1. Find the closest Burlington Northern railroad track and walk along it.
2. Keep an eye open for an old rusty rail spike.
3. Take said spike home and place it under your bed.
4. The next time you wake up in the morning and think about:
a. selling your bike to finance marriage
b. getting married because you're "in love",
c. getting married due to your "biological clock",
d. getting married because it's time to settle down,
5. Reach under the bed and place said spike in your hand.
6. Jam it into the side of your head as far as it will go
