 OT Y'all might be a redneck if'n
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Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 8,639 Likes: 3
Old Hand
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OP
Old Hand
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 8,639 Likes: 3 |
UK folk can play too, just substitute cockney, geordie or whatever.
1. On the way home from town, the pavement ends about halfway to your house.
2. You live next door to more cows than people.
3. The pipe your water comes from ends a few hundred feet below ground.
4. The floor of your truck is higher than your front porch.
5. You check the weather report before going to work to decide whether you will need the 4 wheel drive.
Let's hope there's intelligent life somewhere in space 'cause it's buggar all down here. -- Monte Python
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 Re: OT Y'all might be a redneck if'n
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Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 5,268 Likes: 16
Saddle Sore
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Saddle Sore
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 5,268 Likes: 16 |
You helped remove the wheels from the nicest home anyone in you family ever owned.
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Re: OT Y'all might be a redneck if'n
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Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 1,457
Learned Hand
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Learned Hand
Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 1,457 |
Quote:
1. On the way home from town, the pavement ends about halfway to your house.
2. You live next door to more cows than people.
3. The pipe your water comes from ends a few hundred feet below ground.
4. The floor of your truck is higher than your front porch.
5. You check the weather report before going to work to decide whether you will need the 4 wheel drive.
4 out of 5 til my wife said "I'm moving with or without you".
Few of my favorites-
Might be a redneck if you've ever used your ironing board as a buffet table.
Or if you've ever found an automobile while mowing your grass.
Or maybe if people stop at your house and ask if you're having a yard sale.
May be a redneck if you've ever smoked a cigarette to freshen your breath.
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Re: OT Y'all might be a redneck if'n
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Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 8,639 Likes: 3
Old Hand
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OP
Old Hand
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 8,639 Likes: 3 |
The local news refuses to deliver because they are afraid to drive so far from town.
Nobody calls the cops when I go fire my shotgun in the front yard.
Let's hope there's intelligent life somewhere in space 'cause it's buggar all down here. -- Monte Python
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Re: OT Y'all might be a redneck if'n
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Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 380
Adjunct
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Adjunct
Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 380 |
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Re: OT Y'all might be a redneck if'n
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Joined: Sep 2007
Posts: 820
3/4 Throttle
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3/4 Throttle
Joined: Sep 2007
Posts: 820 |
Your wife is also your sister.
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Re: OT Y'all might be a redneck if'n
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Joined: Aug 2006
Posts: 2,555
Loquacious
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Loquacious
Joined: Aug 2006
Posts: 2,555 |
One of my favorites was..
If you go to the family reunion to meet women.
The percentage you're paying is too high-priced
While you're living beyond all your means
And the man in the suit has just bought a new car
From the profit he's made on your dreams
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Re: OT Y'all might be a redneck if'n
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Joined: Aug 2006
Posts: 2,555
Loquacious
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Loquacious
Joined: Aug 2006
Posts: 2,555 |
If you have a 2 dollar walmart digital watch (without the band) double sided taped to you Americas dash where the tach should go.
The percentage you're paying is too high-priced
While you're living beyond all your means
And the man in the suit has just bought a new car
From the profit he's made on your dreams
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Re: OT Y'all might be a redneck if'n
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Joined: Sep 2007
Posts: 1,668
Learned Hand
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Learned Hand
Joined: Sep 2007
Posts: 1,668 |
Quote:
If you have a 2 dollar walmart digital watch (without the band) double sided taped to you Americas dash where the tach should go.
Dang, that was gonna be my next mod!
Howbeit when He, the Spirit of truth, is come; He will guide you in all truth:
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Re: OT Y'all might be a redneck if'n
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Joined: Aug 2006
Posts: 2,555
Loquacious
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Loquacious
Joined: Aug 2006
Posts: 2,555 |
If you like the taste of speedy dry and tire rubber in your Budwieser...you might be a redneck.
The percentage you're paying is too high-priced
While you're living beyond all your means
And the man in the suit has just bought a new car
From the profit he's made on your dreams
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Re: OT Y'all might be a redneck if'n
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Joined: Feb 2006
Posts: 1,690
Learned Hand
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Learned Hand
Joined: Feb 2006
Posts: 1,690 |
If you take a healthy "movement" in your Mom's bathroom, and can't find any air freshener, and you spray "Aqua Net" hairspray to mask the stench in an attempt at salvaging any dignity, you might be a redneck....
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Re: OT Y'all might be a redneck if'n
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Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 18,825
"Lighten up, Francis."
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"Lighten up, Francis."
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 18,825 |
If you post in a thread called "Y'all might be a redneck if'n" you might be a redneck.
Foxworthy is rolling over in his grave. Oh, wait...
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Re: OT Y'all might be a redneck if'n
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Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 20,096 Likes: 2
Fe Butt
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Fe Butt
Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 20,096 Likes: 2 |
Quote:
If you post in a thread called "Y'all might be a redneck if'n" you might be a redneck.
Foxworthy is rolling over in his grave. Oh, wait...
Wait a minute here John!!! Foxworthy's dead now TOO???
Wow!!! I guess Larry the Cable Guy will have that WHOLE "redneck franchise" thing all to himself now!
(...just like now that Carlin's gone, Lewis Black will have THAT whole franchise left to him too, huh?!) 
Yep! Just like a good Single Malt Scotch, you might call me "an acquired taste" TOO.(among the many OTHER things you may care to call me, of course)
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Re: OT Y'all might be a redneck if'n
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Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 6,308 Likes: 4
Worn Saddle
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Worn Saddle
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 6,308 Likes: 4 |
Quote:
UK folk can play too, just substitute cockney, geordie or whatever.
