 Dealing with telemarketers
|
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 8,639 Likes: 3
Old Hand
|
OP
Old Hand
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 8,639 Likes: 3 |
A friend of mine once used this one after the same telemarketer called the 5t time.
F. Well, that sounds very interesting, but I never buy anything over the phone.
T. Oh? And, why is that?
F. Well, I'm Amish and my religion forbids me to use a phone.
T. But, you're using a phone right now.
F. What? OH NO! OH MY GOD! SEE WHAT YOU'VE DONE? OH MY GOD!
He didn't get anymore calls from that company.
Let's hope there's intelligent life somewhere in space 'cause it's buggar all down here. -- Monte Python
|
|
|
Re: Dealing with telemarketers
|
Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 879
3/4 Throttle
|
|
3/4 Throttle
Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 879 |
Another great way is if you've got a 5 year old in the house, call them to the phone and tell them to tell the man/lady what they did at school today.....
If you do it today you MIGHT regret it. If you CAN'T do it tomorrow you WILL regret it.
|
|
|
Re: Dealing with telemarketers
|
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 18,825
"Lighten up, Francis."
|
|
"Lighten up, Francis."
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 18,825 |
Cancel your land line. I think I've only received one telemarketing call on my cell phone and I made their ears burn. The litany of profanity would've made a sailor blush.
The funny thing is I still use my old landline number for things like store frequent shopper cards. What do I care? What could I possibly want to talk to them about?
|
|
|
Re: Dealing with telemarketers
|
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 9,223
Big Bore
|
|
Big Bore
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 9,223 |
I went on the no call list and that cut way down. Here's my solution:
When they call and ask for whoever, I say "just a second", set the phone down, and walk away. Hang it up later.
"Never underestimate the power of human stupidity" - Robert Heinlein
|
|
|
Re: Dealing with telemarketers
|
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 6,681 Likes: 1
Bar Shake
|
|
Bar Shake
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 6,681 Likes: 1 |
One time a guy called me and would not take no.  He finally said everyone likes to save money, don't you? I told him no hate saving money and pay full price for everything. He didn't have a comeback. So I hung up.
"Catching a yellow jacket in your shirt at seventy miles per hour can double your vocabulary" Author unknown
|
|
|
Re: Dealing with telemarketers
|
Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 319
Adjunct
|
|
Adjunct
Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 319 |
Before I signed up on the no call list I would start telling them about how to operate the pump on a firetruck. they would try to interrupt, but I would just keep on. They would hang up after a short while. 
'07 America
www.patriotguard.org
"If you're not living on the edge...........You're taking up too much space!
|
|
|
Re: Dealing with telemarketers
|
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 6,821
Bar Shake
|
|
Bar Shake
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 6,821 |
Here's one I did to a carpet cleaning company telemarketer once. TM: Good evening (they always call during supper), this is ------ carpet cleaners, how are you? Me: This is amazing, how did you know to call right now? TM: May I tell you about our specials? Me: Never mind, just tell me if you can get blood out of my carpet. TM: We have several methods depending on how old the stain is. Me: It just happened. TM: In that case we.. Me: (interuppting) It's a lot of blood. TM: We can handle.. Me: (interupting again) How soon can you get here? TM: (starting to sound concerned) We can... Me: Is that sirens? (silence) Me: &%^$@#, drop phone on counter and start shouting "YOU'LL NEVER TAKE ME ALIVE" while pounding on door. Opened door and lit a string of firecrackers. They never called back 
Contra todo mal, mezcal; contra todo bien, también
|
|
|
Re: Dealing with telemarketers
|
Joined: May 2007
Posts: 122
Adjunct
|
|
Adjunct
Joined: May 2007
Posts: 122 |
I've used this method quite often, however I also use " I had a vision that you were going to call, last night I heard voices telling me somethig good was going to happen".....and so on. You can just run with it you wear them out or breakup laughing.
