 Winter is hard, so.....
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Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 1,193
Learned Hand
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OP
Learned Hand
Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 1,193 |
Winter is harder for me than any other season....I miss riding and warm sun, miss hopping on the bike for even a quick hour out on local backroads to recharge my batteries and blow the stress out of my head from work, family, etc. I'd mentioned in the Winter Rally thread that I help my mother care for my aunt- she's 76 years old, cardiac and respiratory disease, she's failing, and not doing so gracefully. When I was a kid she was my "special aunt", but over the last 15 years she has chosen to become mean-spirited, bitter and extremely difficult- entitled, selfish, needing lots of care and encouragement, but resentful when it's provided. It's actually quite sad, as it isn't safe to extend love and tenderness towards her as she approaches her final days, but at the same time her health issues need constant attention and advocacy. My mother is 80, so she's no spring chicken, although she's an amazing woman, loving, very active, involved in life, but understandably needs assistance caring for my aunt, and periodically needs my assistance with her own needs and aging issues....This "adult caregiver" business get's exhausting, especially when caring for someone (my aunt) who has chosen "misery and despair" over "generativity" according to Erikson's developmental theory. Anyway....I just booked my daughter and I a cruise for April- boarding in Miami for 5 nights, Turks & Caicos and then the Bahamas! I called my sister, who avoids dealing with the family stuff, and told her that she would be on duty the week I'm gone. She said, "But that's school vacation..." I said, "Yup! So if if you want you can come stay at my house with the girls, with Em and I gone there will be plenty of room! I'm giving you lots of notice so you can plan  ". Enough already. I've told Em that there are only a few rules for the trip (this will be our third cruise together, it's a great way for a mother to travel with a child): - No alcohol or drugs (doesn't need saying, fortunately at this time, but I said it anyway) - No kissing or hooking up with boys (she gave me "the look" and rolled her eyes) -No falling off the boat -Once a day she needs to bring me a slushy fruity drink to my lounge chair with a different color umbrella in it. I can't wait. Sometimes I've just got to take off the Superwoman cape and gauntlets and leave the country.
"Let your soul shine,
It's better than sunshine,
It's better than moonshine,
****** sure better than rain."
-ABB
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Re: Winter is hard, so.....
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Joined: May 2007
Posts: 6,432 Likes: 1
Worn Saddle
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Worn Saddle
Joined: May 2007
Posts: 6,432 Likes: 1 |
The role reversal of caretaker isn't easy. Take some time to breathe and recharge your batteries. I would say this, though, it's "safer" to extend love than to withhold it, even when it seems poorly received. Of course, that only becomes obvious upon reflection as the present offers its own unique obstacles to peace.
A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort. Herm Albright (1876 - 1944)
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Re: Winter is hard, so.....
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Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 1,193
Learned Hand
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OP
Learned Hand
Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 1,193 |
Quote:
I would say this, though, it's "safer" to extend love than to withhold it, even when it seems poorly received. Of course, that only becomes obvious upon reflection as the present offers its own unique obstacles to peace.
Very true! I find that I can best love my aunt now through my actions as advocate (running interference with medical providers, dealing with insurance issues, etc.) and by supporting my mother in her direct daily care of my aunt ( dropping up food, running errands, listening to her share her pain about the situation- she's losing her only sister, and one of her last remaining close peers.) Love is a verb.
"Let your soul shine,
It's better than sunshine,
It's better than moonshine,
****** sure better than rain."
-ABB
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Re: Winter is hard, so.....
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Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 1,680
Learned Hand
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Learned Hand
Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 1,680 |
Good for you on all counts! You deserve a break and good for you for making that call. My wife was the local kid and we took care of her mother right to the end. Her siblings lived far away and came when their lives allowed, but it is still hardest on the day to day caregivers.
Enjoy the cruise. I hope the sun melts your cares away for that week.
Thom
I might be wrong, I sometimes am.
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Re: Winter is hard, so.....
