 How to talk to a telemarketer
|
Joined: May 2006
Posts: 3,971
Loquacious
|
OP
Loquacious
Joined: May 2006
Posts: 3,971 |
|
|
|
Re: How to talk to a telemarketer
|
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 768
3/4 Throttle
|
|
3/4 Throttle
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 768 |
Wouldn't you just love to?!... 
Sometimes it takes a whole tank full of fuel before you think straight
|
|
|
Re: How to talk to a telemarketer
|
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 7,643
Monkey Butt
|
|
Monkey Butt
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 7,643 |
Love it, seen something similar posted a while back but just as funny as the first time I heard it 
Ray(UK)
|
|
|
Re: How to talk to a telemarketer
|
Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 10,735 Likes: 7
Should be Riding
|
|
Should be Riding
Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 10,735 Likes: 7 |
that's good stuff! 
Always remember to be yourself. Unless you suck. Then pretend to be someone else.
|
|
|
Re: How to talk to a telemarketer
|
Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 2,726
Loquacious
|
|
Loquacious
Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 2,726 |
Obviously, the guy really had his spiel down. 
Bob
2005 America, 904cc - sold. 2014 Trophy SE.
|
|
|
Re: How to talk to a telemarketer
|
Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 3,606 Likes: 2
Loquacious
|
|
Loquacious
Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 3,606 Likes: 2 |
My favorite Telemarketer line...
No Mrs. C Johnson can't come to the phone right now because my D*ck is in her mouth...useually ends in a "click"
THE VOICE OF REASON
per: Stewart
AF&AM/Shriner/Scoutmaster
130/45 TBS 2shim SS Uni 18/42
|
|
|
Re: How to talk to a telemarketer
|
Joined: May 2007
Posts: 225
Adjunct
|
|
Adjunct
Joined: May 2007
Posts: 225 |
I like to play along and act real interested and tell them I'll buy if my Chapter 13 attorney says it's alright. That's when I hear the click. 
Yes! I am a Redneck. Any Problems?
|
|
|
Re: How to talk to a telemarketer
|
Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 23,244 Likes: 64
Fe Butt
|
Fe Butt
Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 23,244 Likes: 64 |
I ask them to hold and put the phone down then go do something. They are never there when I get back.
I learned all I need to know about life by killing smart people and eating their brains.
Eat right ,Exercise ,Stay fit, Die Anyway!
|
|
|
Re: How to talk to a telemarketer
|
Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 2,726
Loquacious
|
|
Loquacious
Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 2,726 |
Ian, I may have to start doing that. It's a waste of time to try to talk to them or ask them to leave you alone. I like the "hold on a second, let me get off this other call", then just hang up the phone.
Bob
2005 America, 904cc - sold. 2014 Trophy SE.
|
|
|
Re: How to talk to a telemarketer
|
Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 20,096 Likes: 2
Fe Butt
|
|
Fe Butt
Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 20,096 Likes: 2 |
OR...one can simply follow the Seinfeld manner in such affairs:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hllDWSbuDsQ(BTW Bucky...your link was friggin' HILARIOUS!!!!)
Yep! Just like a good Single Malt Scotch, you might call me "an acquired taste" TOO.(among the many OTHER things you may care to call me, of course)
|
|
|
 Re: How to talk to a telemarketer
|
Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 130
Adjunct
|
|
Adjunct
Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 130 |
|
|
|
Re: How to talk to a telemarketer
|
Joined: Oct 2008
Posts: 2,420
Oil Expert
|
|
Oil Expert
Joined: Oct 2008
Posts: 2,420 |
Quote:
OR...one can simply follow the Seinfeld manner in such affairs:
Dwight,
That's the one I was going to mention. The first time I heard that bit I thought that was the brightest, most justified piece of comedy ever written.