|
|
|
Re: Dealing with telemarketers
|
Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 3,606 Likes: 2
Loquacious
|
|
Loquacious
Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 3,606 Likes: 2 |
I often say ...I'm a little busy right now, but am veryinterested in what you have to say and would love to hear all about it...if you could just give me your home phone number, I'll call you back as soon as I'm free
THE VOICE OF REASON
per: Stewart
AF&AM/Shriner/Scoutmaster
130/45 TBS 2shim SS Uni 18/42
|
|
|
Re: Dealing with telemarketers
|
Joined: May 2007
Posts: 225
Adjunct
|
|
Adjunct
Joined: May 2007
Posts: 225 |
One telemarketer, obviously new to the game, called me one evening and after talking for a while I got his last name and the town he lived in. Later in the wee hours of the morning I used my nationwide telephone cross reference directory and found his name and called him at home. Boy was he PO'd. I explained that if I ever got another call from his company I will reciprocate at very unseemly hours. No more calls from that company. 
Yes! I am a Redneck. Any Problems?
|
|
|
Re: Dealing with telemarketers
|
Joined: Jun 2005
Posts: 66
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Jun 2005
Posts: 66 |
When India calls here & asks for me, i tell them that i,m his brother & that i just died & we trying to organise a funeral.
Some of them are very persistant & stil trying to sell me better phone deals.
|
|
|
Re: Dealing with telemarketers
|
Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 23,219 Likes: 61
Fe Butt
|
|
Fe Butt
Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 23,219 Likes: 61 |
I say can you hold please then put the phone down and leave to go do something come back in about 20 min and they are almost always gone.If its electronic I hit a zillion buttons.
I learned all I need to know about life by killing smart people and eating their brains.
Eat right ,Exercise ,Stay fit, Die Anyway!
|
|
|
Re: Dealing with telemarketers
|
Joined: May 2006
Posts: 525
Adjunct
|
|
Adjunct
Joined: May 2006
Posts: 525 |
A blast from an airhorn before hanging up is also effective.
|
|
|
Re: Dealing with telemarketers
|
Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 1,337
Learned Hand
|
|
Learned Hand
Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 1,337 |
I tell them I have no desire to save any money. I have so much of it that there are rooms in my house I can't get into because the crap is stacked up in there so bad the doors won't open....
2002 Bandit 1200/ GSXR cams/ 1277 BB Kit/ Holeshot header and can/ 38mm flatslides/ a good head/lotsa hp/lotsa tq- lots of rear tires...
|
|
|
Re: Dealing with telemarketers
|
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 18,825
"Lighten up, Francis."
|
|
"Lighten up, Francis."
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 18,825 |
My favorite call was from the CD club (BMG or Columbia House) a few years ago. They wanted to cancel my membership and start me over with a new deal, 12 or 15 free CDs, and I think they even waived the 4 disc commitment. I had already planned on canceling the account because I have between 400-500 CDs and their catalog is just too limited. I literally could not find a dozen CDs I wanted.
So I told her no.
I swear she literally sputtered. I guess this pitch is a slam dunk most of the time. I explained my reasoning and all got was, "But... but... but..." I canceled my membership a little while later, but I didn't want to give her the satisfaction of any kind of resolution, whether canceling and renewing or just canceling the account.
As an aside, here we are a few scant years later and the CD is going the way of the dodo, as sales plummet in favor of online purchases (and yes, pirating, but that's another topic for another day, in fact, just the day after Never...).
|
|
|
Re: Dealing with telemarketers
|
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 5,537
Check Pants
|
|
Check Pants
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 5,537 |
Last guy who called me threw in the "how are you today sir" line. My reply, stolen from a bit heard on the radio:
Well, not so good, I just learned I have aids and not long to live.
Bit of silence and then he offered to call back at a better time. I kept this guy on for a very uncomfortable 10 minutes of so on speaker phone while my family stifled laughs in the background. Told him it was nice to talk to someone. Other topics discussed were:
- did he use condoms?
- said he was sorry about my illnes and I told him he wasn't the one who had unprotected anal sex. (that brought a good bit silence.
- In parting I asked him to call back soon as I was lonely and it was nice to talk to someone who cared.
I have no idea what he was selling.