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Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 6,060 Likes: 6
Worn Saddle
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Worn Saddle
Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 6,060 Likes: 6 |
Been there! You and others like you are to the soul of the world. I shared care of my beloved grandmother for almost 5 years after her stroke. She was a ball of fire and is where I get my hyperness from. (As well as my high moral and sense of right and wrong.) After the stroke, she never left her wheel chair. But I loved to wheel her around and we took car trips in some of my fun cars, including my sports car.She slowly dehabilitated year by year and that was hard to watch. Luckily, she never lost her sweet nature. I truly sympathise with you and suggest that you get your aunt out as much as is possible. Try to be postive, and I know that's hard. The only real reward is that I believe that deep down she really loves and appreciates what you do for her. God bless you and your Aunt.
Fidelis et Fortis
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Re: Winter is hard, so.....
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Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 1,307
Learned Hand
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Learned Hand
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 1,307 |
I want to go!!!!!!! take me please!!!!!!!! We can share a bed, just no getting fresh young lady!!!
Dont like what you see??? Big red X in the top right of your screen will fix it!
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Re: Winter is hard, so.....
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Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 7,643
Monkey Butt
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Monkey Butt
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 7,643 |
Quote:
Anyway....I just booked my daughter and I a cruise for April- boarding in Miami for 5 nights, Turks & Caicos and then the Bahamas!
but will it be as relaxing as you think, you will still be thinking of your mother and aunt.
I look after my mother, who is not that bad really, but just needs help with shopping and a few minor errands. When we go away I ask my older brother to take her shopping but sometimes he forgets and it could be days before she sees anybody at all.
It's funny how some family will rally round for their parents others do a bunk, I will always be around for my mother as she was for me when I was growing up
Ray(UK)
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Re: Winter is hard, so.....
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Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 12,877
Should be Riding
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Should be Riding
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 12,877 |
Good for you Paula!! Let's be sure to catch up at the Bennington bash to share stories. My mom is the second of 7 kids, and when my grandfather was ailing, and now with my grandmother having early Alzheimers, she has been thru a lot. Two of her siblings are local to my grandmother, but my mom, who is 90 min away, was spending MORE time with her at one point! And whenever there are "family issues", my mom seems to be the lightening rod of angst. The go-between. It's been really hard at times. Luckily, my uncle decided to move in with her, but he has his own issues, and a 12 year old son, to deal with. And my grandmother can only get worse unfortunately... On the other hand, when my other grandmother died a little over a year ago, my dad and his older sister really rallied to help take care of their younger sister who requires care. They worked things out right away and got her a bed in a local nursing home where my grandmother used to volunteer (at age 89...). She's the "spring chicken" around there at age 55, and is more talkative now than I ever knew her to be. The only down side is sometimes it's hard to find her when we go visit because she's off doing something! Had to pull her out of a movie last time  Have fun on your trip!! Keep an eye on the daughter!
Benny
Black & Silver '02
Too many mods to list
Not enough miles ridden
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Re: Winter is hard, so.....
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Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 1,193
Learned Hand
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OP
Learned Hand
Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 1,193 |
Thanks everyone! It's a challenge doing the sandwich generation thing. I'm blessed to have tax money coming that'll give me the chance to take the cruise, have some mother/daughter time, take some time to detach, have some time on the water and the beaches. I had hoped to be able to do a Windjammer (sailing) cruise, but it was too pricy for me right now. A sailing cruise on a tall ship is on my list of must dos. Benny- Bennington is another focal point of sanity- LOL- knowing that I'm getting away again in May is keeping me going too! I'm so looking forward to it (and to the good ju-ju for me when we hit East Dorset  )! I may even head up to VT on Thursday, the folks I'm planning to ride with are heading up Friday- I made my reservation for Thursday through Sunday just in case I need to extend the trip.
"Let your soul shine,
It's better than sunshine,
It's better than moonshine,
****** sure better than rain."
-ABB
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Re: Winter is hard, so.....
