 You know you are old when...
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Loquacious
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OP
Loquacious
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Ok another thread inspred this.
You know you are old when...
You look at sombodys grand ma and think..
Hmmm not bad.
Next?
The percentage you're paying is too high-priced
While you're living beyond all your means
And the man in the suit has just bought a new car
From the profit he's made on your dreams
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Re: You know you are old when...
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Joined: Jan 2006
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Loquacious
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Loquacious
Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 3,606 Likes: 2 |
you see that cute little thing and instead of thinking "I'ld hit that hard" you saddly admit "that'ld probably kill me"
THE VOICE OF REASON
per: Stewart
AF&AM/Shriner/Scoutmaster
130/45 TBS 2shim SS Uni 18/42
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Re: You know you are old when...
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Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 18,825
"Lighten up, Francis."
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"Lighten up, Francis."
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 18,825 |
your doctor is young enough to be your kid.
(I'm not quite that old yet)
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Re: You know you are old when...
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Joined: Feb 2005
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Fe Butt
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Fe Butt
Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 20,096 Likes: 2 |
After you finish watching "Jeopardy", you wonder what's comin' up on the History Channel.
OR....
Like something that happened tonight to me.
The wife didn't feel like cooking, so I told her I'd drive over to this fast food Mexican restaurant and pick up some fajitas. I get there and there's three people ahead of me in line all gabbin' away on their Bluetooths. Right after the Twentysomething young lady in front of me finished her call, I couldn't resist asking her the following question: "Excuse me, but was there a memo out that I've evidently missed that says EVERYBODY is NOW to be on the phone 24 hours a day?"
As she turned around to see who said that, I smiled my "ol' killer smile" at her(emphasis on that "ol' part there now of course) in order to soften the moment, and she replied "I know, I know, but that's the way the world is today, ya know."
To which I replied back, "Yep, I guess so. And unfortunately for you, you're probably gonna have to live in it a heck of a lot longer than I am!"
(now THAT'S when you know you're old!!!)
Yep! Just like a good Single Malt Scotch, you might call me "an acquired taste" TOO.(among the many OTHER things you may care to call me, of course)
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Re: You know you are old when...
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Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 23,197 Likes: 56
Fe Butt
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Fe Butt
Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 23,197 Likes: 56 |
you can't read the fine print on anything.
you feel guilty for thinking how hot that young girl is because she is younger than your kids.
I learned all I need to know about life by killing smart people and eating their brains.
Eat right ,Exercise ,Stay fit, Die Anyway!
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Re: You know you are old when...
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Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 5,172
Saddle Sore
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Saddle Sore
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 5,172 |
You realize you don't have to prove anything to anybody.
Old cliches became old cliches because they are true.
Good friends are what make good times.
More flags
More fun!
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Re: You know you are old when...
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Joined: Jun 2007
Posts: 529
Adjunct
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Adjunct
Joined: Jun 2007
Posts: 529 |
I knew I was getting old the first time I heard Guns 'N Roses on a classic rock station.
2005 America, green/gray, gutted stock pipes, tall sissy bar w/ luggage rack, Saddleman's dual touring seat and Tourmaster saddlebags (and sissybar bag).
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 Re: You know you are old when...
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Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 2,626
Loquacious
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Loquacious
Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 2,626 |
The first time I had a "I'm getting old(er)" moment, I was nineteen. I noticed that, for the first time in my life, I was older than the girl in the Playboy centerfold. Now I have jackets that are older than them. 
Steelheart- '03 Speedmaster Black/Yellow
The Hayabusa Killa
16" Shorties/140 mains/Airbox drilled
Procom CDI
"There is no cure for Celibacy. But we can treat the symptoms."
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Re: You know you are old when...
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Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 19
Complete Newb
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Complete Newb
Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 19 |
When the wife comes back from a french pastry shop with breakfast, she gets the daughter a yummy cherry strudel, and buys you ....a bran muffin.
To add insult to injury the daughter says, "Hey Dad that's natures broom." What?
In the land of the insane when you look around and find you are like everyone else, you discover that you are normal.
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Re: You know you are old when...
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Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 1,680
Learned Hand
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Learned Hand
Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 1,680 |
Wait... why did I come into this thread? Dang...
Thom
I might be wrong, I sometimes am.
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Re: You know you are old when...