Al
|
|
|
Re: Dealing with telemarketers
|
Joined: May 2007
Posts: 5,068 Likes: 1
Saddle Sore
|
|
Saddle Sore
Joined: May 2007
Posts: 5,068 Likes: 1 |
Fact - Telamarkiters proliferate in the South , 'cause we is so POLITE . Really , we don't hang up on 'em and POLITELY wait for a break in the pitch to POLITELY attemp to decline their offer of useless crap we don't want . They knowwit an dat's why we git inundated wit dem . Of course the preceding are generalities and there are many exceptions to the perceived demeanor of us people of the South . I'm hanging up now .
|
|
|
 Re: Dealing with telemarketers
|
Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 2,626
Loquacious
|
|
Loquacious
Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 2,626 |
My wife is from Nicaragua, and speaks the Miskito Indian language. I just hand her the phone, and she chatters away in Miskito. They hang up pretty quick. Or I answer them in German. Just don't try Spanish, most of the companies will have that covered.
Steelheart- '03 Speedmaster Black/Yellow
The Hayabusa Killa
16" Shorties/140 mains/Airbox drilled
Procom CDI
"There is no cure for Celibacy. But we can treat the symptoms."
|
|
|
Re: Dealing with telemarketers
|
Joined: Aug 2006
Posts: 2,555
Loquacious
|
|
Loquacious
Joined: Aug 2006
Posts: 2,555 |
ok does anyone get calls like this,
Phone rings, you pick up, theres about a 5 second delay, then an automated voice says, "Please hold for an important message".
Ok now what kinda of idiot would hold? (not this kind). But
somday I may just to find out what company would use this kind of approch.
The percentage you're paying is too high-priced
While you're living beyond all your means
And the man in the suit has just bought a new car
From the profit he's made on your dreams
|
|
|
Re: Dealing with telemarketers
|
Joined: May 2007
Posts: 6,432 Likes: 1
Worn Saddle
|
|
Worn Saddle
Joined: May 2007
Posts: 6,432 Likes: 1 |
Once upon a time you could put the phone company's tone that indicated an out of service number on the front end of your answering machine and it would defeat telemarketers and their dialing computers by removing you number from their list. Once in a while I would ask them what time they were going to eat dinner and ask for their number so I could call them back, usually ended the call with a click. What has always ripped me about telemarketing is that unlike junk mail, I'm paying for the phone service and they are using my capital for their (attempted) gain. I see that as stealing. 
A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort. Herm Albright (1876 - 1944)
|
|
|
Re: Dealing with telemarketers
|
Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 3,606 Likes: 2
Loquacious
|
|
Loquacious
Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 3,606 Likes: 2 |
Quote:
ok does anyone get calls like this,
Phone rings, you pick up, theres about a 5 second delay, then an automated voice says, "Please hold for an important message".
I get them at work...I put them on hold and when the joker on the other end picks up he/she hears a canned "your call is important to us please hold... blah, blah,blah" then we watch to see how long they wait...hey sometimes we're pretty bored at work...
THE VOICE OF REASON
per: Stewart
AF&AM/Shriner/Scoutmaster
130/45 TBS 2shim SS Uni 18/42
|
|
|
Re: Dealing with telemarketers
|
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 6,821
Bar Shake
|
|
Bar Shake
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 6,821 |
Start a political rant. (I bet that's what Larry does  ). Or, most newer phones have a hold button so you can put them on indefinite hold and not miss any calls. How to do it: "Can you hold one moment please?" Hit the button before they can reply. If they call back, say "your call is very important to me, please hold", and do it again; ad infinitum.
Contra todo mal, mezcal; contra todo bien, también
|
|
|
Re: Dealing with telemarketers
|
Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 23,219 Likes: 61
Fe Butt
|
|
Fe Butt
Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 23,219 Likes: 61 |
What gets me is why do they still bother? I don't think anyone listens or more importantly buys anything. Seems to me it more often has the opposite effect, now that you called I wouldn't take it if you paid me!
I learned all I need to know about life by killing smart people and eating their brains.
Eat right ,Exercise ,Stay fit, Die Anyway!
|
|
|
Re: Dealing with telemarketers
|
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 6,821
Bar Shake
|
|
Bar Shake
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 6,821 |
Yeah. like the Nigerian e-mail scams that keep circulating. Does anyone ever fall for that???? I bet some do, just like some can't resist a high pressure sales pitch; even from an unsolicited phone call 
Contra todo mal, mezcal; contra todo bien, también
|
|
|
Re: Dealing with telemarketers
|
Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 265
Adjunct
|
|
Adjunct
Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 265 |
One time, I got a call from one of thoses save the world type fondations, Well, being in a paticurly onery mood, I went off on a "Have you ever thought of converting to Satinism?" ramble. No bloody idea what I was saying, just pulling things out of the movies, did this for 10 minutes before they hung up! No call back...
