Bonneville America Forums Forums Off Topic Discussion Forums Lounge Rules that Men would like to live by!

We always hear "the rules" From the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side listed in importance.

Please note... these are all numbered "1"ON PURPOSE!

1. Men are NOT mind readers.

1. Learn to work the toilet seats. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a Problem. See a doctor.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.

1. If you won't dress like the Victoria 's Secret girls, don't Expect us to act like soap opera guys.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of them makes you sad or angry, then we meant the other one.

1. You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle, besides, we know you will bring it up again later.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine...Really.

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or golf.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!

1. Did you know men really don't mind Sleeping on the couch. It's like camping.

funny stuff!! I like rule number 1 and rule number 1, those are too true

I think I saw that in EasyRider a few years ago (not that they wrote it, I jus'sayin').

EasyRider has words in it???????

I'll never tell which ones apply to my life.

Yeah, I learned all of that stuff from my big brother years ago.

Thank God I'm divorced

I have a MAUVE shirt , and a PUMPKIN one as well . The mauve goes well with black . White gold bling for that combo . The pumpkin is for earth tones , like natural linen , and yellow gold , with medium brown leather .
A shotgun formation ? That's me with my Rem.870 Wingmaster 12 , but NEVER in a pumpkin shirt .

if I send that list to my wife I'll be doing alot of camping, lol!

I especially like the very last rule #1... :-)