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Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 6,821
Bar Shake
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Bar Shake
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 6,821 |
Bless you Paula. My mother's last years (she died at 88, in Oct. of '06) were similar to what you're going through with your aunt. She had gradually developed dementia, perhaps Alzheimer's, but it wasn't conclusively diagnosed as such. I learned with my father (who died in 1980 of respiratory failure) that the lack of oxygen to the brain caused by the diminished lung capacity causes damage resulting in dementia-like symptoms. Not trying to be a downer here, just wanting to encourage you. Your aunt is still the same special aunt you grew up knowing and perhaps (probably) has not chosen to behave the way she is. It's the results of her disease. As much as it seems contrary to our nature, it may be best to patronize her. She won't get better and her last days will be less stressful for all involved. Have fun!!! Cruising is a blast  
Contra todo mal, mezcal; contra todo bien, también
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Re: Winter is hard, so.....
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Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 322
Adjunct
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Adjunct
Joined: Jun 2006
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You've got that right.
My mom has dementia, my Aunt had Alzheimer's, neither is good. It is a disease and personalities do change drastically.
Although most people even hate to think of it, if it's possible, having someone in some type of nursing home or even day care is way better, not only for them but for the caregivers. Taking care of elderly is way harder than taking care of kids!
My mom is way happier and get much better care in a nursing/rehabilitation home than I what could give her. I know, I tried. When it got to where I could not leave her for more than an hour or two, that was it. Anyway, it really doesn't matter anymore, she has both short and long term memory loss. Sometimes she knows who I am, but not always.
Sometimes I'm her daughter, or her sister or her niece..<G>
Funny, she'd sit up late at night, I'd ask her why... Oh, she was waiting for her mother to get home. At that time she was already 94! but would never admit to it. She'll be 97 this June. Just don't tell her, she gets mad if anyone says she's old! <LOL>
Mary
Krashdagon aka Snappy
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Re: Winter is hard, so.....
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Joined: May 2007
Posts: 5,068 Likes: 1
Saddle Sore
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Saddle Sore
Joined: May 2007
Posts: 5,068 Likes: 1 |
Rage , rage against the dying of the light .
Read Dylan Thomas' " Do Not Go Gentle Into That Good Night .
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Re: Winter is hard, so.....
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Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 1,204
Learned Hand
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Learned Hand
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 1,204 |
Being a single dad I know how you feel. My daughter and I take trips whenever she is on school break......Angelis
1200CC BIG BORE, W/WISECO PISTONS,.250 STROKED CRANK, PORTED/POLISHED HEADS AND LARGER VALVES, CUSTOM WELDED EXHUAST, DUAL 42MM MIKUNI CARBS.
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Re: Winter is hard, so.....
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Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 1,193
Learned Hand
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OP
Learned Hand
Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 1,193 |
Quote:
I learned with my father (who died in 1980 of respiratory failure) that the lack of oxygen to the brain caused by the diminished lung capacity causes damage resulting in dementia-like symptoms.
Not trying to be a downer here, just wanting to encourage you. Your aunt is still the same special aunt you grew up knowing and perhaps (probably) has not chosen to behave the way she is. It's the results of her disease.
As much as it seems contrary to our nature, it may be best to patronize her. She won't get better and her last days will be less stressful for all involved.
Bill- thanks for your words! I've read now quite a bit about the damage that COPD and chronic oxygen deprivation does to the brain (and personality). My Mum (who's a retired nurse) and I have both advocated to my aunt (also a retired nurse) and to the docs/hospitals/pulmonary rehab placements over the last several years for an anti-depressant as part of her drug protocol- my aunt refuses to take one, although she will on occasion pop an Ativan (when pressured at home, or when in the hospital for an acute episode) for the anxiety that also circles along with difficulty breathing. (This is where her "choice" comes in, it's been explained to her repeatedly that an anti-depressant is common as part of the array of treatments prescribed. She also refuses to stay compliant with pulmonary/physical therapy following her acute hospital stays and most often insists on leaving skilled nursing/rehab placements early, against medical advise.)
I try to hold in my mind the pictures of who my aunt used to be, like you said- and I pray for the mercy and compassion to care for her in the spirit of those pictures and past experiences together. It must be so horrible to be struggling like she is ,and as a retired nurse, to know what's coming.
"Let your soul shine,
It's better than sunshine,
It's better than moonshine,
****** sure better than rain."
-ABB
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Re: Winter is hard, so.....
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Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 1,193
Learned Hand
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OP
Learned Hand
Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 1,193 |
Mary- it is way harder than taking care of kids! With my daughter, I can enforce what I think is best for her. With my aunt, and my mother to a much lesser degree with her needs, they are adults who are used to independance and making thier own decisions.
