phil: I'll give you a clue. It's two ones with a two in the middle.
Contestant: Is it five?
RICHARD AND JUDY
Q: Which American actor is married to Nicole Kidman?
A: Forrest Gump.
RICHARD AND JUDY
Leslie: On which street did Sherlock Holmes live?
Contestant: Er. . .
Leslie: He makes bread . . .
Contestant: Er . ...
Leslie: He makes cakes . . .
Contestant: Kipling Street ?
LINCS FM P HONE-IN
Presenter: Which is the largest Spanish-speaking country in the world?
Contestant: Barcelona .
Presenter: I was really after the name of a country.
Contestant: I'm sorry, I don't know the names of any countries in Spain .
NATIONAL LOTTERY (BBC1)
Question: What is the world's largest continent?
Contestant: The Pacific
ROCK FM ( PRESTON )
Presenter: Name a film starring Bob Hoskins that is also the name of a famous painting by Leonardo da Vinci.
Contestant: Who Framed Roger Rabbit?
THE BIGGEST GAME IN TOWN (ITV)
Steve Le Fevre: What was signed, to bring World War I to an end in 1918?
Contestant: Magna Carta?
JAMES O'BRIEN SHOW (LBC)
O'Brien: How many kings of England have been called Henry?
Contestant: Er, well, I know there was a Henry the Eighth ... ER…ER ... Three?
CHRIS SEARLE SHOW (BBC RADIO BRISTOL )
Searle: In which European country is Mount Etna ?
Caller: Japan .
Searle : I did say which European country, so in case you didn't hear that, I can let you try again.
Caller: Er .... Mexico ?
PAUL WAPPAT (BBC RADIO NEWCASTLE )
Paul Wappat: How long did the Six-Day War between Egypt and Israel last?
Contestant (after long pause): Fourteen days.
DARYL DENHAM'S DRIVETIME (VIRGIN RADIO)
Daryl Denham: In which country would you spend shekels?
Contestant: Holland ?
Denham: Try the next letter of the alphabet.
Contestant: Iceland ? Ireland ?
Denham (helpfully): It's a bad line. Did you say Israel ?
Contestant: No.
PHIL WOOD SHOW (BBC GMR)
Wood: What 'K' could be described as the Islamic Bible?
Contestant: Er. .. .
Wood: It's got two syllables . . . Kor . . .
Contestant: Blimey?
Wood: Ha ha ha ha, no. The past participle of run . . .
Contestant: (Silence)
Wood: OK, try it another way. Today I run, yesterday I . . .
Contestant: Walked?
THE VAULT
Melanie Sykes: What is the name given to the condition where the sufferer can fall asleep at any time?
Contestant: Nostalgia.
LUNCHTIME SHOW (BRMB)
Presenter: What religion was Guy Fawkes?
Contestant: Jewish.
Presenter: That's close enough.
STEVE WRIGHT IN THE AFTERNOON (BBC RADIO 2)
Wright: Johnny Weissmuller died on this day. Which jungle-swinging character clad only in a loin cloth did he play?
Contestant: Jesus
...makes you proud, dunnit...?! 
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Re: The height of British intellectual talent
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Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 51
Member
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Member
Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 51 |
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