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Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 1,806
Learned Hand
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Learned Hand
Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 1,806 |
You say you had that alblum on 8-track, and here whats a 8-track?
Chris
Pain heals, Chicks dig scars, and Glory last forever.
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Re: You know you are old when...
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Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 1,836 Likes: 5
Learned Hand
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Learned Hand
Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 1,836 Likes: 5 |
When you begin to think Angela Landsberry is 'Hot'
2004 Triumph Speedmaster (J Lo) 2006 Yamaha Stratoliner (Adele)
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Re: You know you are old when...
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Joined: Feb 2006
Posts: 3,017
Loquacious
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Loquacious
Joined: Feb 2006
Posts: 3,017 |
Quote:
When you begin to think Angela Landsberry is 'Hot'
that's when I'd 
Mark
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Re: You know you are old when...
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Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 6,681 Likes: 1
Bar Shake
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Bar Shake
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 6,681 Likes: 1 |
Quote:
When you begin to think Angela Landsberry is 'Hot'
"Catching a yellow jacket in your shirt at seventy miles per hour can double your vocabulary" Author unknown
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Re: You know you are old when...
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Joined: Sep 2007
Posts: 1,668
Learned Hand
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Learned Hand
Joined: Sep 2007
Posts: 1,668 |
Quote:
When you begin to think Angela Landsberry is 'Hot'
25 years ago she was a definite maybe.
Today... I don't think so dude!
Howbeit when He, the Spirit of truth, is come; He will guide you in all truth:
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Re: You know you are old when...
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Joined: Mar 2008
Posts: 401
Adjunct
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Adjunct
Joined: Mar 2008
Posts: 401 |
You know your old, when you're sitting in your favorite armchair and are wondering where the cold draft is coming from.
The path of excess leads to the Palace of Wisdom
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Re: You know you are old when...
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Joined: Mar 2008
Posts: 401
Adjunct
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Adjunct
Joined: Mar 2008
Posts: 401 |
You're asleep, but others worry that you're dead. Your back goes out more often than you do. You quit trying to hold your stomach in, no matter who walks into the room. You buy a compass for the dash of your car/truck. You're proud of your lawn mower. Your best friend is dating someone half their age, and isn't breaking any laws. Your arms are almost too short to read the newspaper. You sing along with the elevator music. You would rather go to work than stay home sick. You enjoy hearing about other people's operations. You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge. People call at 9:00 p.m. and ask, "Did I wake you?" You answer a question with, "Because I said so." You send money to PBS. The end of your tie doesn't come anywhere near the top of your pants. You take a metal detector to the beach. You know what the word "equity" means. You can't remember the last time you laid on the floor to watch television. Your ears are hairier than your head. You talk about "good grass" and you're referring to someone's lawn. You get into a heated argument about pension plans. You got cable for The Weather Channel. You can go bowling without drinking. You have a party and the neighbors don't even realize it. You find yourself smiling at this list. 
Last edited by Pony; 08/08/2008 9:02 AM.
The path of excess leads to the Palace of Wisdom
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Re: You know you are old when...
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Joined: Mar 2008
Posts: 10
Complete Newb
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Complete Newb
Joined: Mar 2008
Posts: 10 |
You read this thread and agree with most of it... except Angela Lansbury. Now Sophia Loren, that has possibilities. 
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Re: You know you are old when...
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Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 3,463
Loquacious
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Loquacious
Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 3,463 |
Quote:
Your back goes out more often than you do.
HEY! NO FAIR!
And I'm younger than most. 
Gina
03 America - Pretty stock - except the TBS wheel... 
06 America - missing, presumed in bits. With it's TBS wheel... 
09 America - It's very blue....
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Re: You know you are old when...
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Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 12,164 Likes: 1
Should be Riding
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Should be Riding
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 12,164 Likes: 1 |
Quote:
I knew I was getting old the first time I heard Guns 'N Roses on a classic rock station.
You know you're getting old when you hear muzak versions of your favorite music from your youth playing in the grocery store or elevators.
Soren
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Re: You know you are old when...
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Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 348
Adjunct
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Adjunct
Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 348 |
you know you're old when..  huh?!!- hey, I most certainly did NOT drift off...i think i'm qualified to know whether i was sleeping or not..impertinent bunch o punks...
I never wanted to lead, and I never wanted to follow.
I just wanted to ride.
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Re: You know you are old when...