APWB- Thanks!
"Do not go gentle into that good night,
Old age should burn and rave at close of day;
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
Though wise men at their end know dark is right,
Because their words had forked no lightning they
Do not go gentle into that good night.
Good men, the last wave by, crying how bright
Their frail deeds might have danced in a green bay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
Wild men who caught and sang the sun in flight,
And learn, too late, they grieved it on its way,
Do not go gentle into that good night.
Grave men, near death, who see with blinding sight
Blind eyes could blaze like meteors and be gay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
And you, my father, there on the sad height,
Curse, bless, me now with your fierce tears, I pray.
Do not go gentle into that good night.
Rage, rage against the dying of the light."
Angelis- any good trips planned?
"Let your soul shine,
It's better than sunshine,
It's better than moonshine,
****** sure better than rain."
-ABB
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Re: Winter is hard, so.....
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Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 1,457
Learned Hand
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Learned Hand
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 1,457 |
Hi Paula. I can commisirate with you. It seems many in our generation are or will be going through what you are now. I would say within 2 years my mother won't be able to live alone. She lives in FL and hates the cold but she won't have much choice but to move up with me. Glad to see you getting away. I will see you at the Bennington Bash.
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Re: Winter is hard, so.....
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Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 322
Adjunct
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Adjunct
Joined: Jun 2006
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It's also harder for the caregivers to make choices for the person they're taking care of, especially a parent.
Although my mom still thinks she has to fuss and make sure I'm eating properly! <LOL>
And she will not listen to me, even when I'd tell her exactly the same thing the doctor would tell her.
But she would listen to my cousins, one's a doctor and one's a nurse..... sheese..... I just dont' know nuttin!
so it's way better for both of us that she's in a decent nursing home. It's not fancy, but it's clean and the people there care.
Good luck and prayers...
Caregivers need all the help they can get!
Mary
Krashdagon aka Snappy
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Re: Winter is hard, so.....
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Joined: May 2007
Posts: 5,068 Likes: 1
Saddle Sore
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Saddle Sore
Joined: May 2007
Posts: 5,068 Likes: 1 |
Quote:
Rage , rage against the dying of the light .
Read Dylan Thomas' " Do Not Go Gentle Into That Good Night .
Well , it's time for a Robert Frostie !
Natures' first green is gold
Her hardest hue to hold .
Her early leaf's a flower
But only so an hour .
Then leaf subsides to leaf
So Eden sank to grief .
So dawn goes down today
Nothing gold can stay .
( since we're on this theme )
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Re: Winter is hard, so.....
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Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 20,096 Likes: 2
Fe Butt
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Fe Butt
Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 20,096 Likes: 2 |
Okay! In that case I'll try my hand at some of this here poetry stuff too.....
Roses are red
Paula is blue(but hopefully that cruise will help)
And I'm very impressed(no kidding, I am)
With all the help she's gotten from you(people here)
...OR...
This place has
some of
the best folks
you'd ever wish to
meet
Doesn't it?
(have fun on your trip, Paula...you deserve it)
Last edited by Dwight; 01/15/2008 1:04 AM.
Yep! Just like a good Single Malt Scotch, you might call me "an acquired taste" TOO.(among the many OTHER things you may care to call me, of course)
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Re: Winter is hard, so.....
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Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 2,968 Likes: 1
Loquacious
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Loquacious
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 2,968 Likes: 1 |
Paula,
Sorry to hear about your aunt. I hope God gives your the grace to manage this tough situation. I saw simalar behaivor from my sister Anne when she was terminally ill with cancer. She became very bitter and angry. Sometimes anger is caused by fear. I would remember the good times and try to forgive your aunt for being difficult. I'm glad you plan on taking some mental health time for you and your daugther.
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Re: Winter is hard, so.....
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Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 2,362
Oil Expert
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Oil Expert
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 2,362 |
I'm a carer for a bunch of intellectually handicapped people, so I know where you're coming from. Some of them can be great, but then there's the ones who seem to enjoy nothing more than making your job harder than it needs to be, and who seem to enjoy getting you frustrated or annoyed.