"Reality is for people who lack Imagination"
|
|
|
Re: Dealing with telemarketers
|
Joined: Jan 2007
Posts: 3,466 Likes: 3
Loquacious
|
|
Loquacious
Joined: Jan 2007
Posts: 3,466 Likes: 3 |
I buy it all - upgrades, attachments and the extended warranty. Then when they ask me for my credit card number, I respond with; "Credit? I don't have any credit. I lost that when I filed bankruptcy after losing my job. It's been over a year and I still haven't found any work. Are you guys hiring? I'm behind on my mortgage and my lights were shut off almost a month ago and I really need to find work." Sometimes I use; "Pay? I thought I won. Why did you lie to me? Do you enjoy playing pranks on senior citizens?" My favorite was the vinyl siding salesman that I kept on the phone for about 30 minutes discussing colors, textures and options. When he asked for the address so he could come get the contract signed, I added an apartment number. After a long pause, he hung up. And remember, when they call to to offer you a better deal on refinancing your mortgage, the person calling usually doesn't have the authority to discuss mortages. They have to get their manager on the line... Sometimes you've just gotta entertain yourself.
|
|
|
Re: Dealing with telemarketers
|
Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 10
Complete Newb
|
|
Complete Newb
Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 10 |
my father in law will keep these people on the line for at least a hour asking questions and sounding very interested in what they have to sell, after getting telemarketers all excited and want to close the sale my in law will tell them that he is no longer interested and hangs up. HaHa! It's just to funny to watch!!
|
|
|
Re: Dealing with telemarketers
|
Joined: May 2007
Posts: 6,432 Likes: 1
Worn Saddle
|
|
Worn Saddle
Joined: May 2007
Posts: 6,432 Likes: 1 |
Quote:
Quote:
What gets me is why do they still bother? I don't think anyone listens or more importantly buys anything.
Yeah. like the Nigerian e-mail scams that keep circulating.
Does anyone ever fall for that????
You'd both be quite surprised at how often both of these tactics work. I know two folks who have fallen for the "I am the heir of Joseph Joseph" Nigerian scam and at least a dozen whose houses are full of telemarketing junk. It just makes me shake my head... 
A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort. Herm Albright (1876 - 1944)
|
|
|
Re: Dealing with telemarketers
|
Joined: Mar 2006
Posts: 1,540
Learned Hand
|
|
Learned Hand
Joined: Mar 2006
Posts: 1,540 |
My boss's kid speaks fake chinesse rapidly into the phone. Then pauses when the teller marketer asks "do you speak English" to which he replies "why yes I do speak English" then he launches back into fake chinesse. I almost lost it laughing a couple of times when he has pulled this.
|
|
|
Re: Dealing with telemarketers
|
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 3,611 Likes: 1
Loquacious
|
|
Loquacious
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 3,611 Likes: 1 |
Oh how I don't miss telemarketers.... no home phone fixes that problem.
Stewart
.......
"It's outside your field of expertise."
"Poppycock normally is."
|
|
|
Re: Dealing with telemarketers
|
Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 2,839 Likes: 3
Loquacious
|
|
Loquacious
Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 2,839 Likes: 3 |
i usually say into the phone that they will have to speak up i cant hear them hahahaha and i just keep repeating that, getting slightly louder each time as they keep getting louder untill they get frustrated and hang up hahahahaha some of the cuss words i have heard would make a sailor blush hahahahaha they think i cant hear them so they let it fly hahahahahaha
ENJOY!!!!! NEWT!!!!!
|
|
|
Re: Dealing with telemarketers
|
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 7,630 Likes: 7
Monkey Butt
|
|
Monkey Butt
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 7,630 Likes: 7 |
Quote:
Cancel your land line. I think I've only received one telemarketing call on my cell phone and I made their ears burn. The litany of profanity would've made a sailor blush.