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Joined: May 2007
Posts: 730
Adjunct
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Adjunct
Joined: May 2007
Posts: 730 |
Quote:
When you begin to think Angela Landsberry is 'Hot'
She's not bad but I'm more of a Bea Arthur man myself
Let my dying thought be that every mile was fun and let my tombstone read,"They never made one fast enough for me."
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Re: You know you are old when...
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Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 1,836 Likes: 5
Learned Hand
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Learned Hand
Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 1,836 Likes: 5 |
Quote:
Quote:
When you begin to think Angela Landsberry is 'Hot'
She's not bad but I'm more of a Bea Arthur man myself
Oh, contraire, mon ami - Bea has A L W A Y S been HOT. After all, she's a Golden Babe. (Look at those hands and those shoulders and listen to the voice - Makes ya wonder if Aurther wasn't her (?) real first name... 
2004 Triumph Speedmaster (J Lo) 2006 Yamaha Stratoliner (Adele)
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Re: You know you are old when...
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Joined: Mar 2008
Posts: 401
Adjunct
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Adjunct
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The path of excess leads to the Palace of Wisdom
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Re: You know you are old when...
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Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 20,096 Likes: 2
Fe Butt
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Fe Butt
Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 20,096 Likes: 2 |
Quote:
Quote:
Quote:
When you begin to think Angela Landsberry is 'Hot'
She's not bad but I'm more of a Bea Arthur man myself
Oh, contraire, mon ami - Bea has A L W A Y S been HOT. After all, she's a Golden Babe. (Look at those hands and those shoulders and listen to the voice - Makes ya wonder if Aurther wasn't her (?) real first name...
Nah Barry. But if you're going to go that route, I'd say maybe Betty White still might zing a few of my strings.
(if only because she's always seemed to me to have one heck of a sense of humor...and apparently knows, as did Mark Twain, that this planet would be a far better place if there were more dogs and less people on it!) 
Last edited by Dwight; 08/08/2008 11:31 AM.
Yep! Just like a good Single Malt Scotch, you might call me "an acquired taste" TOO.(among the many OTHER things you may care to call me, of course)
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Re: You know you are old when...
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Joined: May 2006
Posts: 3,971
Loquacious
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Loquacious
Joined: May 2006
Posts: 3,971 |
You know you are old when...
You recall eating stones and dirt as a kid,
because food hadn't been invented yet
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Re: You know you are old when...
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Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 4,541
Loquacious
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Loquacious
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 4,541 |
When you walk upstairs your bones creek more than the stairs.
Racing drivers you watched as a kid, now you cheer on their sons.
You see recent pictures of bands that you grew up watching and think, man they are old. Then realize they are the same age as you.
You hear your favorite rock bands music.....in an elevator.
Rebelious music from years past is being used in tv comercials.
Arsenalfan. AKA Mark Able
Seller of fine automobiles.
Jaguar, Land Rover, Porsche of Chattanooga
423-424-4000
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Re: You know you are old when...
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Joined: Aug 2006
Posts: 2,555
Loquacious
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OP
Loquacious
Joined: Aug 2006
Posts: 2,555 |
Quote:
You know you are old when...
You recall eating stones and dirt as a kid,
because food hadn't been invented yet
best one i've seen yet.
You know you are old when...
You remember when you and your buddies, could drive around aimlessly all night, In an Electra 225, on 5 bucks worth of gas.
The percentage you're paying is too high-priced
While you're living beyond all your means
And the man in the suit has just bought a new car
From the profit he's made on your dreams
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Re: You know you are old when...
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Joined: Jan 2007
Posts: 3,465 Likes: 2
Loquacious
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Loquacious
Joined: Jan 2007
Posts: 3,465 Likes: 2 |
Innocent flirtation is responded to with "sir" and references comparing you to her Dad.
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Re: You know you are old when...
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Joined: Mar 2007
Posts: 594
Adjunct
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Adjunct
Joined: Mar 2007
Posts: 594 |
...when you stop at one of those high school cheerleading squad carwashes, and while girls in bikini tops and cutoffs are washing your car - you're flirting with their moms!!!
SFC, US Army (Ret)
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Re: You know you are old when...
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Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 20,096 Likes: 2
Fe Butt
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Fe Butt
Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 20,096 Likes: 2 |
Quote:
...when you stop at one of those high school cheerleading squad carwashes, and while girls in bikini tops and cutoffs are washing your car - you're flirting with their moms!!!