Enjoy your breaks where you can find them, you've earned them.
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Re: Winter is hard, so.....
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Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 4,541
Loquacious
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Loquacious
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 4,541 |
I take my hat off to you Paula. What you are doing is simply wonderful. Most people in todays world are happy to just pack their elderly relatives off to a nursing home and forget about them until its visiting time.
Enjoy your cruise, sounds like you have earned it. Though i cant help but think that your body will be on the ship enjoying the sun and relaxation but your mind will be at home worring and caring for your mom and aunt.
Last edited by Arsenalfan; 01/15/2008 1:26 PM.
Arsenalfan. AKA Mark Able
Seller of fine automobiles.
Jaguar, Land Rover, Porsche of Chattanooga
423-424-4000
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Re: Winter is hard, so.....
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Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 20,096 Likes: 2
Fe Butt
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Fe Butt
Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 20,096 Likes: 2 |
Quote:
I'm a carer for a bunch of intellectually handicapped people, so I know where you're coming from. Some of them can be great, but then there's the ones who seem to enjoy nothing more than making your job harder than it needs to be, and who seem to enjoy getting you frustrated or annoyed.
Wow Matt! Now I'm starting to see why Phil has enlisted your help as one of our Moderators.
With THAT kind of resume, you were a NATURAL to help keep some of those more "frustrating" BA.com members in line around here, huh?!
Don't those kinds o' people(and I'm NOT gonna name names here, mind you...) just wanna make you tear your hair out sometimes, dude!
Last edited by Dwight; 01/15/2008 11:55 AM.
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Re: Winter is hard, so.....
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Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 12,877
Should be Riding
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Should be Riding
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 12,877 |
Quote:
Well , it's time for a Robert Frostie !
Natures' first green is gold
Her hardest hue to hold .
Her early leaf's a flower
But only so an hour .
Then leaf subsides to leaf
So Eden sank to grief .
So dawn goes down today
Nothing gold can stay .
( since we're on this theme )
Hey Paula, we can go see Robert Frost's grave while we're at it too in Bennington!
Benny
Black & Silver '02
Too many mods to list
Not enough miles ridden
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Re: Winter is hard, so.....
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Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 1,193
Learned Hand
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OP
Learned Hand
Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 1,193 |
Quote:
This place has
some of
the best folks
you'd ever wish to
meet
Doesn't it?
Truth.
It is so very helpful to hear everyone's encouragement, kind words, poetry, and empathy!
"Let your soul shine,
It's better than sunshine,
It's better than moonshine,
****** sure better than rain."
-ABB
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Re: Winter is hard, so.....
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Joined: Feb 2006
Posts: 1,690
Learned Hand
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Learned Hand
Joined: Feb 2006
Posts: 1,690 |
Good for you Paula, trust me, you deserve it. My father passed away in 2002, he suffered Alzheimers and dimentia severely, and had to be placed in a home after several visits from the Sheriffs office after he had left the house in the wee hours....4 months in the home, and he passed away at the age of 71. Have a good time, we'll be thinkin of ya....Mark and Kimmy.
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Re: Winter is hard, so.....
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Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 582
Adjunct
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Adjunct
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 582 |
One thing that helped my mom-in-law with pop was a company called Home Instead. They're around the country, and they were great- washed him up, kept him on his meds, and even got him to laugh (he had a great sense of humor). I would recommend them to anyone.
"Got the wind in my face the road goes on for miles...."
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Re: Winter is hard, so.....
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Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 6,821
Bar Shake
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Bar Shake
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 6,821 |
Quote:
Quote:
I'm a carer for a bunch of intellectually handicapped people, so I know where you're coming from. Some of them can be great, but then there's the ones who seem to enjoy nothing more than making your job harder than it needs to be, and who seem to enjoy getting you frustrated or annoyed.
Wow Matt! Now I'm starting to see why Phil has enlisted your help as one of our Moderators.
With THAT kind of resume, you were a NATURAL to help keep some of those more "frustrating" BA.com members in line around here, huh?!
Don't those kinds o' people(and I'm NOT gonna name names here, mind you...) just wanna make you tear your hair out sometimes, dude!