1. On the way home from town, the pavement ends about halfway to your house.
2. You live next door to more cows than people.
3. The pipe your water comes from ends a few hundred feet below ground.
4. The floor of your truck is higher than your front porch.
5. You check the weather report before going to work to decide whether you will need the 4 wheel drive.
Guilty of all five counts.
A word to the wise is not necessary. It is the stupid ones who need the advice.
Pat
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Re: OT Y'all might be a redneck if'n
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Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 5,590
Check Pants
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Check Pants
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 5,590 |
How come growing up, all us kids did anything to "wash off" any country boy residues & odors before hitting college life & the big city, so's the cool kids wouldn't make sport of us. We even went so far as to put bandanas around our heads, instead of in our back pockets. Now come to find out, it's a money-maker 
"It's not what I say that's important, it's what you hear" Red Auerbach
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Re: OT Y'all might be a redneck if'n
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Joined: May 2006
Posts: 2,647
Loquacious
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Loquacious
Joined: May 2006
Posts: 2,647 |
If someone asks you for I.D. and you show them your belt buckle.
06 America 904
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Re: OT Y'all might be a redneck if'n
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Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 8,639 Likes: 3
Old Hand
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OP
Old Hand
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 8,639 Likes: 3 |
I saw another one today when we had to go into town.
Nobody even notices when a pickup drives up the main street towing a trailer full of cow poop.
Let's hope there's intelligent life somewhere in space 'cause it's buggar all down here. -- Monte Python
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Re: OT Y'all might be a redneck if'n
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Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 6,821
Bar Shake
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Bar Shake
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 6,821 |
Saw a bumper sticker~"Cousins are women too".
Contra todo mal, mezcal; contra todo bien, también
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Re: OT Y'all might be a redneck if'n
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Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 18,825
"Lighten up, Francis."
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"Lighten up, Francis."
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 18,825 |
Why do rednecks have their name on the back of their belt?
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Re: OT Y'all might be a redneck if'n
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Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 6,821
Bar Shake
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Bar Shake
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 6,821 |
I think it's considered I.D.
Contra todo mal, mezcal; contra todo bien, también
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Re: OT Y'all might be a redneck if'n
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Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 6,821
Bar Shake
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Bar Shake
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 6,821 |
If your dog leaves the room when you eat.......
If you have ever woke up with a black eye and a hickey.....
If you have been kicked out of the zoo for heckling the monkeys.........
If your kids take a siphon hose to "show and tell"..........
If you've been too drunk to fish..............
Contra todo mal, mezcal; contra todo bien, también
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Re: OT Y'all might be a redneck if'n
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Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 6,821
Bar Shake
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Bar Shake
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 6,821 |
Quote:
How come growing up, all us kids did anything to "wash off" any country boy residues & odors before hitting college life & the big city, so's the cool kids wouldn't make sport of us. We even went so far as to put bandanas around our heads, instead of in our back pockets. Now come to find out, it's a money-maker
Moved to Vegas when I was 13.
The population was about 60,000 at that time. It was huge.
I gradually assimilated, but it took some time.
(Them city kids thought they knew how to fight   )
Contra todo mal, mezcal; contra todo bien, también
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Re: OT Y'all might be a redneck if'n
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Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 18,825
"Lighten up, Francis."
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"Lighten up, Francis."
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 18,825 |
Quote:
I think it's considered I.D.
There's a specific punchline but I might get in trouble (not with the AUP) if I post it. But our rednecks have a sense of humor, don't they? It's really a repurposed cowboy joke anyway...
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Re: OT Y'all might be a redneck if'n
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Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 3,611 Likes: 1
Loquacious
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Loquacious
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 3,611 Likes: 1 |
You think the last words to The Star Spangled Banner are "Gentlemen, start your engines." You think possum is the other white meat.
Stewart
.......
"It's outside your field of expertise."
"Poppycock normally is."
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Re: OT Y'all might be a redneck if'n
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Joined: Jun 2007
Posts: 3,210
Loquacious
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Loquacious
Joined: Jun 2007
Posts: 3,210 |
...If you spend all day mounting a beer can holder to the side of your motorcycle 
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Re: OT Y'all might be a redneck if'n
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Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 138
Adjunct
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Adjunct
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 138 |
you might be a redneck if...
your kitchen table has ever collapsed under the weight of the engine you were rebuilding on it.
stv
GRAND MASTER WIZARD
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Re: OT Y'all might be a redneck if'n
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Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 18,825
"Lighten up, Francis."
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"Lighten up, Francis."
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 18,825 |
So when they pull their head out they remember their name.
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Re: OT Y'all might be a redneck if'n
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Joined: Aug 2006
Posts: 2,555
Loquacious
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Loquacious
Joined: Aug 2006
Posts: 2,555 |
Quote:
...If you spend all day mounting a beer can holder to the side of your motorcycle
I like it I like it alot...consider your idea stolen.
The percentage you're paying is too high-priced
While you're living beyond all your means
And the man in the suit has just bought a new car
From the profit he's made on your dreams
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Re: OT Y'all might be a redneck if'n
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Joined: Jun 2007
Posts: 3,210
Loquacious
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Loquacious
Joined: Jun 2007
Posts: 3,210 |
Quote:
So when they pull their head out they remember their name.
man by now i can even remember the joke and dont feel like reading back on the 2nd page...ahha
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Re: OT Y'all might be a redneck if'n
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Joined: Jun 2007
Posts: 3,210
Loquacious
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Loquacious
Joined: Jun 2007
Posts: 3,210 |
Quote:
Quote:
...If you spend all day mounting a beer can holder to the side of your motorcycle
I like it I like it alot...consider your idea stolen.
wasnt not my idea, i seen the pic in the customs section and thought it belongs in this thread "scraptown" did it to his bike...heres the other side
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