 A Dog's Letter to God
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Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 1,193
Learned Hand
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OP
Learned Hand
Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 1,193 |
Got this from a friend...
Dog's letter to God
Dear God: Why do humans smell the flowers, but seldom, if ever, smell one another?
Dear God: When we get to heaven, can we sit on your couch? Or is it still the same old story?
Dear God: Why are there cars named after the jaguar, the cougar, the mustang, the colt, the stingray, and the rabbit, but not ONE named for a dog? How often do you see a cougar riding around? We do love a nice ride! Would it be so hard to rename the 'Chrysler Eagle' the 'Chrysler Beagle' ?
Dear God: If a dog barks his head off in the forest and no human hears him, is he still a bad dog?
Dear God: We dogs can understand human verbal instructions, hand s ignals, whistles, horns, clickers, beepers, scent ID's, electromagnetic energy fields, and Frisbee flight paths. What do humans understand?
Dear God: More meatballs, less spaghetti, please.
Dear God: Are there mailmen in Heaven? If there are, will I have to apologize?
Dear God: Let me give you a list of just some of the things I must remember to be a good dog.
1 . I will not eat the cats' food before they eat it or after they throw it up.
2. I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs, etc., just because I like the way they smell.
3. The Litter Box is not a cookie jar.
4. The sofa is not a 'face towel'.
5. The garbage collector is not stealing our stuff.
6. I will not play tug-of-war with Dad's underwear when he's on the toilet.
7. Sticking my nose into someone's crotch is an unacceptable way of saying 'hello'.
8. I don't need to suddenly stand straight up when I'm under the coffee table .
9. I must shake the rainwater out of my fur before entering the house - not after.
10. I will not come in from outside and immediately drag my butt.
11. I will not sit in the middle of the living room and lick my crotch.
12. The cat is not a ' squeaky toy' so when I play with him and he makes that noise, it's usually not a good thing.
FROM: THE DOG
P.S. Dear God: When I get to Heaven may I have my testicles back?
"Let your soul shine,
It's better than sunshine,
It's better than moonshine,
****** sure better than rain."
-ABB
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Re: A Dog's Letter to God
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Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 788
3/4 Throttle
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3/4 Throttle
Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 788 |
I LMAO!!!!
tears rolling down my eyes...
Wife looking at me goofy too
Thanks for sharing
07 TBA Pacific Blue and White.. stock for now!
A bike has half the wheels my cage does.. but 3x the fun factor
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Re: A Dog's Letter to God
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Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 7,630 Likes: 7
Monkey Butt
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Monkey Butt
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 7,630 Likes: 7 |
Several years ago a lady I worked with said she was really going to fix her husband for moving out on her. I got in trouble for saying "That's probably why he left, he saw what happened when you fixed your dog." Almost everyone laughed.
We all like to think of ourselves as rugged individualists. But when push comes to shove most of us are sheep who do what we are told. Worst of all, a lot of us become unpaid agents of whoever is controlling the agenda by enforcing the current dogma on the few rugged individualists who actually exist.
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Re: A Dog's Letter to God
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Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 23,243 Likes: 64
Fe Butt
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Fe Butt
Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 23,243 Likes: 64 |
I don't remember writing that. 
I learned all I need to know about life by killing smart people and eating their brains.
Eat right ,Exercise ,Stay fit, Die Anyway!
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Re: A Dog's Letter to God
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Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 6,821
Bar Shake
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Bar Shake
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 6,821 |
Quote:
I don't remember writing that.
You were probably traumatized by that whole "testicle" thing 
Contra todo mal, mezcal; contra todo bien, también
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Re: A Dog's Letter to God
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Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 20,096 Likes: 2
Fe Butt
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Fe Butt
Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 20,096 Likes: 2 |
Quote:
Quote:
I don't remember writing that.
You were probably traumatized by that whole "testicle" thing
Yep! Just like a good Single Malt Scotch, you might call me "an acquired taste" TOO.(among the many OTHER things you may care to call me, of course)
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Re: A Dog's Letter to God
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Joined: Mar 2007
Posts: 387
Adjunct
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Adjunct
Joined: Mar 2007
Posts: 387 |
This is going in my Sunday school lesson plan, under "alternative prayer"
Sono qui per la birra
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Re: A Dog's Letter to God
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Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 7,630 Likes: 7
Monkey Butt
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Monkey Butt
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 7,630 Likes: 7 |
We all like to think of ourselves as rugged individualists. But when push comes to shove most of us are sheep who do what we are told. Worst of all, a lot of us become unpaid agents of whoever is controlling the agenda by enforcing the current dogma on the few rugged individualists who actually exist.
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Re: A Dog's Letter to God
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Joined: Mar 2005
Posts: 1,284
Learned Hand
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Learned Hand
Joined: Mar 2005
Posts: 1,284 |
If my testicles were removed,I would not be "fixed", merely on the road to repair.
Strangler
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Re: A Dog's Letter to God
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Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 6,821
Bar Shake
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Bar Shake
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 6,821 |
Contra todo mal, mezcal; contra todo bien, también
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