I thought that's what he was taliking about 
Contra todo mal, mezcal; contra todo bien, también
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Re: Winter is hard, so.....
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Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 6,821
Bar Shake
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Bar Shake
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Posts: 6,821 |
And Paula,
There's more. The last months of my Mom's life she was in hospice care.
The hospice people gave us this paper. You may already know these, but I'll post it anyway. I copied it from their web site:
There are FIVE stages of dying.
There is in all of us a curiosity about dying. Regardless of your religious beliefs there have to be some doubts or shadows of uncertainty. There are five stages involved, some have time to proceed into each stage and come to a peaceful resolve.
DENIAL: I'm too young to die. I'm not ready to die (is anyone ever really ready?). You don't just get up some morning and say, "Well, I'm ready to die today". Even when a physician informs one that nothing can be done for them the feeling that some mistake must have been made is in the dying person's mind. The prediction from ones physician of imminent death can do several things. It can give you time to prepare, take care of business, close doors, make amends. The shock begins to ebb as you come to grips with approaching death.
ANGER: Suddenly you are not in control of your life, or death. You have no choice......you are going to die. You have always known this, no one has come out and stated it as a fact before. It makes you angry, you feel so helpless especially at first, then guilt climbs upon your back Anger is directed at everyone and no one in particular. It is a sense of loss of control which is likely not a new feeling if you have endured a long illness. It is normal. Anger is in its own, a sense of strength. It can also be debilitating.
BARGAINING: You are willing now to compromise. No use denying it, anger comes and goes so perhaps you can make a deal with God! You are willing to promise to do or not to do specific things if only you can be given more time. It can be based on an upcoming event that is important to you. You can be suffering from insecurities regarding a member of your family or a loved one who you feel is yet dependent on you. There can be a rift that has never been eliminated that needs to be further addressed. You are not free to go until these reasons can be alleviated once and for all. You are hoping yet and eager to deal!
DEPRESSION: This is such a normal part of the process of preparing to die. You are already depressed about your incapability's in dealing with responsibility, projects and the situation of every day life. Symptoms of terminal illness are impossible to ignore. You are fully aware that death is inevitable. Aware, angry and filled with sorrow and here again the culprit of guilt sneaks in as you mourn for yourself and the pain that this is causing you family and loved ones. Another totally NORMAL phase.
ACCEPTANCE: This comes after you work though the numerous conflicts and feelings that death brings. You can succumb to the inevitable as you become more tired and weakness hangs on. You become less emotional, calmness arrives and banishes fear along with joy or sadness. You realize the battle is almost over and now it's really alright for you to die.
Contra todo mal, mezcal; contra todo bien, también
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Re: Winter is hard, so.....
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Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 1,193
Learned Hand
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OP
Learned Hand
Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 1,193 |
Bill- I really like your Stages of Death post...Kubler Ross wrote the book, On Death and Dying, which I read years ago when my father died....but I read it then from the perspective of a grieving daughter. I like how this description speaks from the voice of the patient's process. The hard part is that my Aunt has always had "issues"....so her process with her illness, and now her failing, is colored by her emotional and mental lifelong patterns (learned helplessness, passive-aggressiveness, entitlement, severe co-dependency, etc), which were worsening even before her COPD/cardiac diagnosis 10 years ago (which adds it's own "stuff" as we've talked about with the 02 deprivation, etc.). But as I read your post, I'm trying to visualize in my mind my "special aunt" from my childhood, and recognise that in there somewhere is a hurting, frightened woman trying to come to grips with those stages on some level. Thanks. You folks are all great. 
"Let your soul shine,
It's better than sunshine,
It's better than moonshine,
****** sure better than rain."
-ABB
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Re: Winter is hard, so.....
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Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 12,877
Should be Riding
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Should be Riding
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 12,877 |
Luckily, or perhaps unluckily, my grandfather knew exactly what was going on when he was released to hospice care just before he died. When the nurse introduced herself she said "how are you today" he said "Well I'm talking to a hospice nurse, aren't I?" He always had a way with words...
Benny
Black & Silver '02
Too many mods to list
Not enough miles ridden
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