Yeah. And I can see it all now, Sarge  ......
"Oh, THIS medal HERE?! Aah gosh! Well, it's nothing really. I got it for that time in Afghanistan when I saved that orphanage from bein' blown up. But thanks for askin', Ma'am."
(am I RIGHT, you sly devil you?!)  
Yep! Just like a good Single Malt Scotch, you might call me "an acquired taste" TOO.(among the many OTHER things you may care to call me, of course)
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Re: You know you are old when...
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Joined: Mar 2007
Posts: 594
Adjunct
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Adjunct
Joined: Mar 2007
Posts: 594 |
Nah...this is Portland. Here, they firmly believe that I would have got that medal for blowing up the orphanage! However, I will admit that most chicks secretly dig a guy in uniform - and I shamelessly take advantage of that (or did until the engagement)
SFC, US Army (Ret)
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Re: You know you are old when...
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Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 20,096 Likes: 2
Fe Butt
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Fe Butt
Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 20,096 Likes: 2 |
Quote:
Nah...this is Portland. Here, they firmly believe that I would have got that medal for blowing up the orphanage!
Good one, Sarge!!!
Quote:
However, I will admit that most chicks secretly dig a guy in uniform - and I shamelessly take advantage of that (or did until the engagement)
Yeah...I KNEW IT alright!
Yep! Just like a good Single Malt Scotch, you might call me "an acquired taste" TOO.(among the many OTHER things you may care to call me, of course)
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Re: You know you are old when...
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Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 948
3/4 Throttle
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3/4 Throttle
Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 948 |
You are old when you keep a list of all your medications and doctors on a spreadsheet so if you go to a new one you don't have to write it all down. 
Redbike7
2006 America
No amount of skill can overcome gross stupidity. Ask me how I know...never mind, I forgot...
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Re: You know you are old when...
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Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 8,639 Likes: 3
Old Hand
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Old Hand
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 8,639 Likes: 3 |
You keep thinking, "I remember that!" while watching the history channel.
Let's hope there's intelligent life somewhere in space 'cause it's buggar all down here. -- Monte Python
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Re: You know you are old when...
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Joined: May 2007
Posts: 5,068 Likes: 1
Saddle Sore
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Saddle Sore
Joined: May 2007
Posts: 5,068 Likes: 1 |
Quote:
Wait... why did I come into this thread? Dang...
Bernadette ? Bernadette ? Now , we'll have to talk a little bit about that .
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Re: You know you are old when...
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Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 365
Adjunct
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Adjunct
Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 365 |
Quote:
After you finish watching "Jeopardy", you wonder what's comin' up on the History Channel.
HEY----I like the history Channel----and I'm only 60.
07 America, Pacific Blue/New England White.
SSgt. USAF 67-71
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Re: You know you are old when...
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Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 365
Adjunct
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Adjunct
Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 365 |
Quote:
...when you stop at one of those high school cheerleading squad carwashes, and while girls in bikini tops and cutoffs are washing your car - you're flirting with their moms!!!
You are soooo correct. Anna and I were watching the tube the other night, a rerun of CSI. Knowing we had already watched it I started surfing. Came across some cheerleading show---stopped for a couple of seconds----went back to CSI.
07 America, Pacific Blue/New England White.
SSgt. USAF 67-71
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Re: You know you are old when...
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Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 6,308 Likes: 4
Worn Saddle
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Worn Saddle
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 6,308 Likes: 4 |
You know you are old when... You let your farts out slowly in case they aren't just gas.... 
A word to the wise is not necessary. It is the stupid ones who need the advice.
Pat
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Re: You know you are old when...
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Joined: Jul 2008
Posts: 208
Adjunct
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Adjunct
Joined: Jul 2008
Posts: 208 |
Sophia Loren!
I met her in 1964 in the lobby of the NY Daily News building where I worked. I was 22 and she was maybe 30. I about fell over. She spoke to me and boy did she smell good and looked wonderful.
Old Age is creeping up on you when:
1-You never miss an opportunity to use the bathroom when out of the house.
2-You never waste an erection.
3-You never trust that a fart will be a fart.
07 Speedmstr, Long Tors, bags, sissy bar and rack, windshield, engine bars, 2 ww lights, 2 fast eddy stickers and a .45 ACP.
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