|
|
|
Re: How to talk to a telemarketer
|
Joined: Dec 2007
Posts: 195
Adjunct
|
|
Adjunct
Joined: Dec 2007
Posts: 195 |
I just ask for a credit card number. They seem taken a back until I explain they called a consultation support number. They try to explain they just want to talk. I say I bill by the hour for my time. I accept Visa/MC. They hang up.
|
|
|
Re: How to talk to a telemarketer
|
Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 6,060 Likes: 6
Worn Saddle
|
|
Worn Saddle
Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 6,060 Likes: 6 |
As a variation on the same thing, I'd like to pick up the conversation with the tele guy, act interested for a bit, then start this off line conversation with someone, getting louder all the time while the tele guy listened in. Something like... What, WHAT DID YOU SAY, YOU LYING LITTLE W..R.! I told you that you'd pay if I ever caught you cheating on me again. NOW YOU'RE GONNA PAY! BANG!, BANG!(sounds of shots, cap gun?), BANG! Or something like that, then continue calmly with the tele guy as if nothing was amiss, with the occasional aside, like, "wait a minute, I've got to clean something off of my shirt, and, Hey, by the way, do you have any idea where a guy would buy a large amount of lye?...
Fidelis et Fortis
|
|
|
Re: How to talk to a telemarketer
|
Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 2,839 Likes: 3
Loquacious
|
|
Loquacious
Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 2,839 Likes: 3 |
often times i will holler something like "huh, whats that you'll have to speak up" and so they will get louder and then i will repeat and they will again get louder and i will repeat and usually i will hear them say something in the foul and filth department and they hang up but if they continue i might say something like "Fred?? is that you?? Fred, you know i cant hear nuthin on this thing why dont you come on over" and then they usually hang up. my wife always gets a big chuckle out of it. or if i feel like talkin to them when they ask for Mr. Newt i will say "yep" and then they start their speil i will will say something like "oh you want to talk to my brother and he is out of the country and it dont look like he will be comeing back any time soon because of the trouble he got himself into" and they might say ooh what kinda trouble and i might say something like "well he kept getting calls from telemarketers and well, kinda went off the deep end and shot up a room full of them across town, he left the country and we havent heard from him since" that usually does it
ENJOY!!!!! NEWT!!!!!
|
|
|
Re: How to talk to a telemarketer
|
Joined: Sep 2007
Posts: 657
Adjunct
|
|
Adjunct
Joined: Sep 2007
Posts: 657 |
Quote:
OR...one can simply follow the Seinfeld manner in such affairs:
I have never found Seinfeld to be humerous, there is a distinct difference in humour divided by the Pacific, However, I did happen to catch this this particular skit whilst channel surfing, And did I laugh till my gut was sore.
I have used it a few times, but now our government introduced a "No Call Register" this has stopped the home calls of an evening, but they still call me at my business far to frequently.
Last edited by DollarBill; 01/11/2009 5:18 PM.
|
|
|
Re: How to talk to a telemarketer
|
Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 23,244 Likes: 64
Fe Butt
|
|
Fe Butt
Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 23,244 Likes: 64 |
That's OK dude there are a lot of us over here that don't think he is funny either.
I learned all I need to know about life by killing smart people and eating their brains.
Eat right ,Exercise ,Stay fit, Die Anyway!
|
|
|
 Re: How to talk to a telemarketer
|
Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 2,626
Loquacious
|
|
Loquacious
Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 2,626 |
The "Bob and Tom Show", the only talk show I'll listen to in the morning. At least they're funny.
Steelheart- '03 Speedmaster Black/Yellow
The Hayabusa Killa
16" Shorties/140 mains/Airbox drilled
Procom CDI
"There is no cure for Celibacy. But we can treat the symptoms."
|
|
|
Re: How to talk to a telemarketer
|
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 5,537
Check Pants
|
|
Check Pants
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 5,537 |
I love Jim Florentine's crank calls. http://www.jimflorentine.com/I've used his line, "well,I just found out I have aids" when asked "how are you doing this morning....".
Al
|
|
|
|
|