I don't know about that, I don't blush very easily  
We all like to think of ourselves as rugged individualists. But when push comes to shove most of us are sheep who do what we are told. Worst of all, a lot of us become unpaid agents of whoever is controlling the agenda by enforcing the current dogma on the few rugged individualists who actually exist.
|
|
|
Re: Dealing with telemarketers
|
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 7,630 Likes: 7
Monkey Butt
|
|
Monkey Butt
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 7,630 Likes: 7 |
No one is a telemarketer by choice. I just say "No Thanks, please add me to your no call list" and let it go. It's usually some poor sap making ends meet until something better comes along so why crap on them.
We all like to think of ourselves as rugged individualists. But when push comes to shove most of us are sheep who do what we are told. Worst of all, a lot of us become unpaid agents of whoever is controlling the agenda by enforcing the current dogma on the few rugged individualists who actually exist.
|
|
|
Re: Dealing with telemarketers
|
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 18,825
"Lighten up, Francis."
|
|
"Lighten up, Francis."
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 18,825 |
Quote:
please add me to your no call list
I just saw an article online (which means it has to be true) that said you have to say this exact phrase to many telemarketers before they'll do it. If you scream, "DON'T CALL ME ANYMORE" that's not good enough. Any loophole for some of these scumbags.
|
|
|
Re: Dealing with telemarketers
|
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 58
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 58 |
Guys, This one will sort your problems with telemarketers out, when you realise you got one on the line starthitting the hash key rapidly on your phone, it tells their computer that its dialled a fax number and takes you off the list, did it for about a month and haven,t had one since (over 3 years now), cheers have fun, Tadpole
|
|
|
Re: Dealing with telemarketers
|
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 3,954
Loquacious
|
|
Loquacious
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 3,954 |
Larry, while I would partially agree with you about them being some poor schmuck trying to make ends meet, my patience reserve rapidly goes negative when they call at about 8:30 on a Saturday or Sunday morning. Generally I keep it pretty decent, until they start becoming a pest, either by calling several weeks in a row, or keep going on after you say "no thanks". Then, screw 'em...
|
|
|
Re: Dealing with telemarketers
|
Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 2,525
Loquacious
|
|
Loquacious
Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 2,525 |
Quote:
hit the hash key rapidly on your phone
**** this one?
Erwin
05 America
|
|
|
Re: Dealing with telemarketers
|
Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 948
3/4 Throttle
|
|
3/4 Throttle
Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 948 |
My wife once read Dr. Suess's "The Footbook" aloud to a solicitator.("Big feet, little feet, wet feet, clown feet...etc" She calmly kept reading and he tried to interupt her several times and then finally hung up.
Redbike7
2006 America
No amount of skill can overcome gross stupidity. Ask me how I know...never mind, I forgot...
|
|
|
Re: Dealing with telemarketers
|
Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 20,096 Likes: 2
Fe Butt
|
|
Fe Butt
Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 20,096 Likes: 2 |
Quote:
my father in law will keep these people on the line for at least a hour asking questions and sounding very interested in what they have to sell, after getting telemarketers all excited and want to close the sale my in law will tell them that he is no longer interested and hangs up. HaHa! It's just to funny to watch!!
Let me guess here, andres! Your father-in-law?! He's retired TOO, Huh?!
(Well...if ya DON'T own a Triumph, I suppose there ARE other ways to occupy one's time instead o' THIS PLACE!...I just may have to try THAT if I ever sell my BA!!!)
Yep! Just like a good Single Malt Scotch, you might call me "an acquired taste" TOO.(among the many OTHER things you may care to call me, of course)
|
|
|
Re: Dealing with telemarketers
|
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 5,590
Check Pants
|
|
Check Pants
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 5,590 |
Quote:
i usually say into the phone that they will have to speak up i cant hear them hahahaha and i just keep repeating that
That's funny Newt,
My grandpa used to live with us and a bit hard of hearing. He was mostly German and had a loud voice on the phone. When somebody'd call he'd say "Halloe, Halloe". Anyway last year a marketer called and being part German, I started saying "Halloe, Halloe?, Halloe?" during the sales monologue. Same result as you, guy swore at me and hung up, which I didn't think was very polite.
John
"It's not what I say that's important, it's what you hear" Red Auerbach
|
|
|
|
|
